"My Father Was Horrified, My Mother Was Laughing Hysterically, And I Was In Love." Men Share Their Stories About The Exact Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Partner
50 stories to make you believe in love
Each relationship has its own set of memorable milestones, no matter how big or small. Milestones like the first date, first kiss, first fight, the first time saying “I love you,” and moving in together.
It’s these steps that help create a deep and loving bond between you and your significant other and lead the way to the start of a new chapter in life. Being in a committed, nurturing relationship can be as nerve-racking as it is exciting.
It’s an adventure finding the person you want to settle down and spend the rest of your life with. It can take a lot of hard work, patience, courage, and trust in yourself and others to find your “soulmate.”
While I recognize that long-term monogamy or marriage isn’t the be-all and end-all relationship goal for a good amount of people, it is more often than not the goal for the majority. Finding your one true love is a story that has been shared with us since we were children.
So it makes sense that romantics look forward to that special moment when they know that they have found The One. To add to the magic of finding that special someone, there isn’t really any information on HOW or WHEN you’ll find them.
It’s that cliche of “You’ll know when you know.” Completely unhelpful but it is really not a one-size-fits-all sort of equation.
We were inspired by an older AskReddit thread posted by u/omg1223 who posed their question to the married men of Reddit. They asked husbands to share the moment with their now wives that made them think "Yup, I'm asking this girl to marry me."
The thread was filled with over nearly 10,000 comments, ranging from sweet, heartfelt stories to hilarious and even heartbreaking stories. We collected the top 50 responses to share with you today.
Keep scrolling to read the replies for yourself!
What moment with your future wife made you think "Yup, I'm asking this girl to marry me."?
omg12231. He knew life wouldn't be worth living without her
have to post this for my dad.my parents met 39 years ago last Friday, in a lineup for a movie. my moms friend knew my dad from another friend and introduced them. My dad was known as a 'wild guy', and my mom was seriously considering becoming a nun. naturally, they started dating.couple months later, my mom found a lump in her breast. my dads aunt died of breast cancer very young, and it just freaked him out I guess. My mother had the lump removed and thank god it was benign, but my dad had already rushed out and bought an engagement ring.He always claims he knew from the moment he saw her, but a couple of glasses of wine and he will tell you that he saw what life could be like without her, and it wasn't worth living. they never fight, they always work together, and my moms heart still skips a beat when he comes home from work.
giphy2. After experiencing an adverse side effect of a new medication
She invited me to her apartment to cook me dinner. On my way, I picked up a prescription and promptly took the first pill. Five minutes before dinner was ready, I had an adverse effect and passed out on her couch. Woke up and she was gone. Figured she went to the bar across the street we go to. Nope. As I was getting ready to leave, she returned with a fresh set of clothes and toiletries for me for work the next morning. She walked 9 blocks up the hill to my apartment, got me everything I needed for the next day, and came back. This was our second date.
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The Journey to Commitment
The moment individuals realize they want to marry often reflects a blend of emotional connection and personal growth. Research in relationship psychology indicates that these pivotal moments can serve as catalysts for deeper commitment. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family suggests that such realizations often arise from experiences that highlight compatibility and shared values.
Understanding these moments can provide insights into the dynamics of romantic relationships and the factors that contribute to lasting partnerships.
Understanding Romantic Commitment
The stories shared about the moment when individuals realized they wanted to marry their partners highlight a fascinating psychological phenomenon known as the 'commitment threshold.' Dr. James W. Pennebaker, a psychologist at the University of Texas, notes that this moment often comes from a combination of emotional connection and cognitive recognition of shared values.
These experiences underscore the importance of emotional intimacy in romantic relationships, leading to profound realizations about commitment.
The Psychology of Love and Commitment
Understanding the moments that lead to commitment can provide insights into relationship dynamics.
Research in attachment theory emphasizes that individuals often seek partners who fulfill their emotional needs, leading to moments of realization about love.
This can manifest in profound emotional experiences that are highly memorable and significant.
3. After an unintended eavesdrop
I left my favorite CD in her car (Dream Theater's Scenes From a Memory). She wasn't a huge fan, but put up with it whenever I listened.One day I was on the phone with her while she was driving, and we said good-bye but she forgot to hang up.I waited a few seconds and I heard her singing along. As Dr. Gary Chapman, marriage counselor and author of "The 5 Love Languages," states, "Sharing experiences, even through music, can deepen emotional connections in relationships" (5lovelanguages.com).
