Mother Permits Only Her Intelligent Middle Child to Engage in Certain Activities, Excluding Her Other Children Because "They Are Not Smart Enough"

A 9-year-old mom is letting only one kid, her “intelligent middle child,” do certain activities, while the other siblings get shut out with the blunt reason that they “are not smart enough.”

In the Reddit post, OP explains the daughter is more mature, so she gets permission for more, and the rest of the kids have to sit on the sidelines. The comments spiral fast, with people arguing this kind of favoritism is setting up jealousy, resentment, and a pretty ugly family dynamic, even if OP thinks she has a good rationale.

And once you picture which kids are allowed to participate and which ones are left out, it gets hard to see this as anything other than a red flag for the whole household.

OP's post was pretty straightforward, and she begins by explaining how her daughter compares to the other kids and why she allows her daughter to do more.

u/groceryshoppost

She wants to know if she's in the wrong for allowing her daughter to do things that she doesn't allow her other kids to do simply because they are more mature and smarter.

u/groceryshoppost

People weren't really happy about OP's choices here, and it seems like a lot of people came to let her know she is indeed in the wrong.

RaineMist

That’s when the thread starts clocking the obvious power move, OP is basically running a “smart kid gets extra privileges” system with her kids in the store and at home.

Research from the University of Michigan highlights that parenting styles can significantly shape sibling relationships.

Specifically, when a parent openly favors one child over others, it can create long-lasting emotional scars and foster feelings of jealousy and inadequacy in the excluded siblings.

Studies show that children who perceive favoritism may struggle with self-esteem and develop negative relational patterns in adulthood.

Many people thought maybe this wasn't real because of the outrageous situation they were describing, but who knows if it's real or not.

Commercial-Place6793

People think this is fake simply because it doesn't sound like something a 9-year-old would do or something that a mom would allow her 9-year-old to do.

thirdtryisthecharm

We're not sure how we feel about leaving a 9-year-old in the store either, but to each their own, I guess.

Ducky818

People also keep side-eyeing the idea that OP’s middle child is the only one capable of doing “certain activities,” while the other siblings are treated like they cannot keep up.

It’s like the friend who quietly added luxury items to the grocery bill, then got accused of ruining everything.

Psychological theories suggest that birth order can influence personality development, but in this case, the mother’s selective engagement may override natural dynamics.

Such dynamics can perpetuate a cycle of competition and resentment among siblings, impacting their future relationships.

The mom is definitely favoring one child, even though it might be for somewhat good reasons, but she should at least allow the other kids to participate.

Username19611691

This is definitely the biggest red flag because the other kids should at least be given the opportunity to do what they can for their mom.

Apsara7

Many people are wondering if it is real, and we don't even know honestly because it seems like the whole situation is kind of odd.

cassowary32

Then the birth-order talk and jealousy concerns kick in, because commenters can’t stop focusing on how this kind of selective permission teaches the kids who matters most.

Practical Solutions for Healthy Family Dynamics

Creating opportunities for each child to shine individually can help balance the dynamics, such as setting aside time for one-on-one activities that celebrate each child’s unique strengths.

Involving all children in family discussions about activities can also promote inclusivity and strengthen family bonds.

It isn't fair that she doesn't allow her other kids to do the same thing, and this creates a problem for most people.

Latter-Shower-9888

It seems like everyone is on the same page here, and it appears that OP is the antagonist for how she's acting in this situation and the unfairness of it all.

Diasies_inMyHair

Even the skepticism hits hard, because plenty of readers think it might be fake, but nobody’s comfortable with how a mom could justify excluding her other kids anyway.

It seems like everyone says that OP is in the wrong here, either for allowing her daughter to go into the store alone to do this or because she is not allowing her other kids the same type of respect. Regardless, it seems like OP is in the wrong here, and we have to agree with them on this one.

From a developmental perspective, children are particularly sensitive to parental validation and support.

When a parent allows only one child to engage in rewarding activities, it can lead to significant emotional distress in other children, as shown in various psychological studies.

This can create a fragmented family environment where children feel they must compete for love and approval.

The situation presented in this AITA thread highlights the troubling dynamics of favoritism within the family structure.

The family dinner did not end well, and it sounds like the real fallout is already baked into who gets to do what.

For another family blowup, see why she refused to bail out her mother-in-law’s luxury shopping mess.