Sitters, Sleepovers, And Unexpected Stand Against Gender Bias — Redditor Refuses To Share Their "Childcare Unicorn"

A Redditor shares custody of their 9-year-old son, Caleb, who was diagnosed with ODD and ADHD at five. His behavior was so extreme that he was removed from summer camp and went through multiple sitters before he even turned six.

With both parents working full-time, reliable childcare felt impossible. That changed a few summers ago when they found their “unicorn sitter,” Mike.

Under Mike’s care, Caleb transformed—becoming calmer, more polite, and far more social. The OP describes Mike less as a babysitter and more as Caleb’s executive assistant.

The bond between them is genuine, supportive, and unlike anything they’d experienced with previous sitters. Earlier this year, Caleb became close friends with a classmate named Luke, and the boys planned a sleepover.

The arrangement seemed smooth until the OP mentioned that Mike would handle transportation and supervision. Luke’s mom immediately objected, saying she was uncomfortable with a male sitter.

What the OP first thought was a joke turned out to be her firm belief that it was “too weird” for a man to babysit. The OP respectfully shut down the playdate, pointing out that if she didn’t trust a male caregiver, she wouldn’t be comfortable with her son staying overnight at a single dad’s home either.

They also noted that no other parent had ever raised concerns about Mike, who occasionally works for other families. Weeks later, the OP ran into Luke’s mom again—this time, she asked if Mike could babysit for her since her sitter situation had fallen apart.

The OP was stunned by the sudden reversal, especially after she had implied male sitters were suspicious. They declined, emphasizing that Mike already worked for their family on those dates and that her new request wasn’t appropriate.

For the OP, the issue wasn’t gender—it was trust, consistency, and respect. Mike had proven himself invaluable to Caleb, and the OP had no intention of letting anyone jeopardize that stability.

Caleb and Mike have a friendship that goes beyond typical childcare boundaries, and the OP says it’s nothing short of magical.

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Here's the original post by Reddit user 'Top_Relation_6236'.

My ex and I share custody of our 9yo son Caleb. He had ODD and ADHD when he was 5. It was so bad that he got kicked out of summer camp and went through multiple sitters all before he was 6. His mom and I worked so being a SAHP wasn't an option. A few summers ago, we found our unicorn sitter- Mike. We have no idea Mike makes it work but he does. Caleb has been a different kid ever since Mike started working for us. He is so well-behaved, polite and social. Mike is like his best friend. We joke that Mike is Caleb's executive assistant. Earlier this year Caleb became friends with a classmate named Luke. They wanted a sleepover playdate and everything was good until we said that Mike would pick up both boys, bring them to my place, go to the pier and then back home to go to bed. Luke's mom flat out said she wasn't comfortable with a male sitter. I laughed because I thought she was joking. She wasn't. She said it was too weird for a male to babysit and wasn't cool with it. I said she didn't need to explain herself and there would be no playdates with our kids outside of school. She wasn't expecting that. I told her if she's not okay with a male caregiver then she probably wouldn't be okay with Luke spending the night at my place since I'm a single dad. I pointed out that she was the first parent to have a problem with this and Mike occasionally works for other families at the school. She was offended that I was offended. I ran into Luke's mom who said she needed a sitter for a couple of weeks as her old sitter quit and the new sitter wasn't free until mid-September. She then asked if Mike would be free. She even said she would need an overnight. I said you can't be serious. You said you didn't trust Mike and now you want him to watch your son so you can have a social life? I admit that it took guts to ask. I told her no, we will not share our nanny. You said that it was sus when a guy has a childcare job. She said she was joking and that Mike is a nice guy. I said I know he is but you can't use him. For the record, the days and times that she needed him are days where he is working for us. She would had paid him on top of what we pay but Mike would be at Luke's house or his place. My ex and I don't mind Mike double dipping on sitter fees by watching more than one kid because he can make a lot of money and Caleb gets a playdate. This was an exception where I did her a problem.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

revengeofthebiscuit

"Shouldn't Mike be the one deciding?"

PurpleMuskogee

"This woman is awful."

Amazing-Wave4704

Free Mike!

Pasta_Pasquale

"You don't own Mike, OP."

Love4Teaching

"It's like you think you own this guy."

BeneficialCitron3062

ESH.

shityplumber

"Luke’s mom sounds like a se8ist hag."

Cooterhawk

You can't loan out a human.

HousingItchy8561

YTA.

i_kill_plants2

What Mike does is none of your business.

Unrelated_gringo

Not cool.

Deleted user

"If I was Mike, I’d drop you as a client."

Ok_Start_2379

This is absurd.

K3Elisa

At the end of the day, the OP proved that trust, consistency, and a genuine bond matter far more than outdated ideas about who “should” care for children. Caleb’s life changed the moment Mike walked in, and some things—like a truly life-changing sitter—aren’t up for negotiation.