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4. At first sight, but still took a while before they even started dating
I don't even care how cliché it is; I knew the first moment I saw her.It was this super weird feeling of intuition that I'd never felt before, and that never went away. It was like "yep, you're going to marry her someday. In the meantime, you should figure yourself out because you're kind of a giant tool right now." We didn't even date until ~5 years later--dated other people and had our own lives--and during that whole time she was just this little seed waiting patiently in the back of my subconsciousness.Marriage has been at times euphoric and at times agonizing. Right now it's better than ever. Our second baby will be born next week :)
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5. She started out as "one of the guys" then turned into the perfect partner
My wife and I were good friends before we became romantically involved. She was "one of the guys," and it wasn't unusual to roughhouse a little (this sounds romantic in retrospect, but it really wasn't at the time). According to Dr. Ian Kerner, a renowned sex therapist, "Friendship is the foundation of a strong romantic relationship, as it fosters trust and understanding." Dr. Ian Kerner emphasizes the importance of shared laughter in relationships, stating, "Humor can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories." You know that thing you used to do to your sister when you were like 12, where you'd pin her down and threaten to spit on her by letting the spit hang out of your mouth, then sucking it back up at the last minute? (Dear God, I hope I'm not the only one who did this.) Well, I did that to my friend-now-wife, except I waited too long and I accidentally spit directly in her eye. Instead of being furious like a normal person, she busted out laughing. We've been married 12 years.
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These stories of love reveal the profound impact of vulnerability in relationships. Emotional vulnerability is essential for fostering intimacy and connection, as highlighted by research in attachment theory. Studies show that couples who share their fears and dreams are more likely to develop secure attachments, which can ultimately lead to a desire for marriage.
Encouraging partners to embrace vulnerability can strengthen their relationships and deepen their emotional bonds.
Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicates that couples who share pivotal moments of vulnerability often report higher relationship satisfaction. This shared emotional experience can serve as a catalyst for deepening the bond and solidifying the intention to marry.
The stories reveal how these moments can vary greatly, reflecting the diverse paths individuals take toward commitment.
The narratives shared in this article suggest that love often involves a mix of vulnerability and connection.
Studies indicate that shared experiences contribute to relationship satisfaction and emotional bonding.
In fact, creating shared memories can enhance feelings of closeness and mutual understanding.
6. When they had the conversation to be exclusive
We had gone on two or three dates before I asked her to "be my girlfriend" and I knew the instant she said yes that we would be married one day. Her eyes just lit up like nothing else when I told her I wanted to make things official. It has felt like I can read her mind since the day I met her. I know when she's happy, sad, upset, tired, annoyed, etc. I knew a few days before she asked me to move in with her that she was going to ask. We have been in sync pretty constantly, and I'm incredibly lucky to be married to someone with whom I'm so in tune. We dated for three years, but I knew from day one that we were going to be married.I don't really believe in 'soulmates' or anything too mystical. However, if there was anyone who could change my mind about that, it's my wife.
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7. When he knew he could live without her, but didn't want to
This isn't flashy, it's not going to make an amazing Hollywood movie.The moment I KNEW I was going to ask her to marry me, was the moment I accepted that I could live without her. I just didn't want to. It was that moment that I recognized being with her was a mutual choice, not a dependency. I had the self-awareness to know I could lead a happy life. But shit, this woman made everything happier.I am one of the most genuinely lucky people, I know. I am not the wealthiest, best looking, or most popular. But I deeply, deeply love my wife. She is, the center of my universe. It's not because she's given me this Hollywood fairy-tale of what marriage is " supposed to be like". It's because she's given me something real, something tangible, and something I can fight for. Through the ups and downs, the arguments and laughter, the sickness and health - I realize that I may not always like her, but I deeply love her. And that love is not based on ONE thing, but all things. And it's amazing when you see the woman you love day after day, year after year, and you just keep seeing the same person you first met.I sh*t you not. Every single day, I have THIS revelation. No matter how amazing or frustrating of a day I have. Every day I would ask her to marry me and every day I would marry her again.Wife - if you ever read this. Here is another confession I make before reddit. The internet is forever.As is my love for you.Update just because - tonight I went home and hugged my wife. And I held on as long as she let me. She smiled, swatted my butt and said "good game!" Then she started humming while holding our kid. Humming is how my wife expresses a moment of bliss. To all the people that took the time to read my post. To those kind enough to comment. I humbly offer you my deepest thanks. You, people of Reddit, gave my wife some happiness today. You own that. You made my day. Thank you.
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8. Date night turned sleep-over in a park
On our 4th date we got a cheap pizza and went to a park in October up north. We fell asleep and woke up freezing at 2 in the morning. Instead of getting up and leaving we just held each other and went back asleep for another 2 hours.I knew from that moment I was gonna marry this girl!Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist states, "Love is a powerful emotion that can be felt in the simplest of moments, often leading to profound commitments." This sentiment resonates with many who find love in unexpected places.
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The Role of Shared Experiences
Shared experiences often play a critical role in commitment. According to research in social psychology, couples who engage in meaningful activities together report higher levels of satisfaction and connection. The moments shared during these activities can serve as strong foundations for future commitment, as they create lasting memories and deepen emotional ties.
Encouraging couples to engage in shared experiences can enhance their relationship dynamics and foster a sense of partnership.
