"My Granddaughter Called Me A Narcissist At Dinner”—This MIL’s Christmas Rule Has The Reddit Community Shook

A Redditor recently shared a family situation that has left her equal parts confused, frustrated, and honestly impressed by her teenager’s confidence. The issue centers on her mother-in-law, who has some very strong and unconventional ideas about what counts as “real family.”

According to the OP, her mother-in-law believes that once her son got married, he officially became extended family rather than immediate family. In her view, her only true family is her husband, which explains why she makes little effort to maintain a relationship with her son or grandchildren.

This belief led to a rule that the mother-in-law created when her son was just 17 and dating the OP. She declared that romantic partners were never allowed at Christmas, which effectively meant she would never spend another holiday with her son.

Despite loving the month of December, the mother-in-law rarely sees them during it at all. This arrangement has quietly continued through 13 years of marriage, and while the OP finds it bizarre, she’s largely accepted it as part of who her mother-in-law is.

The family only sees the mother-in-law about twice a year, usually during a dinner that includes the kids. At one of these rare visits, one of the children asked why they never spend holidays with their dad’s side of the family.

The OP explained the long-standing Christmas rule honestly and without much drama. That’s when her 13-year-old, a self-proclaimed Reddit fan, chimed in with an unexpected assessment.

The teen casually labeled her grandmother a narcissist and a “JustNoMIL,” referencing a subreddit she apparently knows well. The mother-in-law was not amused and immediately pushed back.

She snapped that the child was entitled, insisted she didn’t owe anyone Christmas, and reiterated that she prefers spending it with her “real family.” The conversation ended there, but the tension did not.

After dinner, the mother-in-law told her son they were rude for not reprimanding their daughter. She also said the teen needed to learn to keep quiet when something “wasn’t her business,” which only added fuel to the fire.

The family only sees the mother-in-law about twice a year, usually during a dinner that includes the kids.

AI-generated image

Here's the original post by a now deleted Reddit user.

MIL is kind of an odd woman and has some quirky beliefs. One thing she feels very strongly about is when her son married he became extended family vs “real family” As a result she doesn’t make much effort and hardly knows her grandkids.According to her her only real family is her husband. MIL made up a rule when my husband was 17 and dating me that he could never bring a partner to Christmas. Christmas was only for real family and MIL was totally aware that meant she would never spend another Christmas with her son again.She loves December and we don’t even usually see her during the month. It’s been going on since then and for 13 years of marriage and I find it bizarre but she is who she is. Recently we had dinner with mil and my kids. We do this about twice a year and it is the only time she sees them.One questioned why we’ve never spent a holiday with my husbands side and I explained MILs rule. My 13 year old loves reddit and probably reads it a bit too much and called MIL a narcissist and a JustNoMIL (lol we read that sub together, she has good taste) MIL got annoyed and said my daughter is entitled and MiL doesn’t owe us Christmas and wants to spend it with her only real family. That was that but after dinner mil told my husband that we were rude for bit reprimanding our daughter and she needs to learn to shut up when it isn’t her business.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

iwanttoquitposting

"How is it not her business?"

missplaced24

NTA.

Legion1117

Of course she wants to know why.

johnlal101

She has a right to be upset.

imalionyoureasheep

Unreal!

Majestic_Being_7276

"Why does she care?"

HippopotamusFart

ESH.

Bulky_Claim

She asked, you answered.

Deleted user

"She sounds terrible."

el_acton1982

"Extended family members have no say."

RCKJD

"Your mil is an AH and a gross person."

iamblamb

"13 year olds are truly unhinged."

thistheremixhere

She needs to be "exposed to NORMAL and healthy relationships."

hriaz

In the end, the Redditor says she’s less shocked by her mother-in-law’s reaction and more struck by how clearly her daughter sees the situation. While the holidays may remain off-limits, the family seems content knowing honesty, even when uncomfortable, runs strong in their household.