Single Mom Lies to BF About Her Son's Father, Feels Guilty Later and Seeks Advice as She Doesn't Want to Lose Him

An ancient myth says that frogs will drag down other frogs that are attempting to escape a pot of boiling water. That's probably folklore, but the dynamic is true, as there will always be people in everyone's life who oppose, intimidate, and undermine the chance for personal growth.

We can reasonably refer to this general group of people as "toxic," since they may be resentful of your development for a variety of reasons. Maybe they fear that if you become too successful, you won't be in their lives anymore.

Perhaps they believe that your progress highlights their own inadequacies, or maybe the thought of change simply scares them. The consequences, which might include brutality, manipulation, resentment, and wrath, are more significant than the causes.

The OP entered into a relationship with a toxic person and became pregnant by him. Throughout the OP's entire pregnancy, she was physically, emotionally, and verbally abused.

He even threatened her and her son's lives, so the OP made the decision not to include him in her son’s life. She left while pregnant, and her ex has never met their son.

When the OP's son was five months old, she reconnected with someone from her past, and she never thought it would really go anywhere at the time. When he asked about her son’s father, the OP told him that he had died because she was too embarrassed to confess the truth.

Now, the OP is feeling guilty about it and doesn't know what to do.

The OP Kicks Off Her Story

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He Has Expressed His Desire to Eventually Take Up the Role as a Father Figure

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The Impact of Lies on Relationships

When individuals lie about significant aspects of their lives, such as parentage, it often stems from fear of judgment and the desire to protect themselves. Research from Stanford University indicates that lying can be a coping mechanism for managing anxiety about relationship stability and acceptance.

This behavior can create a significant emotional burden, leading to feelings of guilt and shame, as seen in this woman's case.

The Reddit Post Got Hundreds of Comments, and Here Are a Bunch of Them

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It's Better Than Finding Out from Someone Else

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The emotional toll of such lies can erode trust and intimacy in a relationship. A study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology reveals that when individuals conceal important truths, they often experience heightened anxiety and fear of discovery, which can lead to compulsive behaviors.

This guilt can become overwhelming, prompting individuals to seek advice on how to navigate the situation.

The OP Should Tell Him Soon

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This Redditor Is Looking at the Whole Thing from Another Angle

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The OP Left This Update Later On

I told him. He didn’t break up with me, but he was disappointed that I lied to him. He said that he understands where I came from and that I’m a good mother, and he will always make sure I am protected.He is kind of standoffish right now (I just told him 10 minutes ago), but that is understandable. I hope that one day I can earn his trust back. He’s a great man.

This Redditor Reveals One of Their Greatest Fears

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The OP Shouldn't Hide Anything Else from the BF

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Navigating Honesty in Relationships

Honesty is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, and addressing the root cause of the lie is essential. Research from the University of California, Berkeley emphasizes that open communication can help rebuild trust and improve relational dynamics.

When individuals disclose hidden truths, it allows for emotional processing and fosters intimacy, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

The OP Needs to Tell Him Soon

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Here's What the OP Needs to Do

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To move forward, it’s advisable for her to consider discussing her feelings with her partner. A structured approach to revealing the truth—perhaps with the help of a therapist—can ease the process and reduce anxiety.

Engaging in these conversations with compassion and honesty can ultimately strengthen their bond.

Part of the Reason So Many People Hide It

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This Redditor Has Been Where the OP Is

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Many Redditors were of the opinion that if the OP's BF is a decent man, he won't focus on the fact that the OP lied to him, but rather on why she lied. Also, he'll be there to give the OP the much-needed support, as it makes complete sense that the OP wouldn't want to get too personal given that she wasn't as close to him when she told him two months prior.

We're happy the OP came clean and that everything is still intact.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the complexities of honesty within relationships. Fear of judgment often leads individuals to conceal important truths, which can create a cycle of guilt and anxiety.

Addressing these issues openly is vital for fostering a deeper connection.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, the emotional weight of lies can significantly impact relationships. It's crucial for individuals to confront their fears and communicate openly to foster understanding and rebuild trust.