The Role of Emotional Intimacy
Emotional intimacy plays a crucial role in relationship development. According to Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist and founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, couples who cultivate emotional closeness are more likely to navigate challenges successfully.
The shared experiences that lead to the desire for marriage often include moments of vulnerability and mutual support, reinforcing the bond between partners.
Cultural Perspectives on Love
Different cultures have varying definitions of love and commitment, which can influence personal experiences.
According to cross-cultural psychology, these differences shape individuals' expectations and expressions of love.
Understanding these cultural nuances can enhance empathy and connection within relationships.
9. After she defended him from an aggressive woman
I stepped on a girl's foot at a festival. I turned and apologized sincerely, and the girl accepted my apology. Her drunk friend, however, decided to start screaming at me and threatened to assault me, saying "I'm a girl, you can't hit back." When she shoved me, my future wife came out of nowhere and punched her so hard her shoe came off. I said, "yup, I'm marrying this woman." According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, "Love is a powerful emotion that can lead us to make quick decisions about our partners." This moment was a clear indication of the strength of our bond.Edit: my wife isn't the one whose foot I stepped on. Should have worded it better. She and I had been casually dating for 8 months, and she was off looking for our friends when I stepped on the girl's foot.
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10. A long-distance relationship surprise made him realize she made him feel whole
We had a long distance relationship. We lived 3 to 4 hours away from each other the entire time we dated. We had met at a concert and traded emails and MSN info (classic). We emailed and chatted everyday, sometimes for hours. We poured our hearts out about our fears and dreams. I'd go visit her every other weekend, and she'd come once and a while my way.About 3 or 4 months into doing this, I'm at home chilling at home playing some game in my room. My dad calls up the stairs that I got a package in the mail. So I, confused, come walking down the stairs. And there she was. She came up to visit as a surprise. Without thinking, I instinctively ran to her and hugged her and lifted her and spun her a bit. And I felt in my heart a wholeness. Like holding her filled in something I was missing. I knew then that I never would let her go (metaphorically speaking). Been married over 9 years, and I still get that feeling when I hug and kiss her.
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11. A coffee date that stretched on for hours
It was our first date. It was the last day of classes before Thanksgiving break, she was supposed to drive home after class. It was just a coffee date that stretched out for several hours. It was just comfortable. Conversation flowed. I wasn't worried about saying anything dumb or silly. We were completely ourselves. It culminated in a shy kiss in her car before she left to drive home.Her Mom knew why she was late, just by her mood. I went back to my apartment and talked to my roommate. I told him there was something special about this girl. We'll be celebrating our 10 year anniversary this summer.
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The emotional highs and lows experienced in relationships can significantly influence the decision to commit. Research in emotional psychology shows that intense emotional experiences can lead to greater clarity about one's feelings and desires. In moments of joy or even struggle, partners often discover deeper insights into their relationship, which can solidify their commitment to one another.
Encouraging couples to reflect on these emotional experiences can help them appreciate the journey of their relationship.
To foster emotional intimacy, couples can engage in shared activities that promote connection, such as open conversations about dreams and fears. Research suggests that couples who practice vulnerability with each other are better equipped to face relationship challenges together.
Creating traditions or rituals that celebrate their relationship can also enhance their emotional bond and solidify their commitment to one another.
It's also essential to consider the psychological concept of the 'honeymoon phase' in relationships.
Research shows that this phase, characterized by intense passion and excitement, often precedes the development of deeper emotional connections.
Recognizing the transient nature of this phase can help partners navigate the complexities of long-term relationships.
12. A fresh fluffernutter helped him realize he'd never find anyone better
While making rice crispy treats, my future wife snuck a spoonful of the melted marshmallow and made me a fresh peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich without me noticing. When I took the first bite, I knew I'd never find anyone better. As relationship expert Dr. Esther Perel notes, "The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives," emphasizing the profound impact of such small, loving gestures.
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13. She held space for him after a traumatic experience
In my first week as licensed as a paramedic, I had a two-year-old die on me. When I got off work, I drove to my girlfriend's place and told her about my day. I was pretty numb at the time, trying to process this child's death despite all my efforts. As Dr. Sue Johnson, a couples therapy pioneer, states, "Emotional responsiveness is the key to a secure bond." I laid down on her couch, and she just wrapped her arms around me and laid with me for 3-4 hours as I tried to process. She didn't push or ask lots of questions, just laid there quietly and held me. I slowly was able to talk my way through it, and then the tears started. She cried with me. I felt the whole world was so dark and ugly, but she was my island of light. Started saving up for a ring that week, and asked her to marry me 6 months later. In September we celebrate our 5-year wedding anniversary. I'm still a paramedic, and she's still my island.
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14. She could hold her own with playful banter
This may be a bit unusual, but the way she could toss an insult around. I tend to tease playfully, and she could always toss banter right back. We ended up insulting each other so much that my friend had to assure his girlfriend that we were only kidding and didn't hate each other. It was great.
