People Share 30 Incredibly Useful Things That They've Learned In Therapy

Chances are you've either been to therapy or you haven't. There are people in the world who swear by therapy and the benefits it can provide, while others think it's a hoax and not meant to help at all.

Honestly, no matter your stance on it, I think we can all agree that it's definitely useful to gain some insight into valuable life tips or hear another perspective on things you may not have considered. Obviously, these tips are important enough for these individuals to want to share them with us.

We thought it would be useful and fun to compile all of this advice that people have learned in therapy so that we can fill our minds with more valuable information. These are 30 different life lessons, pieces of advice, or other areas of insight that people have learned in therapy.

Therapy is a way to talk to a professional about stressors, tendencies, mental health, and trauma. So, if you're looking for life advice, seeking some therapy knowledge, or just interested in hearing what people have to say, then keep on reading.

Let's dive into 30 useful things that people have learned in therapy.

1. Being perfect isn't healthy.

"Progress, not perfection. As someone who has *extremely* high standards for myself, I have to repeat this daily."driftwood-and-waves

2. Your thoughts don't run you; just remember that.

"Just because you think a thought, it does not mean that thought controls your destiny or defines who you are. Our minds come up with some really weird s**t... and that's okay.They're just thoughts. How we choose to feel or act is what really counts."Xerxes2004

3. This is a great perspective.

"She told me not to think about a pink elephant.

I didn’t know what she meant at the time, but she gave me a few moments to think. I was trying not to think about a pink elephant, but it’s all I could think about because she told me not to think about it.After the time was up, she asked me what I was thinking about. I told her I was thinking about a pink elephant.She told me that the more you try not to think about something and push it to the back of your mind, the more you tend to think about it. This is why my thoughts were consuming me, and I was having awful flashbacks.Thanks to her, I have been able to manage my PTSD, depression, and anxiety. She was lovely."ZoeDurrant1601

4. This is important to remember.

"How people act is a reflection of them, not me."Commercial_Zombie196

5. Don't feel guilty about saying no.

"You know, most people don't actually feel guilty when saying 'no' to someone or something. They don't rush to 'fill the gap' or find alternative solutions that make everyone happy, nor do they dwell on the awfulness of it all.They just say 'no' and move on to the next thought. I don't know why it was such a startling revelation, but it made sense immediately after I heard it."grumpy_hedgehog

6. Now this is something I need to hear on a bad day.

"I had confidence issues, and the therapist said, 'On a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being a famous movie star with millions of fans, and 1 being a homeless person screaming at people on the street, 5 being you can hold a conversation, where do you put yourself?'I realized I wasn't as bad as I thought."Never_comment_polite

7. Hopefully, this helps someone out there who needs to hear it.

"My mom was a terrible person, and the therapist told me I didn't need to treat her as if she were a loving mother. I was doing all the things a good daughter does for a mother who loves them; however, I didn't have a mother who treated me as though she loved me.It was life-changing to realize this and really helped me stop being abused by her."Spiritual_Annual_276

8. You should never act as though your traumas are not valid because someone else's might be 'worse.'

"Just because you know someone who had it worse does not mean your situation wasn't abuse as well.As a non-combat veteran, just because I wasn't getting shot at doesn't mean I don't deserve VA assistance for the PTSD caused by my military role."hermitatlarge

9. Spending your energy on negativity will only bring more negativity.

"If you take good thoughts with a grain of salt, why not also take the bad with a grain of salt? Hear it, recognize it, and let it leave."findthefish14

10. This one is golden.

"You have a limited amount of energy and time in any given day, and you get to choose where you place that energy, like chips at a roulette table.Every angry Twitter response, Reddit argument, etc., is me putting those chips on those squares. My stack dwindles each time.Angry thoughts about a news article, an opinion I disagree with, that a*****e driver on the freeway—all of that takes energy, my chips. An extremely limited resource.So I’m trying to live through that lens and make the best possible decisions with my stack. That a*****e driver gets none of my chips anymore. YOU CAN'T HAVE 'EM, F**KFACE.Today, I was about to have a negative interaction online, so I got up and petted the ever-loving s**t out of my cat instead. Like, world-class scratches—he was stoked.Chips. Place them wisely.I stop myself many times a day from doing it. I’m much happier now. Still f****d up, but happier in my stew, if that makes any sense."campoanywhere

11. This is great advice for those of us with anxiety.

"A counselor at my university taught me that just because your anxiety tells you something will happen, that doesn't make it true. One way to illustrate this is to place a pen on a table, tell yourself you won't be able to pick it up, and then do it anyway.It feels so weird but also so comforting to know that your thoughts don't have as much influence on your life as they want you to believe. The therapist who told me this was just an intern at the time.I really hope she has been able to help people the same way she helped me, wherever she is now."BlossomtheMare

12. This is difficult.

"To not make permanent decisions while in a highly emotional state."_NotTheBang_

13. This is powerful.

"That all emotions have their time and place. Also, that I can’t control how other people feel. It’s not my job to keep them happy or satisfied. I am allowed to let people be angry or upset."stewiesaidblast

