Her Roommate Won’t Flush, Clean, Or Cook — Now This Redditor Has Finally Had Enough

A 28-year-old woman refused to flush, clean, or cook, and her roommate is the one stuck coming home to the aftermath. This isn’t just “oops, forgot to do the dishes,” it’s toilet issues, sink smells, and food stains left on a fabric couch like it’s part of the decor.

OP moved in with the roommate after her lowkey helicopter mother explained she had bladder and digestive problems, plus asked OP to be patient, wake her up every day, and basically handle the mess. For a while, OP tried to roll with it, but months later, the roommate never follows through, only promises she will, then repeats the same routine the next day.

Now OP is asking the internet if they’re the asshole for finally snapping, and it all started with one gross evening home.

Coming home to a mess — and the smell that came with it — was draining.

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Original Post

I have lived with my roommate for over 8months now, her lowkey helicopter mother told me beforehand that because of her illness(bladder/ digestive problems) she let her be a little spoiled and would just cleaned up after her and asked for me to be patient with her lack of cleanliness and to wake her up everyday?

now that i think abt it idk why i agreed but i was like "kind of a weird thing to ask me but sure i guess", but i didn't think it was gonna be an issue until i actually saw it. She wouldn't do the dishes, clean up after herself, flush the toilet, or basically any shared housework unless i specifically reminded her (and it gets a little tiring after months of that), she also had a weird habit of throwing food down the sink and ot starts smelling real bad if i wait for her to clean it up. She would also have terrible table manners and would leave food directly on the couch and stain it then leave it as it is, which was pretty darn difficult to get off since the couch was made of fabric. But whenever i point it out, at first she says she'll stop but the next day i find her doing the same thing. Now my own parents were aware of all that and at first they were also pissed, but lately they've been telling me that my roommate was just very ill and i should be patient but honestly i don't care i don't think being ill justifies her making a mess around and me having to be patient, waking her up everyday and still cleaning up after her? Btw, for context we're both uni students but she barely attends any classes so im ngl after coming back from my classes to a mess and weird odors, its not the best feeling out there but i might be overreacting. AITA?

The conflict between the Redditor and her roommate showcases the common challenges that arise from differing lifestyles and habits in shared living situations. The article highlights the unusual request from the roommate's mother to have her daughter woken up every morning, which sets a tone of dependency rather than mutual respect. This dynamic can lead to significant tension, especially when one roommate feels burdened by the other's lack of personal responsibility.

Communication is clearly a critical factor in this scenario. By not addressing the roommate's messy habits and failure to contribute to household chores, unresolved frustrations have built up over the months. A proactive discussion about cleaning duties and shared responsibilities could have prevented the escalation of these issues.

Regular check-ins to discuss expectations and boundaries could help create a more harmonious living environment. It is essential for both roommates to understand that a respectful and cooperative relationship is built on open dialogue and shared commitment to maintaining a clean and comfortable home.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

Reddit u/Mrs_Weaver

"Find a new roommate."

Reddit u/Anonymous_Sad_Person

OP thought it was a “weird request” at first, then the sink started smelling like the food was marinating until OP cleaned it.

Living with a roommate often requires compromise and negotiation.

Regular discussions about household chores and personal boundaries can prevent resentment from building up. Additionally, utilizing shared apps for tracking cleaning tasks can keep everyone accountable.

Involving both parties in establishing a routine can lead to a more harmonious living situation, ultimately benefiting both roommates' mental well-being.

"Move out ASAP."

Reddit u/TeenySod

NTA.

Reddit u/Brilliant_Style6105

"You shouldn't have to live this way."

Reddit u/NewWayHom

Every time OP pointed out the unflushed toilet and the couch food stains, the roommate would swear she’d stop, then do the exact same thing the next day.

In the story of a Redditor who has reached her breaking point with her roommate's lack of hygiene and shared responsibility, the importance of open communication cannot be understated. The roommate's mother’s unusual request for the Redditor to wake her daughter each morning sets an odd precedent for their living arrangement. This dynamic clearly indicates a need for clarity in expectations from the outset.

As the Redditor navigates her frustrations over the messy living conditions, it becomes evident that articulating her feelings about cleanliness could be a key step in addressing the issue. Instead of resorting to passive-aggressive comments or silent resentment, expressing feelings through 'I' statements, such as feeling overwhelmed by the clutter, could help foster understanding. This approach might lead to a more constructive dialogue, allowing both roommates to reassess their responsibilities and hopefully improve their living situation.

"This is not on you to fix."

Reddit u/jx1854

"She should have stayed home."

Reddit u/BxBae133

"Disgusting."

Reddit u/Usual_Equivalent_888

It’s essential to recognize the underlying issues causing conflict in shared living situations.

It’s the same kind of financial line-crossing as the husband who refused to put his wife’s $80K business debt on his credit cards.

"A messed up combo."

Reddit u/capmanor1755

Absolutely not!

Reddit u/Upset-Donut-882

"She shouldn't be living in student accommodation."

Reddit u/Fioreborn

The roommate’s mom kept framing it as illness, but OP was still waking her up daily and doing the shared chores she refused to touch.

Setting limits can foster trust and respect.

In this scenario, the Redditor might benefit from drafting a roommate agreement that outlines responsibilities and expectations regarding cleanliness and shared chores. This formalized approach can provide a sense of accountability and encourage both roommates to uphold their commitments.

Regularly revisiting this agreement can also ensure it remains relevant and effective for both parties.

"She's just spoiled."

Reddit u/Over_Fold_4029

She's making excuses for being lazy.

Reddit u/Nyx-by-night

"She needs to stay with her mother."

Reddit u/CheeSupreme1743

Even after OP’s own parents said to be patient, OP is stuck coming back from class to odors and a mess that never actually improves.

Conflict in shared living situations often arises from unmet expectations and poor communication.

In this case, having a candid conversation about daily routines, including cooking and cleaning, could help clarify responsibilities.

By establishing mutual agreements on these matters, roommates can cultivate a more supportive and cooperative environment that minimizes conflict and fosters better communication.

"There is no illness that prevents her from flushing the toilet."

Reddit u/SaucyGooner79

In the end, the OP is not trying to be heartless — she just wants basic respect and a livable space. Compassion has its limits, and sometimes “being patient” turns into being walked all over.

Now she’s left wondering if it’s time to move out, set boundaries, or finally tell her roommate’s mom that she’s retired from the role of unofficial caretaker. Because at this point, all she really wants is a clean sink, a flushed toilet, and a little peace after class.

This scenario underscores the importance of boundary-setting in cohabitation dynamics.

The situation faced by the Redditor illustrates the critical importance of communication and boundary-setting in shared living situations.

OP might not be the asshole, but this roommate setup definitely is not built for coexisting.

For another family fallout, see how a man refused to sell $100K crypto for his uncle’s $20K gambling debt.