Men Share The Double Standards They Have Experienced That They Believe Women Never Have To Deal With

Gender double standards still show up in the smallest, most ordinary moments, and people notice when they are treated differently because of them. In this Reddit thread, one user asked men to share the double standards they have experienced that women often do not seem to face, and the replies quickly turned into a long list of frustrating, awkward, and sometimes painful examples.

The conversation covers everything from parenting and public perception to dating, appearance, emotions, and safety. Some of the comments are funny in a bitter way, while others point to situations that clearly left a mark. The responses make one thing obvious, these double standards are still shaping how people are seen every day.

Here is what Reddit had to say.

1. "Kissing children. Got a rude awakening when I was in public with my nephew."

He was being cute (as always), so I gave him a kiss on his forehead and cheeks.Someone “politely” told me that it was weird for me to give him affection like that, and I was just shocked. I felt like if it were a girl, they wouldn’t have been reprimanded for this.I don’t care what the public thinks, though; my nephew and my new niece are getting all the hugs and kisses from me, the cooler uncle.unsplash

2. "Pretty sure that wouldn't have flown if genders were reversed."

At a bar I used to go to, there was a girl, a total drunk, who would always sneak up behind me and grab my crotch. Once, she even licked my ear while doing it. I wasn't amused in the slightest, but everyone else seemed to think that was pretty f*cking funny. Reddit

3. "Not quite what the question is asking, but it irritates me as a father"

When I take care of my daughter, doing simple things like feeding her, skipping down the sidewalk, or talking nonsense, people feel the need to tell me I'm "such a great father" and "wish there were more men like you." Like... okay, you obviously have sh**ty people in your life. I'm doing my job, and it irritates my wife because she does the same things, and everyone just thinks it's normal.pexels

Parenting comes up fast in this thread.

4. "Interacting with children in public."

I.E. a lost child; if a man tries to help, he is perceived as creepy at best and predatory at worst, while a female is just seen as caring and compassionate.unsplash

5. "Somehow when it comes to kids, the mom is more important"

One of my good friends is having a rough breakup after his girlfriend of over 10 years went on a retreat with her friends from college. She slept with over 10 guys, got pregnant, and did not know who the father was. She became aggressive when my friend tried to reason with her about the kids (they have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old) and hit him hard enough in the face to chip a tooth.When they separated, he filed for custody, but the judge ruled in favor of her, even after blaming the sex vacation on the copious amounts of drugs she used while at the retreat. She seemed like a better parent to have sole custody over a boring dude who has a stable job, loves his kids more than anything, and, even after this whole ordeal, did not want to destroy his ex for ruining his life.unsplash

6. "My high school girlfriend physically attacked me the day I broke up with her."

In retrospect, there were red flags, but at the time, it was completely unexpected.She clawed at my face and sank her teeth into the inside of my thigh next to the groin. I had to punch her arm with all my strength to get her to let go of me. It was horrible.With the exception of my mom, no one I told gave the slightest sh*t about what had happened. In fact, I had to spend weeks concerned she would tell someone I had victimized her.She left threatening voicemails and stalked me at work for a couple of months afterward. I also got a series of mysterious flat tires.Again, no one cares. You're a man, and you need to look after yourself.JEREMY LONG HM

7. "I want to be the little spoon, idc that I’m 6’2”. I just wanna be cuddled from behind like I’m in a little cocoon of happiness."

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8. "Women I know will often say they don’t like my beard. If I said to a lady I didn’t like something about their appearance, that would be awful."

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9. "Calling a child cute."

A child was being very playful in the store, and I (19M) mentioned to my friends, "What a cute kid," and they all called me creepy. She was literally playing with a store product and stuffed animal, talking in a baby voice. If you think it's creepy to acknowledge that is cute, then it's not me who's acting creepy.espirituviajero

10. "I read a newspaper once that had two articles about teachers having sex with students."

The female teacher was on the front page. Her picture was a scantily clad, sexy Facebook profile pic. The headline read, “HOT FOR TEACHER?” The male teacher's article was on page 8, showing his gnarly mugshot, and the headline said something along the lines of “sick child molester deserves a fate worse than death.”pxfuel

Some of these replies get uncomfortable fast.

11. "Hitting your partner."

I'm female (couldn't help but post), and I'm so f*cking angry that girls are given a slap on the wrist for being abusive. But if a guy does it, everyone loses their mind.tickernews

12. "I feel sorry for single dads and gay couples with children."

