Girl Is Worried That Her Boyfriend Will Become Abusive And Wants To Leave Him Before He Does

Today's Reddit post that we're looking at is actually from the relationship advice thread, which is one that we often go through. This thread receives many posts because, ultimately, people in relationships need a lot of advice.

This thread is the perfect place to go if you are looking to get advice from people who are unbiased and do not have any ties to you at all. With that being said, today's post was submitted by a girl who wants advice on her relationship because she's worried that he may become abusive.

Now, you can already imagine what people are telling her in the comments, and it's totally in the right direction here. The things that OP discusses in the post itself are terrible, and you can tell how much of an abusive person she is with, even if he hasn't really physically harmed her yet.

This is such a sad post, but people were extremely supportive in the comments and told her the truth. So, if you're interested in looking into this post and seeing all of the best comments on it as well, then keep on reading as we dive in and give you all the details on it.

OP's post is actually pretty short and just goes into the details we need in order to understand the situation and where she's coming from in terms of how she feels about what he's doing.

u/Activelyconfused

This is the best comment because she really needs to understand that this is indeed already an abusive relationship and she needs to get out before it gets worse.

Cultural_Shape3518

People gave some very great advice in the comments section, and we hope that OP acted quickly and really got out of there because it's just not okay.

Applesbabe

Understanding Fear of Future Violence in Relationships

The concern about potential abuse in a relationship often stems from past experiences of trauma or witnessing violence in earlier relationships. According to Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned couples therapist, "Individuals who have experienced trauma may develop a heightened sensitivity to perceived threats, making them more vigilant in their relationships." This hyper-awareness can lead to anticipatory anxiety, where individuals become increasingly fearful of future events that may not happen but feel inevitable based on their past experiences.

He is absolutely manipulating her, and he will continue to do so if she doesn't stand up for herself and keep standing up for herself.

Smokedealers84

Yep, this is something she needs to understand too: he's physically stopping her from leaving, so that would be considered physically abusive for the most part.

typhlosion109

It's very clear that people came to the comments with empathy and advice because they shared their own stories and truly helped her avoid making the same mistakes they did.

J-hophop

It’s essential to understand that these feelings are not merely irrational fears but rather protective instincts developed through learned experiences. As Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher and author, states, "People who have experienced trauma often develop heightened sensitivity to potential threats in their relationships." Individuals with a history of trauma frequently adopt coping strategies that prioritize emotional safety over relational connection. Recognizing this can help individuals understand their fears as valid responses to past harm rather than personal failings.

He knows exactly what he's doing, and I think that's why OP isn't so surprised every time; really, he's not as "upset" as he seems.

Wanderful-Woman

Basically, everyone is telling her that she needs to do anything and everything to get out of that relationship, and fast.

AnimeJoex

It's extremely abusive, and by the way things are going, he seems capable of getting much, much worse.

Restingbitchyfacee

Developing Strategies for Emotional Safety

For individuals feeling anxious about potential abuse, creating a safety plan can be an empowering and practical step. According to experts in trauma-informed care, establishing clear boundaries and recognizing warning signs can help individuals regain a sense of control.

Additionally, seeking support from trusted friends or professionals can provide validation and guidance, reinforcing that one’s instincts about safety should not be ignored.

This guy is a walking red flag, and it's unfortunate that OP even has to deal with this, much less try to find a way out.

Eastern_Bend7294

It's very clear that everyone here is on the same page about this and feels that OP's boyfriend is already abusive. He seems to be a hothead and very toxic overall, but he's also smart, knowing exactly how he's manipulating her.

She needs to get out fast.

Engaging in therapy or support groups can also be invaluable for processing fears and developing healthier relationship patterns. Research indicates that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can effectively address anxiety related to trauma and help individuals develop more adaptive coping strategies.

Practicing mindfulness and grounding techniques can also assist in reducing anxiety and enhancing emotional regulation, making it easier to navigate relational fears.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates a common response rooted in past trauma and a heightened sensitivity to perceived threats. It’s normal for individuals to fear patterns that resemble past abusive experiences, and acknowledging these feelings can be a vital part of ensuring emotional safety.

Understanding that these instincts are protective in nature can guide individuals toward making informed decisions about their relationships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, the fear of potential abuse is a significant issue that deserves attention and understanding. Mental health professionals emphasize that recognizing these fears as legitimate is the first step toward healing and empowerment. Through supportive measures and therapeutic interventions, individuals can work toward healthier relationships.