18 People Online Share The Lies That Their Parents Told Them, and They Are Either Hilarious, Pure Genius, or Scary
Parents typically lie because of their children's uncontrollable behaviors.
Some parents will say almost anything to get through a meltdown, and the internet has plenty of stories to prove it. From harmless little fibs to genuinely spooky warnings, these childhood lies can be funny, clever, or a little unsettling.
In this roundup, people online shared the biggest whoppers their parents told them growing up, and the results range from classic behavior tricks to stories that still make them laugh years later. A few are surprisingly creative, a few are downright mean, and some are so absurd they almost sound made up.
Either way, these 18 replies show just how far parents will go when they need a child to listen. Read on.
When we were kids, parents would lie to us because of how mischievous we were.
Bravo / giphy.comRecently, a Redditor asked the community.
A user named bordemstirs posted this question:
What is the most ridiculous/fucked-up lie your parents told you?The lies parents told were unbelievably genius; some were sweet, and others were downright evil.
ABC / giphy.com1. Birthday slushies!
My birthday is the 11th of July. The gas station 7-Eleven gives away free slushies on 7/11. When I was 7, 8, and 9 years old, my parents told me that 7-Eleven wanted to celebrate my birthday by giving me free slushies, and I did not question it. I thought the gas station just really liked me!
anypebble, oneclearvision
2. Scary!
That if I ate too much candy, ants would come out of my ass.
mr-vizla, Abderrahmane Benbouzid
That one probably worked a little too well.
3. Now it's obvious when this kid lied.
That my eyes turned orange when I lied. I always covered my eyes when I lied so my mom couldn’t see them!
NoseyRosey40, ABC / giphy.com
4. Poor Barney.
My dad got fed up with watching Barney & Friends when I was a kid, so one day when I asked to watch it, he said: 'You can't. Barney died.'
b14nn, PBS Kids / giphy.com
5. How to keep children behaving inside the car
My parents said that my siblings and I had a sister named Alice. Apparently, she wouldn't stop talking in the car, so they dropped her off on the side of the road. We never spoke on road trips ever again.
jaykayhicks
6. If the kid doesn't want to leave the zoo
My parents told me we had to leave the zoo because they let the animals out at closing time.
agrips1, LeeYiuTung
That exit strategy sounds strangely effective.
7. Remembering the good old days
Around the time that Toy Story first came out, my dad drove an Infiniti and told us that he could press a button and go 'to infinity and beyond' to jump over other cars. He'd have us close our eyes and press the button, and he’d speed up and pass the car in front of us while our eyes were closed. As a kid, I thought he was magic.
nopenonotatall, WendellandCarolyn
8. How to stop kids from asking for ice cream every time
That the music meant the truck was out of ice cream.
fierian, GaudiLab
9. How to lessen a child's pain
My cat died, and my mom told me that he moved to Florida.
Affectionate-Bar-839, ABC / giphy.com
10. The Can
When I was a kid, my father told me about 'the can.' He said it contained a family secret of incredible value, and that when I turned 18, I could see it. On my 18th birthday, I asked my father about the can. He said, 'The fuck is the can?' and after I reminded him of it, he burst out laughing, saying that he was messing with me. For almost a decade, I believed that I would be privy to some cosmic secret on my 18th birthday. Turns out I'm just very impressionable.
chrismamo1, nevake
Some of these are pure survival tactics.
This is similar to the AITA fight over feeding a vegan sister non-vegan food at family dinner.
11. Parents often used the authorities to scare children.
They told me kids came from a government agency called the CAA (Child Assignment Agency) and that they could exchange me whenever they wanted if I misbehaved. They told me they were eyeing a 'well-behaved little girl' but hadn't decided yet. They used it against me for years.
Saturdead, imgur.com / giphy.com
12. Imagine hearing this scary thing as a child.
When I was little, my mom told me if I didn't finish my dinner, my stomach would get very hungry and come up and eat my brain. A few nights later, I woke her up at midnight crying because my stomach growled, and I needed a second dinner or it would eat my brain.
DragonStangFlyer122, Aspen Film Society / giphy.com
13. How to stop kids from playing with the dome lights
That it’s illegal to turn the light on in the car while driving.
IamTheDanger6, Jive Records / giphy.com
14. Be afraid, be very afraid of teeth goblins!
That if I didn't brush my teeth, tiny teeth goblins would sneak into my room at night and pull out my teeth while I slept. I was genuinely afraid of the teeth goblins!
tomorrowistomato, ABC / giphy.com
That is one way to make a child remember the dentist.
15. This must've worked well.
If I ate too much Halloween candy, I'd turn into an Oompa Loompa.
EerieArizona, Wolper Pictures / giphy.com
16. No more pink cows.
There is no more strawberry milk ever. They killed all the pink cows (that's where strawberry milk comes from, obviously) to make the milk that I drank, and now they were all dead.
bordemstirs, Rixie
17. This dad is secretly evil.
When my dad wanted me to stop bothering him, he would send me on aimless errands. He'd say stuff like, 'Go to the shed and get me the chain stretcher.' I’d be looking for hours.
Pussydestroyer885, Joe_Potato
18. Children were always afraid of seeds growing inside them
I was told that watermelon seeds would grow inside me and sprout out of my head if I swallowed them. Needless to say, I cried until I threw up when I accidentally swallowed watermelon seeds.
airpodwearer, San Diego Zoo / giphy.com
Lying to children is okay, but only to some extent.
Overusing instrumental lying can negatively impact a child's behavior. In research by the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, it was found that there is a tendency for individuals to lie to their parents once they become adults.
Instead of lying, parents need to choose an alternative method to keep their children from misbehaving.
Some of these childhood lies clearly left a mark.
For another sibling showdown, read about refusing to share ice cream with your sisters puppy.