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Navigating Relationship Milestones
Reaching relationship milestones often triggers profound realizations about love and commitment. A study published in the American Journal of Family Psychology highlights that milestones serve as benchmarks for evaluating relationship satisfaction and future aspirations. Couples who celebrate these milestones together tend to cultivate a shared vision for their future, strengthening their bond.
Encouraging partners to acknowledge and celebrate their milestones can enhance their commitment and emotional connection.
Creating Lasting Bonds
To foster lasting connections, couples should prioritize communication and mutual understanding.
Engaging in regular discussions about feelings and expectations can strengthen emotional bonds, paving the way for deeper intimacy.
Additionally, participating in shared activities can enhance relationship satisfaction by reinforcing feelings of partnership and support.
15. After a drunken encounter
Hot redhead on St. Patrick's Day drinking Guinness out of a pitcher. That's the girl for me! I introduced myself, spent the rest of the day with her, and stumbled to a buddy's who lived close to the bar, telling him I met the girl I was going to marry. Relationship expert Dr. Harville Hendrix emphasizes that "the moment you recognize a deep connection with someone, it can feel like a spark that ignites a lifelong commitment." It's been over 20 years since that day.
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16. The effort she took to check up on him after his wisdom teeth removal
I was 18 and just gotten out of a dental appointment where 2 of my wisdom teeth were pulled out. I was drooling, stains of blood all over my shirt and it was the summertime. My girlfriend at the time was 16; she took what little money she had from her allowance, bought me a box of ice cream, and biked 25 minutes just to deliver that box of ice cream and see how I was doing. With blood stains all over, she still gave me that look of love and planted a kiss on me. As Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, states, "Love is not just a feeling; it's a biological drive that can lead to lifelong partnerships" (helenfisher.com). That was almost 20 years ago, and I still can't imagine having a happier life without her in it.
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17. When she showed enough care and affection to his child that they began calling her "Mama"
When my son called her "Mama." My ex left us high and dry when my son was 4 months old. As Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher, notes, "Children often form strong attachments to caregivers, which can be pivotal in their emotional development." You can learn more about her insights on relationships at terriorbuch.com.
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Understanding the role of individual growth in relationships is crucial for fostering long-term commitment. Research indicates that as individuals grow and evolve, their relationships must adapt to accommodate these changes. Couples who support each other's personal growth often report higher satisfaction and commitment levels, as they create a dynamic of mutual respect and encouragement.
Encouraging partners to nurture their individual growth can enhance their relationship stability.
18. After witnessing her tenacity
I lived in a half decent apartment in Hell's Kitchen in NYC. The place had a tub that was massively stained when I moved in. Every chick I "dated" tried to get that stain out. This was in the 90s when I was young and single in NYC... so that means plenty of women took a shot at it.My future wife came out of the bathroom one day and nonchalantly said, "cleaned the tub"... I ran into the bathroom and couldn't believe my eyes. "That was my Sword in the Stone! How did you do it???""Meh. I don't give up."Edit: I've now asked her how she did it. She claims it was nothing more than Ajax and bleach. It was orange, so we're thinking an iron stain. Sorry there isn't a more magickal answer. But I guess the truth is her resolve dissolves all else.
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19. Her consideration of his needs
I was driving us home from a golf tournament for couples. We stopped to get some lunch and as I was driving she handed me a perfectly unwrapped burger that I could eat one handed while she sat cross legged next to me.Not sure why, but I just felt so loved, nurtured, and happy in that moment. According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, relationship therapist, "Moments of care and thoughtfulness in a relationship can significantly deepen emotional intimacy." Now that's sort of our thing. We love to travel and no matter where we stop to eat she will always make sure I am able to eat in a convenient way.Something about watching the road while your now wife sets a napkin on your leg, puts the fries face up in the cup holder, and gets the burger ready to go. We've been together 10 years, married for two.
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20. After she made him a perfectly cooked steak
She insisted on cooking me steak on one of our first few dates. It was the best steak I'd ever had. I ended up drunkenly confessing my love soon afterward. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, "The moments we share over meals can significantly deepen our emotional connection." For more insights on relationships, visit his website at gottman.com.
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The Importance of Communication
Effective communication is key to navigating the complexities of love and commitment. Studies in relationship psychology emphasize the importance of expressing feelings and expectations openly. Couples who practice honest communication are more likely to build trust and understanding, which are essential for long-term commitment.
Encouraging couples to engage in open dialogue can help them navigate challenges and enhance their emotional intimacy.
