New Mom Overreacts After Her Controlling MIL Made A Babysitting Schedule For Her Baby Without Informing Her
"It feels like she’s trying to take control of the situation"
A new mom just wanted one simple, predictable thing, and her controlling MIL turned it into a power play. The baby was still fresh in the world, and the OP already had to deal with someone acting like they owned the schedule.
Before the baby even arrived, the OP asked her MIL about keeping the baby on Fridays. No drama, just a straightforward request. But after delivery, the MIL pulled out a red marker and started correcting things, handing over a babysitting schedule without telling the OP, like the OP had no say in her own child’s routine.
Now the OP and her husband have to figure out where the boundaries are supposed to be, because this Friday plan is not the only fight brewing.
The OP pens down its headline
RedditWhen the OP was pregnant, they asked her MIL if she would be able to keep their baby on Fridays
RedditLet's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say regarding the story
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The whole mess starts with that one Friday question during pregnancy, and then the MIL acts like that conversation was just a draft.
This situation illustrates how control dynamics can significantly impact familial relationships.
MIL doesn't have the authority to tell the OP when she'll have her child
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Pulling out the red marker and correcting her schedule
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The OP needs to talk to her husband about it
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Once the MIL made a babysitting schedule without informing the OP, it stopped being “help” and started feeling like control over the baby’s day-to-day life.
When one family member imposes their will, it can create a power imbalance that undermines the autonomy of others.
Studies indicate that this imbalance can lead to feelings of inadequacy and conflict, damaging family relationships.
Encouraging open discussions about roles and expectations can help mitigate these issues.
This is similar to the OP choosing work over her mother-in-law’s reunion, and the fallout with her husband.
The OP shouldn't go out of her way looking for something to be offended about
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She can share Fridays with her daughter, as it sounds like she wants to cut the OP's dad off
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The OP is not overreacting, but the MIL is overstepping her boundaries
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When the OP sees the red marker corrections, it’s not the schedule that’s upsetting her, it’s the fact that her MIL changed it while she was left out.
Establishing Healthy Boundaries
Research shows that boundary-setting can empower individuals to communicate their needs effectively, leading to healthier interactions.
Family therapy can also be beneficial in addressing power dynamics and fostering understanding among family members.
According to this Redditor, that schedule is going to be stressful for the baby as they need consistency
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The OP should go ahead and put her schedule on paper and hand it over to the MIL
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From a Redditor whose MIL did the same to them as soon as they got back to work
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The OP’s next move is tied to her husband, because if he doesn’t back her up, the MIL will keep acting like Fridays belong to her.
Practical strategies could include family meetings where everyone can express their feelings and negotiate boundaries.
Numerous covert and overt techniques might be used by an emotionally manipulative mother-in-law to exert control over your relationship with your spouse. It's crucial to deal with a passive-aggressive mother-in-law diplomatically in order to prevent this from negatively impacting your marriage.
Drop your advice for the OP in the comments section below, and don't forget to share this post as well.
The situation involving the new mom and her controlling mother-in-law highlights the critical need for healthy boundaries in family dynamics. Open communication is vital to navigating these conflicts, allowing families to create a supportive environment rather than one fraught with tension and resentment.
Nobody signs up to have their MIL rewrite their baby’s life in red marker.
Want another MIL power struggle, read about choosing mother-in-law over your best friend at her baby shower.