20 People Share Marriage Tips That May Sound A Bit Strange But Actually Work
“‘Just because’ flowers are the best kind of flowers.”
It is notable that millennials and younger generations are less likely than previous generations to have their own family when they reach the same age. We can confidently argue that marriage isn't the hottest topic among 23-38-year-olds right now, so it's only fair that they know so little about what it's like to start a family.
But, to be honest, starting a family is the easiest part - anyone can do it. Keeping a family and maintaining a healthy relationship and dynamic is very difficult.
A happy and healthy family is one of the most rewarding things you can have in life. But it takes work.
That's why we value it so much. Considering how challenging marriage can be, being able to smooth out a lot of knots is crucial.
And how do you do it? Well, it takes experience to learn that.
But we can tell you that it's not about the big things. Yes, it's the small things that can easily be fixed that can make or break a marriage.
Redditor u/thecountnotthesaint recently asked, “What random marriage advice sounded absurd but was actually spot-on helpful?” Married people quickly started sharing their advice and there are some real gems to be found.
We have selected 20 of the best and we know that you will find them helpful.
1. The problems doesn't stand a chance against the two of you...
“On our wedding day, my father-in-law said, ‘Always remember it’s the two of you against the problem, not you two against one another.’ This perspective is crucial for maintaining harmony in a relationship,” says Dr. Alexandra Solomon, relationship therapist and author. “When couples adopt this mindset, they can navigate disagreements more effectively and strengthen their bond.”“Focusing on this piece of advice has calmed a lot of arguments over the years,” adds Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, marriage therapist, emphasizing the importance of teamwork in resolving conflicts.2. Eat
“When an argument is brewing, stop and eat something. You may just be hungry.”3. Now vs. future
“Marry them for who they are now, not for who you hope they will become. Acceptance is key in a relationship.”— Dr. Alexandra Solomon, relationship therapist
4. Driving...
“Avoid criticizing each other’s driving; it can lead to unnecessary conflict and resentment.”— Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, marriage therapist
5. Sacrifices
“‘Never ask your partner to make a sacrifice for you that you wouldn’t make for them if the roles were reversed.”— Dr. Gary Chapman, marriage counselor
6. Choose your battles...
“Before engaging in a disagreement, consider if it’s truly significant. Ask yourself, ‘Will this matter a week from now?’”— Dr. Gary Chapman, marriage counselor
7. You also marry the family
“When you marry someone, you are not just marrying them; you are marrying their entire family and the dynamics that come with it.”— Dr. Terri Orbuch, relationship researcher and author
8. The little things that annoy you...
“‘The little things that annoy you now are the things you’ll miss one day.’ My stepmom recently passed away, and my dad told me this piece of advice that profoundly changed my attitude. The constant annoyances — leaving the toilet bowl up or not washing globs of toothpaste from the sink — are the things that will leave the biggest void. Don’t nag about the little things. Rather, embrace them.”9. Marry your best friend
“Marry your best friend — the person you enjoy having spontaneous conversations with, who captivates your interest, and who brings laughter into your life. Choose the one you can spend endless time with, who will stand by you in both challenging and joyful moments. That is truly ‘the one.’”—Dr. Ian Kerner, Sex Therapist
10. King-size bed
“My father always said that the best thing he and my mother did for their marriage was getting a king-sized bed. I always thought it was ridiculous advice until recently when my wife and I needed a new bed. We spent the extra money on a king, and I’ll be damned if that wasn’t one of the best decisions we have made. The extra room is amazing: We can snuggle or have some space, and when our kids try and get in bed, there’s enough room that no one is getting a foot to the face,” says Dr. Laura Berman, a renowned sex therapist and author, who emphasizes the importance of personal space in relationships. “Having a comfortable sleeping arrangement can significantly enhance intimacy and reduce stress in a marriage,” she notes on her website, drlauraberman.com.11. Best kind of flowers...
“‘Just because’ flowers are the best kind of flowers.” This sentiment is echoed by relationship expert Dr. Alexandra Solomon, who states, “Small, thoughtful gestures can significantly enhance emotional connection in a relationship.” Such spontaneous acts of kindness can help couples maintain a sense of romance and appreciation for one another.
12. Separate blankets
“Having separate blankets can enhance sleep quality for couples, allowing each person to find their own comfort without disturbing the other.”— Dr. Terri Orbuch, relationship researcher and author
13. Realistic expectations...
“The best advice I ever received is to maintain realistic expectations of each other. Unrealistic expectations often lead to disappointment and unhappiness.”— Dr. John Gottman, marriage researcher
14. Dirty dishes...
“My grandfather told me, ‘Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.’ This advice highlights the importance of teamwork in a relationship. Engaging in daily chores together can foster communication and connection, allowing couples to bond over shared tasks.”— Dr. Laura Berman, sex therapist
15. Going to bed angry is not wrong
“It is ok to go to bed angry. While many people advise against it, sometimes a good night's sleep can provide the clarity needed to resolve an argument.”
“Taking time apart to reflect can lead to a more productive conversation later,” explains Dr. John Gottman, marriage researcher.
16. Dating phase...
“If you’re doing marriage right, the ‘dating phase’ of your relationship never ends.”
—Dr. Esther Perel, couples therapist and author
17. Have fun
“The advice I was given is: ‘If you can go grocery shopping with your person and have a great time, you have yourself a keeper.’ I’ve been married for 15 years, and I give this same advice to other couples.”“Marriage is all about making the best of mundane experiences. After years of being together, life becomes predictable.”“You’ll need to keep things fun, regardless of what you’re doing,” says Dr. Alexandra Solomon, relationship therapist. “Finding joy in everyday activities is essential for maintaining a strong connection.”18. Other people's opinions don't matter...
“Don’t worry about what other people think is ‘normal.’ In my experience as a relationship expert, I’ve found that embracing what works for you and your partner is crucial for a successful marriage.”“Conforming to societal standards can create unnecessary pressure; focus on your unique bond instead.”— Dr. Gary Chapman, marriage counselor
19. Always be kind...
“My dad always said to be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe especially if you’re not feeling it,” reflects Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, a renowned marriage therapist. “Kindness can be a powerful tool in maintaining a healthy relationship, even during tough times.”20. Sleeping
“It’s perfectly acceptable to sleep in separate beds or even separate rooms if that arrangement suits your relationship. A lack of sleep can hinder your ability to be a supportive partner, especially if snoring or differing work schedules disrupt your rest.”— Dr. Esther Perel, couples therapist and author
Choose someone you like as a person and who you love spending time with. You will be spending a significant amount of time with the person you marry.
And once you find them, try to implement the advice you got from our Redditors. That's the best way to make a marriage work.