21. When she wasn't afraid to be herself
My dad told me he knew he wanted to marry my mom when the McDonald's opened in Moscow after the USSR crumbled and she ate 6 Big Macs in a row
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22. The realization that life would be unbearable without her
My best friend and I took forever to realize that we each were infatuated with one another. Embarrassingly so.Finally, we started dating and we moved in together. Everything was perfect. I've never been big on the idea of marriage, but laying in bed together one night I realized that the thought of not having her in my life was unbearable and I didn't want to ever let her slip away. We had only been together for about 6 weeks at that point, but I knew I wanted her to be mine.She died a couple weeks ago, and I never got to ask her to marry me.Edit: Wow. I never expected nor really desired this much attention. I just wanted to vent a little while I was on break at work. Honestly I have some anxiety about all of this attention. I'll try and get back to everyone.To answer the most common question, she died in a car accident. I don't want to post a lot of detail publicly, but if anyone really gives a sh*t, PM and ask and I'll share more.It's been really hard to deal with this. I cannot put into words how important she was to me. For someone like myself, if the username didn't give it away, I don't particularly enjoy most people. She was my absolute favorite. The best person in my life. The joy we had for each other was immeasurable and everyone who knew us together knew we were soul mates. That's where all the feelings of pointlessness are stemming from.Anyway, I could ramble on forever. I'll try and get some replies knocked out. Thank you for listening to a random internet stranger try and express his pain.
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23. "It wasn't about how great we were when things were good, it was about how perfect she was when things were bad."
Things were going really well, and I was saying to myself "If this keeps up, I think next summer I'll pop the question."Then, my mother had a stroke. We were all sitting in the waiting area outside the ICU, because only 2 people were allowed in at a time. It was my now-wife's birthday, and a Wednesday, and she didn't hesitate to take the day off to sit with me and my family.I went to visit my father at home, and she came with me. Her Italian instincts kicked it, and she brought a load of groceries and a lasagna with her.My father was a mess at the hospital, and it fell on me and my siblings to speak with the doctors and make plans.I would get home, and pour myself some bourbon. She made me dinner, and just sat with me while I silently sobbed.It wasn't about how great we were when things were good, it was about how perfect she was when things were bad.I bought the ring 2 months later.Edit: Forgot - this all happened just before Christmas. Since my mother was still in the hospital Christmas Eve, I got a last minute reservation to my father's favorite restaurant. GF was with her family, but we got to the table to find a note that she had called ahead to buy us 2 bottles of wine.
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Ultimately, these stories of love illustrate the multifaceted journey toward commitment. By understanding the emotional, psychological, and relational factors at play, couples can cultivate deeper connections and navigate the complexities of their relationships. This awareness can lead to more fulfilling partnerships and a shared vision for the future.
24. After a year of never spending a day apart, he knew he wanted it that way forever
For the most part, it was the fact that the very day we started dating she was staying at my house, not quite living there, just hanging out forever til that turned into living with me. Never thought to much about it til a year later and realize that we have never spent a day away from each other. Married Sept. 2006, and still going strong.
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25. While taking care of her during a nasty bout of food poisoning
I've been married just over a week, so I've been telling this story a lot lately.We were three days into a month-long backpacking trip in southeast Asia. We're staying in a seedy hotel in Bangkok and she gets a bad case of food poisoning - it's coming out of both ends for 24 hours.I, of course, am now designated as her nurse. I'm refilling her water bottle, getting her soup from the restaurant outside, keeping her company and, most importantly, emptying the trash bin she keeps puking into.After one trip to empty her vomit bucket, I come back into the room and she's asleep. I looked at her and thought to myself "I'm not even bothered by this. I'd do anything for her. This is the woman I'm going to marry."She's a disgusting barf fairy, but she's my disgusting barf fairy. Zero regrets.Edit: For all those asking, we had a Jewish wedding, so no vows. I did get to break the sh*t out of a glass, though!
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27. Her sense of humor and fashion sense
When she was meeting my parents, she put together an outfit and asked, "What do you think? Does this say 'hey parents, look at me, I'm awesome,' or 'I slept with your son on the first date?'" Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned couples therapist, emphasizes the importance of first impressions in relationships, stating, "The way we present ourselves can significantly influence how others perceive our relationships." You can learn more about her insights on relationships at estherperel.com.
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28. A sudden realization while washing his hands
Just happened to me about 2 weeks ago.No lie, I was washing my hands in the bathroom and it hit me out of left field. I knew right then and there I wanted to marry her.Got the ring yesterday, wish me luck!EDIT: SHE SAID YES!!!!Dr. Esther Perel, couples therapist and author states, "The moment you realize you want to spend your life with someone is often unexpected and profound. It’s a beautiful acknowledgment of love." This sentiment resonates with many who have experienced that sudden clarity in their relationships.
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29. Threats of murder can also be motivating
She told me on several occasions that she would "murder me if I dumped her after she turned 40." So I proposed on her fortieth birthday. As relationship expert Dr. Ian Kerner notes, "The timing of a proposal can be deeply influenced by personal milestones, and sometimes humor can play a role in easing the tension around such significant decisions." You can learn more about his insights at Dr. Ian Kerner's website.
