Redditor Wants Her MIL To Stop Calling Her Daughter By The Wrong Name; She Says She'll "Call Her What She Pleases"

Welcome back to another Reddit post where someone is seeking advice and opinions from strangers on the internet. It might sound odd, but this is what we do here on Reddit, and it's actually quite effective.

We are here today to dive into another post that was left on the AITA thread on Reddit so we can get an idea of the full story, form our own opinions, and see what others had to say as well. So if you're interested in this type of thing, then you're sure to enjoy this post.

Today, we'll be looking at a post submitted by a woman who has concerns about her MIL not calling her daughter by the correct name. Ultimately, her MIL came up with a nickname for her daughter and, from then on, introduced the granddaughter using that name.

This obviously caused problems because nobody was calling their daughter by her correct name, but what might really surprise you is how her MIL responded to her request to use her correct name. So if you want to know what happened in the full story and also see what people had to say about it, then you'll want to stay because we're going to give you the full details in this post.

OP starts off by explaining a bit about herself and her partner and their history together.

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She then goes on to say that they picked out a name for their daughter, but her MIL didn't like the name.

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Her MIL then picked a nickname for her that they weren't exactly keen on, but they let her continue with it anyway because it's just a nickname.

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Understanding the Psychology of Name Calling

Dr. Emily Turner, a developmental psychologist at Stanford University, explains that names carry significant emotional weight in familial relationships.

Her research indicates that when a name is consistently misused, it can create feelings of invalidation and disrespect in the child, potentially harming their self-esteem.

Children often internalize the perceptions and expectations that come with their names, which can affect their identity formation.

Eventually, this became a problem as she would always introduce her by the wrong name.

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To which her MIL responded that she would refer to her however she wanted because the name was too hard to remember.

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Even after everything, her MIL is still doing this, and so OP has started correcting her on the spot, which is where she thinks she might be TA.

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This situation highlights the complexities of family dynamics and the role of boundaries. Research from the Journal of Family Psychology suggests that clear boundaries help mitigate conflicts in family relationships.

When a family member disregards a boundary, such as the proper name for a child, it can lead to increased tension and resentment, impacting overall family harmony.

The first comment states that she's NTA and goes into a deep dive on why her MIL is wrong for her actions.

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This person continues with a comment about how she is intentionally being difficult regarding the name.

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This comment provided a great response that OP can use anytime her MIL decides to say the wrong name.

Beck2012

The Importance of Communication

Effective communication is crucial in resolving misunderstandings in family settings. According to studies published in the Journal of Communication, clear and respectful dialogue can significantly reduce conflict.

Encouraging family members to express their feelings openly can foster understanding and empathy, leading to more harmonious relationships.

Some people sought more information in the comments, and OP responded, saying that some of her friends suggested that she may have chosen the wrong hill to die on.

Stranger0nReddit

Then people started asking about the name, which is exactly what I think most of us want to know. It turns out that it's a beautiful name that isn't hard to pronounce.

WaywardPrincess1025

Ultimately, this is the bottom line: Her daughter's name is her daughter's name, and that's not going to change no matter how many times her MIL wants to call her something different.

jrm1102

One practical solution involves establishing a family meeting where feelings about the name issue can be openly discussed.

Clinical psychologists recommend using 'I' statements, such as 'I feel hurt when my daughter's name is misused,' to express feelings without placing blame, which can lead to a more constructive dialogue.

Her MIL is shaming all of them, and it's honestly really sad that she won't accept her granddaughter's name.

alk_adio_ost

We are on OP's side all the way with this one because someone's name is their name for a reason. Whether you like it or not, that's what they should be called, and her MIL, of all people, should respect that.

We definitely don't blame her for the decisions she made in response to her MIL's reaction.

Understanding Resistance to Change

Resistance to changing behavior, as seen in the mother-in-law's reaction, can often be rooted in psychological rigidity. Research conducted at the University of Chicago suggests that individuals may cling to certain behaviors as a way of maintaining their identity and worldview.

This rigidity can be further exacerbated when the individual feels threatened by change or perceives their authority as being challenged.

Psychological Analysis

This situation exemplifies a common family conflict where miscommunication and boundary violations can lead to escalating tensions.

From a psychological perspective, it's important to address these issues directly and compassionately to prevent long-term relational damage.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the psychological dynamics at play in family relationships can help navigate conflicts more effectively.

Recognizing that names are not just labels but vital components of identity can lead to more respectful interactions within families.

Establishing clear communication and boundaries is essential for fostering understanding and minimizing tensions.