Young Woman Takes On 38K Loan For Family, Dad Wants Her To Co-Sign Another
She already took on a 38k loan to keep a family car, and now her dad wants her to risk her credit again for a truck he can’t finance alone.
In this story, a woman (OP) called her dad on Father’s Day, expecting the usual light conversation. Instead, the call took a turn she didn’t see coming.
Her dad mentioned that he needed to sell his truck because getting in and out of it had become painful.
He planned to buy a smaller one and then slipped in a detail that landed hard. He said he’d need her to co-sign the loan. Not asked. Not discussed. Just stated as if it was already settled.
What made it sting wasn’t only the surprise. Growing up, OP heard both her parents say they would never co-sign a loan for their kids. They said it was too risky and it wasn’t something they believed in at all.
OP never challenged that rule because she never needed a co-signer anyway, but the message stuck. Now, suddenly, those rules didn’t seem to apply anymore.
On top of that, she had already taken on a large loan to keep a classic family car from being sold to a stranger. She stepped in because the car meant a lot to all of them, and she didn’t want to see it disappear.
That loan currently sits in her name, and it eats up most of her budget every month. Not to mention that she earns $20/hr, which is barely remains after bills are settled.
For OP, taking on such a financial risk doesn’t just feel uncomfortable; it feels impossible this period.
Still, it’s her dad. He’s never missed a payment in the past, but he recently went through bankruptcy tied to a failed business, and things at home aren’t steady.
The request has left her torn, and she needs help deciding what to do. Check out the screenshots below for the full story.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comOP’s dad wants her to be a co-signer on a loan he wants to take. But she’s skeptical because her dad has previous mentioned he would never be a co-signer for any of his kids
Reddit.comRegardless of what her dad said in the past, he financial situation makes it difficult to even consider such a risk
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Understanding Financial Responsibility
Financial experts like Jean Chatzky emphasize that co-signing a loan can have significant repercussions on one's credit score and financial health.
Chatzky advises individuals to carefully consider the risks involved before agreeing to co-sign, as this could lead to unexpected financial strain if the primary borrower defaults.
She suggests that discussing financial goals and limits with family members can help navigate such requests, ensuring that all parties are on the same page.
The Emotional Impact of Financial Decisions
Financial decisions can also have emotional implications. Dr. Michael Thompson, a child psychologist, notes that children often feel pressure to support family members financially, leading to anxiety and guilt.
This pressure can be mitigated by creating an environment where children feel empowered to express their feelings about financial discussions. Encouraging children to voice their concerns can prevent feelings of obligation from turning into resentment.
Thompson suggests that families should explore alternative solutions to financial issues, promoting collaborative problem-solving to alleviate emotional burdens.
OP is confused on the answer to give
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We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
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“People who have their finances in order don't need co signers and don't file for bankruptcy.”
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Relationship dynamics often complicate financial decisions. Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, explains that financial stress can exacerbate family tensions. She notes that open communication about finances is essential to maintain trust and mutual respect.
Orbuch encourages families to establish clear boundaries regarding financial assistance. This includes discussing the implications of co-signing loans and ensuring everyone understands the risks involved.
By fostering transparency, families can avoid misunderstandings that might lead to resentment or conflict in the future.
“You should never ever cosign for someone unless you're legally married to them.”
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“You have great credit and you are risking it by co-signing. Your dad is unreliable.”
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“A 25 year old declaring bankruptcy is learning a harsh lesson that will hopefully stick with them.”
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Long-Term Financial Planning
Financial planners suggest that individuals should prioritize establishing their own financial stability before taking on additional risks. For instance, Tiffany Aliche recommends creating an emergency fund and paying down existing debts to improve financial resilience.
Aliche emphasizes that establishing a solid financial foundation allows individuals to make better decisions regarding family assistance. She encourages setting clear financial goals and timelines to avoid situations that could jeopardize one's credit or financial security.
“Never cosign for anyone unless you are prepared to be on the hook for the loan and for your credit score to nosedive.”
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“If he just filed bankruptcy then he shouldn't be buying a vehicle that he can't afford in cash.”
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“People who keep up with their bills don’t need to file for bankruptcy or need co-signers.”
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Dr. Jane Nelsen, a parenting expert, advocates for teaching children about financial literacy from a young age. She believes that instilling a sense of responsibility can help them navigate complex financial decisions in adulthood.
Nelsen emphasizes the importance of discussing the implications of co-signing loans, as these lessons can foster a sense of agency and understanding in future financial dealings. Parents should model open conversations about money and responsibility, which can lead to healthier relationships with finances.
It’s easy to understand why she wants to protect her credit, especially after watching past decisions ripple into her life.
From the comments, the overwhelming majority of Netizens have warned her not to accept her father’s request. Many have questioned his ability to pay back the loan, as his money management is suspect.
We hope OP can make the best decision that offers the lowest risk. In the end, everyone will have to accept whatever decision she makes in good faith, regardless of the outcome.
What would you do if you were in OP’s shoes right now? Tell us in the comments.
Expert Opinion
This situation highlights a complex interplay of familial obligation and individual financial responsibility. The young woman's reluctance to co-sign a loan, especially after her father's previous stance against it, suggests a psychological conflict between loyalty to family and the need to protect her own financial stability. It’s not uncommon for people to feel torn in such situations, as they navigate the expectations of loved ones while also grappling with the consequences of financial risk.Therapeutic Insights & Recovery
Financial and emotional insights reveal that navigating family financial requests requires careful consideration. Experts like Dr. Jennifer Caudle emphasize the importance of open communication about financial boundaries and responsibilities.
By fostering transparency, families can minimize misunderstandings that often lead to conflict. Establishing a foundation of financial literacy and emotional support can empower family members to make informed decisions, ultimately leading to healthier financial dynamics.