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30. During a moment of crisis
A few months into dating, she had a breakdown (at the time, she had been diagnosed as bipolar) where she spent a week in the psych ward of a local hospital.The day she went in, I came to visit her, and she pleaded with me to just leave and be done with her. It wasn't an absurd thing to suggest. After all, we were young (me 20, her 22), had only been dating for 3 months, and dealing with legit mental illness in a partner is a big thing to sign up for.But not only did I not even for a second consider her suggestion, I knew in that moment of decision that this was the real f**king deal.I proposed two months later. We were married just a little over a year after we started dating, and tomorrow is our 14th anniversary. She hasn't had an episode since, which we both count as a blessing. But even if it does come again, I'll be there.
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31. Bedtime chats turned into wedding planning
It actually happened without much fanfare. We were in bed one night before going to sleep, talking about our relationship and our future. We had already bought a house together and had a dog, and we had talked about marriage in the past, but it wasn't a huge priority for either of us.Talking about how cool it would be to have our wedding be like a reunion with a lot of old friends made it seem really appealing, and we knew that we both would be staying together for pretty much the rest of our lives. She ended up just saying it in the end "So, do you want to?" and I said "Yeah, I guess I do! It makes sense!" and everything happened from there.Completely and wholly unromantic! Yay for us! We're now coming up on 8 years of marriage with 2 kids.
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32. When meeting his parents, she showed she could hold her own and that she has an excellent sense of humor
When I first told my father that I was dating someone new, he jokingly asked, "What's her name? What does she do? What's her bra size?"I told her about it, hoping to prepare her for his sense of humor, and she thought it was hilarious. The first time they met she introduced herself by saying, "Hi I'm Stephanie! I'm in college and I'm a B-cup."My father was horrified, my mother was laughing hysterically, and I was in love.
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33. While on vacation
I actually have a picture I took of her the moment I realized it. Nothing in particular happened. We had been dating for a while and went on vacation together. When we arrived at the resort, we were sitting on the veranda having a drink and it just hit me: "This is the girl I am going to marry." So I immediately took her picture. The look on her face is sort of like, "Why are you looking at me like that?"I realize this is buried and nobody will see it and it's not a cool or funny story, but I wanted to put in my answer to be archived on the interwebs forever. I just love that girl so much.EDIT: You people are awesome! I posted this in the morning, and I just checked my phone and saw all the upvotes and I had to go find the pic. It took some looking; it was on an old backup drive. The pic is from 2005. Here it is: My beautiful girlThis is on the veranda of the St. Regis Mardavall on Mallorca. (At the time it was just the Mardavall.) Looking at this reminds me she was wearing my sweatshirt because it was a little chilly in the late afternoon. (It wasn't, but she gets cold when it isn't at least 75F.) She is looking at the guidebook and map. Now that I look at the picture after all these years, the late-afternoon golden light, in retrospect, might have been conspiring to influence me. Something about her at that very moment made it clear that she was the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It's been 10 wonderful years.Thank you, great people, for encouraging me to dig this out and re-live this moment.
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34. When she could be equally silly
We got really high, got in bed, and pretended we were pieces of chipotle chicken in a blanket quesadilla.We're getting married in January.Dr. Laura Berman, sex therapist states, "Humor and playfulness in a relationship can create a strong bond, making partners feel more connected and in love." This sentiment is echoed by Dr. Brené Brown, vulnerability researcher, who emphasizes that "laughter is a powerful tool for intimacy and connection."
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35. When she took off work to go dumpster-diving
The day she took off work to help me go through a dumpster. I had accidentally thrown my keys in the trash while cleaning out my car. As Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, a renowned marriage therapist, states, "Moments of vulnerability can deepen connections and showcase the strength of a partnership."Edit: We found them 2 hours later.
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36. At first sight
"The very first time I laid eyes on her! We married after going steady for 15 months and remained married for 56 years, until her death 3 years ago. Blue-eyed blonde and a ten in my book. Miss her terribly," reflects a sentiment echoed by Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, who states, "The moment you realize you want to spend your life with someone is often marked by an overwhelming sense of connection and love." For more insights on relationships, visit Dr. John Gottman's website.