14. This first one is something I think we all need to know.

"Failure is an idea that not all cultures believe in. Native Americans believe you either succeed or you learn. 'Failing' is a social construct designed to control you."nornidentity

15. This is something we might not want to hear.

"We judge others based on their actions, but we judge ourselves based on our intentions."Jesst3r

16. This is another great perspective.

"Be kind and unconditionally loving toward yourself as though you were a little kid. A lot of us still have some trace of feeling like a child left within us, but we can still be inwardly harsh and cruel in ways we would never be to the softest parts of ourselves if they were manifested into another being."threecolorless

17. This is something I know I needed to hear.

"If you spend time stressing or worrying about something that *might* happen or *before* it happens, you're putting yourself through it twice. If the worst-case scenario *does* happen, then once is enough."SabrinaSpellman1

18. Perfect for anyone that needs to hear this.

"I’ve struggled with infertility, and I’m now sterile. It was a b***h to get through, but my therapist taught me a few things.Other people's situations have nothing to do with me. People I’m close to are going to get pregnant and have kids.It’s okay for me to feel jealous and upset for a bit, but I needed to realize that it’s a part of life, and holding onto that anger wasn’t going to be good for me. Let it go.I still get bitter sometimes, but I find it easier to let it go now and not let it consume me. To not blame myself.I kept coming up with reasons for my infertility—things I thought I could’ve done differently—and maybe if I did this or didn’t do that, this wouldn’t have happened to me when, in all actuality, there wasn’t anything I really could’ve done. I have a medical condition, and I got the s**t end of the stick.Not to feel guilty. I felt so much guilt because my husband wants to be a father so badly.I sometimes felt so bad he married me and thought I wouldn’t blame him if he left me for someone who could give him children. He’s told me again and again he loves me, and if we never have kids, it’s okay because he has me.I didn’t feel I deserved that kind of love, and sometimes it’s hard to accept, but I’m so grateful for it. I do deserve love; I’m more than my ability to have children, and it’s been a hard road to finally start having some acceptance of that.If I hadn’t met my therapist, I think I would just be in such a terrible state."KayOh19

19. Here's a group of great advice.

"That my traumatized child self still lives rent-free in my head, and that's okay, but we are not the same person anymore, so their fears and hurts should not stop my present from being happy.That I don't have to prove my worth through deeds and self-sacrifice. My worth is intrinsic.That people can love you and mean well and still hurt you, so I shouldn't be afraid to voice those hurts.Those are just a few. She was great."potatobutton

20. This doesn't make me any less anxious about it though.

"People aren't always looking and thinking about you if you're in public. If you enter a room full of people and they all turn to look at you, it's just a knee-jerk reaction to movement/noise; they literally won't even think about you past 'this person just entered the room.'It helped so much with social anxiety."Fable_Nova

21. Always take actions at face value.

"People lie with their words, not their actions."timmyisserpico

22. This is fantastic advice.

"Not from a therapist, but from pre-marital counseling:Don’t try to 'win' an argument with your spouse. It’s the two of you vs. the problem, not the two of you vs. each other."Bluedevil_10

23. This is something we all should hear.

"You cannot help people unless and until you help yourself. My therapist asked me how I would explain the scars I had to future partners or future children one day.Do you want them to know that you were in a not-so-good place with your mental health but got help, or do you tell them nothing?Also, when I was a teenager and had just been released from the adolescent inpatient ward, I was nervous about going back to school. My therapist just looked me straight in the eye and said I owed no one any explanations, but I also could tell people nicely to get bent.She is one of the reasons why I became a social worker."Helpful-Obligation57

24. This is so true.

"How people treat you is THEIR karma. How YOU respond is your karma."alaskadavis

25. Believe it or not, mindset is everything.

"You can bring up your mood if you reframe your thinking.Instead of being annoyed that you have to clean your cat boxes, be grateful that you have an animal who keeps you company.Having to wash dishes means that you got to eat a meal.Having to take someone to the airport means that you have friends/family in your life that trust you."purpleRN

26. I love this.

"People don’t care. They are not talking behind my back or thinking how I’m fat and ugly or that my shoes are wrong.People don’t care about me. And if they are? Who cares?It literally changed my anxiety. It also works in the sense that most people in my life have not cared about me, and I need to stop trying to please people that don’t care about ME."princessbitch123

27. No explanation is needed.

"'No.' is a complete sentence."no-guac

28. Yes, and some people use this as a coping mechanism.

"Overworking is a form of self-harm."PhreedomPhighter

29. Don't work yourself to death.

"My worth is not determined by my productivity.Being raised by a workaholic Marine and then having a series of nightmare bosses led me to have a severe guilt spiral if I spent most of the day not 'doing' something."kayarreff

30. Also, people aren't as great at taking hints as we might think.

"People don’t know what you’re thinking or wanting if you don’t say it. If you don’t communicate your emotions and thoughts, you can’t expect people to mind-read and then get upset at them for not doing what you expected."lhy13

Every single one of these was great advice and, honestly, should make people consider therapy more. It's amazing what you can learn when you take another perspective or simply simplify your thoughts.

Remember—there is no shame in asking for help when you need it. It is a smart thing to do.