Last Christmas, I went to Waddesdon in Oxfordshire (UK) with my family to see the Christmas lights. When we got to the toilets, I found that they had changed both male and female toilets to be female and moved men to plastic construction site-style portaloos. These had no lights or running water. I was looking to change my infant son's nappy but couldn’t because baby changing facilities were in the toilets. When I complained, I was told that one of the portaloos had a plastic shelf I could have used and that it was a “practical solution to reducing queuing for the female toilets” because they tried adding toilets for everyone, but the women would rather queue up for the real toilets, so their solution was to force men to use them. Just imagine if they had done this the other way around?!wikimedia

13. "Girls would grab my butt all the time in high school, even a girl that was underage when I was 18 lol. If I grabbed her butt, I’d risk jail time."

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14. "Not a guy, but I’ve noticed women are literally allowed to flash people in public or sexually harass people, and they almost never face consequences."

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15. "Having zero interest in sport"

I'm often asked which team I support by other men who are genuinely surprised that I couldn't care less.I've worked in an office where all the social events geared towards the men in the office involved sports. I didn't really want to go on a golf day. I can't play golf and didn't want to go along just to make sure that Dave from accounts didn't end up being last like he does every year. I'd rather have joined the ladies who decided to have a spa day for their social event. A massage and hot tub are far more appealing than chasing after a ball, but I couldn't be bothered with the grief I'd have gotten if I'd joined them, and I don't think the ladies wanted a man coming on their pamper day. So I ended up staying at the office and answering the phones.pexels

16. "Fathers often don’t get custody of their kids in court"

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17. "Sexual assault."

Specifically when it’s unwarranted touching/groping from girls on a night out or “just having fun.”If a guy does it, he’s justifiably vilified, but the guy is usually told/asked if they’re gay or a wuss for not wanting to be touched by a girl, even if it’s unwanted.unsplash

Dating and money are another sore spot.

It’s the same kind of petty pull-and-push as refusing Sarah’s unequal dinner tab proposal.

18. "Being broke. Totally fine for a girl to be struggling, but try dating as a broke guy. You're gonna have a bad time."

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19. "When I was overweight, I wore a hoodie and sweats to the gym to not only tune everyone else out but to hide my body from people who might judge me."

A girl I knew in high school posted a story on Facebook about how she was getting unwanted looks from guys at the gym... not harassment, not catcalling, but men were LOOKING AT HER (keep in mind, I knew her, and this is a girl who worked out in what could legally qualify as underwear), and she wanted to know how she could fix this. I suggested she cover herself up because that's what I did to keep people from looking at me and to help tune people out... imagine how that went down with all her other Facebook peers.pexels

20. "Liking fruity/sweet alcoholic drinks."

I like them and some whiskeys. Can’t stand beer; it makes my stomach turn after half a bottle, but I can handle a few fruity/sweet drinks with no problem.pexels

21. "Crying, domestic violence, and sexual assault"

If a man does it, he's a wuss, an abuser, and a rapist.If a woman does it, she's brave, strong, and has a right to do what she wants to you because "Women have been oppressed long enough. Give us a pass" (someone really said that once).There are way more double standards, like working in a kindergarten or sitting on a park bench with a kids' playground nearby. Men will be seen as pedophiles, while women are very normal in that field, completely ignoring that anyone can be a pedophile.unsplash

22. "Having my court-ordered access to my child blocked by her mother for literally any reason at all, with zero consequences."

If I block access to the same child for the female parent, suddenly it’s kidnapping, and my photo would be all over the news.gylfamilylawfirm

23. "Talking about how you’re feeling"

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24. "Liking cute things."

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25. "Being short."

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26. "If a girl gets drunk and sleeps with a guy, she can claim she was taken advantage of."

If the same guy is also drunk, he can't say the same thing. People will typically believe the girl in that situation.pexels

27. "Taking my bro (16 years difference) to a pool or an amusement park... even if my stepmom is there, weird looks."

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28. "Hetero dude here, went shopping with the kids today and saw a gorgeous pink pearl new Accord and had to park next to it to get a closer look."

A woman was getting into it and just had a confused look when I told her how incredibly awesome I thought it looked.(NOT THE ACTUAL PHOTO) via Pinterest

29. "Stalking or being 'creepy' in general seems to be fine if you are a girl, but not if you are a guy."

I have a girlfriend who openly admits to having folders on her phone filled with photos of random people, like her male teachers from university, and I have never heard anybody say it's inappropriate.Pexels

30. "Obese women are called plus-size and glorified, while obese men are called fat a*s or other degrading terms."

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31. Gaslighting

For some reason, it feels like any woman can gaslight on a whim, and guys have to take everything at face value due to the fact that it is frowned upon to never give them the benefit of the doubt.studiousguy

We need to unite as a society and get rid of double standards regarding gender once and for all. Many people struggle every single day because of double standards, and it's about time we finally eliminate them and achieve peace.

For a similar “fairness” fight, read about insisting on an equal bill split despite ordering less.