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37. She calmly set a firm boundary
I got mad and yelled at her for some trivial matter because I had been in a toxic relationship prior to meeting her, thinking that arguing was normal in couples. I expected her to yell back at me, but she just looked at me for a moment and asked if I was finished. I admitted that I was, and she calmly explained that people who truly love one another do not treat each other poorly. "We can disagree, but there's no reason to be unkind. If we're going to be together, please don't be unkind to me again," she said. That was 26 years ago, and we've been happily married for 25 years. As Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, notes, "Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and kindness" (dralexandrasolomon.com).Edit: thank you all for the kind replies and messages, but I must confess something; I'm still a bit of a jerk, just not to her! ;P
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38. An online dating match that blossomed over time
We met on Match.com and talked for three weeks before we met in person. I was too shy to ask her out so she asked me and we met up. The first restaurant was fully booked so we went down the street to a small cafe. Again, I was super shy so during dinner I didn't talk a lot. I was so worried she didn't like me but we both knew, from talking through messaging, that there was more to the other person. So we decided to take a walk around town after dinner. That's where I really started feeling more comfortable and we talked and walked for hours. At the end of the date we didn't hug or kiss but she said "I had fun, we should do this again." That was the best first date I'd ever had. I new from there that she was special because I just felt so comfortable and relaxed when I was with her.That weekend after the first date she went to Florida, where her younger brother lives, to go to Disney with him so I had to wait two weeks but it was worth it. We went out again and eventually started going out weekly. Then we started seeing each other twice per week. After dating for about 8 months we started to talk about where this was going long-term. We were both 29 and felt we're both mature so we talked about marriage and life together, how we would raise our families and work together to pay off our student loans, we talked about kids and what type of parents we'd want to be. I remember after each date when I was driving home, I told myself that I knew she was the one, that I loved her and that I wanted to spend my life with her. It wasn't just one thing that made me feel that way, it was getting to know her as a person. I saw how caring, loving and patient she could be. I learned about the charity work and giving that she did, how she put others before herself.So one day in January I bought an engagement ring. It wasn't a huge ring but I knew it was the right one when I first saw it. I went to her house, sat her down on the couch and in my introverted, dorkiness said (probably not these exact words), "I think you knew this was coming for a while. I'm super nervous and hope you like this ring, so will you marry me?" She said yes. After that we went down the street and got takeout gyros and went back to her place. She called a few family members and sent pictures of the ring to a few people. Then we ate our dinner and watched Spice World, because that's totally us. We're getting married this August.
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39. After their second date, which lasted nearly 2 days
Engaged.Our first date lasted 12 hours because we just couldn't stop talking.Our second date was supposed to be just dinner and it lasted almost 2 days.She drove away after the second date and I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. I was ecstatic to find out she felt the same. As Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, states, "The most successful relationships are those where both partners feel understood and valued." For more insights, visit gottman.com.
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40. Impressed by her brains
She opened her fridge and I saw she had organized her jelly by the visible light spectrum.After we got married, she confessed that she did that on accident and had no idea what I had been talking about but just rolled with it because she could tell she scored points.I kept her anyway.Edit: to those saying "just say color", the visible light spectrum is a specific order. If I had said "organized by color" that says nothing about the order, which is what impressed me. This is not me bragging about being smart, this is elementary school stuff, people. Crack a damn book.
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41. She can dance well, too
We were young. I was moving across the country to be with her at the time. And she got our apartment all ready before I got there.Our bathroom was really, really small. She had purchased this blue bathroom rug for the floor. And because the rug was too large she carefully cut out these notches for the sink stand and the front of the toilet bowl so the carpet would fit perfectly flat.She cut the bathroom rug perfectly. I knew she had to be mine.
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42. After 10 days of dating
I was divorced going on my third year, had dated several women. But this one girl I only had been dating 10 days when I blurted out asking her to marry me. She said yes. Its been 32 years now and we're still very much in love. As Dr. Gary Chapman, marriage counselor and author of "The 5 Love Languages," states, "Love is a choice you make every day," emphasizing the importance of commitment in lasting relationships. You can learn more about his insights at 5lovelanguages.com.
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43. She literally saved his life, driving from another state
Short version: She literally saved my life.Less-short version: I'm from Michigan. Back in December 2014, I was in Delaware for a business trip. I ended up getting food poisoning, which brought on DKA (for those non-diabeeds, basically your blood gets poisoned and your body tries to fight it off, which proves to be futile). I was vomiting constantly, and kept drifting in and out of consciousness. My wife (then-girlfriend) called me about 20 or 30 times before I finally answered. The only thing I could force myself to say was "hi baby. I'm really sick." Then I blacked out again. What seemed like 5 minutes passed (which was actually about 12 - 13 hours) when I heard a banging on my hotel room door. I heard my girlfriend's voice yelling "It's me. Let me in." I screamed as loud as I could "get in here! get in here!" then I blacked out. I woke up in the hospital a day later.I found out that when I didn't answer the door, she ran downstairs, got a key, came up, and called an ambulance. The ambulance said that they would be there in 30 minutes. She said "that's not soon enough." She put me into a rolling computer chair and pushed me to the elevator and out to her car, threw my near lifeless body in the backseat, and drove me to the hospital.When all was said and done, my body had a blood sugar level of 1,400 (my normal range is 110 - 140) and my white blood cell count was around 3,000 (I'm not 100% about this number, but I know it was high). My wife sat with me for 6 days in the hospital. Sleeping in the chair next to me. Left to eat but came right back. She didn't leave my side.I should also mention that this was only 4 months after we started dating; however, we had been friends for a few years before this.I found out later that if she would have waited for the ambulance, I would not have made it. She literally saved my life. She sacrificed her time, risked getting fired and failing classes to drive 13 hours from Michigan to Delaware to take care of me. Once it all hit me as to what she had done, I was completely speechless and realized that if this girl is willing to do something like this for me, I must be pretty fucking special to her.I made it a priority once I recovered to ask her mother and father for their blessing, which they both gave me. I married her in May 2016. One of the scariest things to ever happen to me ended up showing me my girlfriend's devotion and love for me. We just hit our one year anniversary, and although we're a young couple, we are still kicking ass and going strong.
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44. Her sense of humor and consideration of his limits
When we were having a conversation and she kept making me laugh. Her sense of humor is incredible. It also helped when I was taking her out on an early date and she said, "You're spending too much money on me." She knew money was very tight for me (we were in college).Our 34th anniversary is this Saturday.
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45. A mutual appreciation of a show
During our fourth date at her house, an episode of The Simpsons aired where the characters were hiding the town's trash. Without any prior discussion about the show Doug, we both exclaimed, "STASH OUR TRASH! BEAUTIFY BLUFFINGTON!"—a trivial line from a show we hadn't seen in over a decade. This spontaneous moment of connection is significant, as Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher, states, "Shared humor can create a bond that strengthens relationships." Such moments can lead to deeper intimacy and understanding between partners, making them feel more connected. We ended up sharing a passionate kiss that night.
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46. When he saw her in action as a trauma doctor
On or about our second date, my future spouse was on call for her medical job. Her beeper went off (dates the story), and we rushed to the hospital where I got to watch her handle a trauma case. "In high-pressure situations, the ability to remain calm and exhibit expertise is crucial," says Dr. Ian Kerner, a renowned sex therapist and relationship expert. "These qualities can be incredibly attractive and are often foundational in building respect and admiration in a partnership." With that added to her package, I knew she was someone I could respect for the rest of my life. We celebrate our 24th anniversary this fall.
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47. That being home with her was the most ideal way to spend an evening
When I realized that I would rather stay home watching silly TV shows or movies with her than going out with my friends, it became clear to me that I had found something special. As Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, a renowned marriage therapist, states, "True intimacy is about sharing the mundane moments of life together." This sentiment resonates deeply with many who find joy in the simple act of being together.
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48. When she dressed up his cat as Batman and chased it around singing the theme song
Getting married next month. She came over 2 weeks into us dating with a batman costume for my cat. She put my cat in the costume and then chased the cat around the apartment singing "DA-NUH-NUH-NUH BATCAT!"There was never a doubt in my mind after that. As Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, states, "Humor is a key component in romantic relationships; it fosters connection and intimacy." You can find more insights on her work at helenfisher.com.
knowyourmeme
49. He expected to be mocked, but instead she initiated a game
I've posted this before but since you asked:When I was a young lad I had bought a pair of swords. Now for some reason I still had them, but when my now-wife agreed to come over my place I decided to hide them in a storage closet because why would any grown man have these. So, a while down the line she was looking for something in said closet when I heard "what the hell? You have swords? WHY ARE YOU HIDING THESE?!" I was prepared to be mocked mercilessly, when instead she handed me one and then started swinging. It was about that time that I realized I was going to marry her. As relationship expert Dr. Esther Perel states, "The moments that make us feel most alive often come from unexpected places, revealing the depth of our connections."
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50. Her strong reference skills
My husband tells me he knew when he casually asked me this question on our second date:"What time is it?"Correct answer and the answer I gave? "It's Howdy Doody time."Married 24 years in August.Dr. Terri Orbuch, relationship researcher and author states, "The little moments often reveal the depth of connection between partners, and humor can be a strong indicator of compatibility." This sentiment is echoed by Dr. William Doherty, family therapist, who emphasizes that shared laughter can strengthen relationships over time.
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I’ve even been guilty of the “you just know” cliche when talking about how I knew my spouse was The One for me. It was a culmination of how he made me feel loved, admired, safe, appreciated, and cared for, among many other reasons.
And as we near the 8th anniversary of being married, there are still zero regrets. If you’re also married, engaged or otherwise committed to a partner long-term, what was the defining moment that made you realize that your significant other was The One?
Let us know your story in the comments, and be sure to share this with your equally in-love friends.
Psychological Analysis
This collection of stories illustrates the profound moments that lead to commitments in relationships.
Recognizing these experiences can enhance understanding and appreciation of love's complexities.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Exploring the moments of love and commitment reveals the intricate dance of emotions within relationships.
Research underscores the importance of communication and shared experiences in fostering lasting connections.
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
The stories of realizing one wants to marry reflect the complex interplay of emotions and commitment in relationships. As noted in relationship psychology, emotional intimacy is fundamental to fostering strong partnerships.
By prioritizing connection and vulnerability, couples can build lasting foundations for their future together.
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Research underscores the significance of emotional connection and communication in fostering commitment in relationships. According to findings from the American Psychological Association, couples who engage in open discussions about their feelings and aspirations tend to experience greater satisfaction in their partnerships. By nurturing these aspects, couples can build strong foundations for lasting love.
