Redditor Asks If She's An A**hole For Questioning Her MIL's Bachelor's Degree When She Starts Tutoring Her Son

The saying goes that it takes a village to raise a child, and that couldn't be more true. So, when one Redditor wasn't feeling well recently, her MIL came to the rescue.

The OP shared her story in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit. She explained that her MIL had been helping her husband around the house and taking care of their kids while she was unwell.

When the OP's 15-year-old son started having trouble in his math class, the Redditor's MIL began tutoring him. The OP says they were both enjoying the tutoring sessions and spending time together, but she had some reservations about it.

The OP expressed her concern because her MIL only has a bachelor's degree in Ancient History, so she wasn't sure if she was qualified to teach her son mathematics. The OP suggested that her MIL ask for help if she needed it or if she didn't understand something, but her MIL declined, stating she was confident in the content.

The OP asked her husband to "monitor" his mother while she taught their son, but he told her he wouldn't because he was confident in his mother's ability. He informed the OP that she was being disrespectful toward his mom and that she needed to be more considerate of her feelings.

Now the OP is wondering if she's the a**hole here. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The Redditor asked if she's an a**hole for questioning her MIL's education.

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She explained that her MIL has been helping out with the kids while she has been unwell.

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The OP's MIL has started tutoring her son.

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Challenges in Family Relationships

Dr. Karen Lee, a developmental psychologist, points out that questioning a family member's qualifications can stem from insecurities regarding one's own abilities. This dynamic is often exacerbated when it involves children, as parents may feel the need to validate their roles in their children's education.

This behavior can create tension, as it undermines trust and respect within the family unit.

The OP says her MIL "only" has a bachelor's degree in Ancient History.

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The OP is concerned that her MIL may not remember the content her son is learning.

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But the OP's husband is confident in his mother's ability.

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According to research published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, validation and acknowledgment are crucial for fostering healthy family relationships. When family members question each other's capabilities, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and conflict.

Understanding this dynamic can help families navigate their interactions more compassionately.

Now the OP is wondering if she is the a**hole here.

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In a later edit, the OP said she decided to hire a math tutor for her son.

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Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/author124

The Importance of Respectful Communication

Respectful communication is key to mitigating conflicts like this. Studies show that when family members express their concerns in a constructive manner, it promotes healthier dialogue and can lead to constructive outcomes.

Encouraging family members to share their thoughts without judgment can cultivate an environment of mutual respect.

Oh, no big deal.

Reddit/notoriousbsr

Leave it up to the kid.

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Give the MIL some credit.

Reddit/TanToRial

In this situation, the individual may benefit from expressing their feelings directly to their mother-in-law, emphasizing their appreciation for her help while also communicating their concerns. This can help clarify intentions and reduce misunderstandings.

By framing the conversation around collaboration rather than criticism, the family can foster a more supportive relationship.

Maybe OP should tutor him herself.

Reddit/audioaddict321

YTA.

Reddit/okeydokeyish

"This is more of a reflection on you, not her."

Reddit/DesertSong-LaLa

Practical Strategies for Resolution

One effective strategy could be to involve a neutral third party, such as a family therapist, to facilitate discussions. This approach can help uncover underlying issues and promote a more open dialogue.

Therapists often emphasize the importance of creating a safe space for discussing sensitive topics, which can lead to greater understanding among family members.

Okay, but it's high school math.

Reddit/UrReplyIsAutistic

Why are you being weird?

Reddit/Shitsuri

Sounds like she's doing a good job.

Reddit/Simonoz1

Additionally, family members might consider setting boundaries regarding educational involvement. This can help prevent overstepping and ensure that each person's role is respected.

Establishing clear boundaries allows individuals to thrive in their roles while fostering a sense of collaboration within the family.

"She feels threatened."

Reddit/Significant_Ruin4870

"Judgmental AF."

Reddit/Rredhead926

The answer is yes!

Reddit/GHERU42

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP is out of line for questioning her MIL's education, or is it understandable for her to be concerned about her son's schooling?

Either way, the OP probably could have approached it more tactfully and perhaps been more sensitive to her MIL's feelings. After all, OP's MIL was doing her a rather large favor.

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the deeper insecurities that can surface in family dynamics, particularly when dealing with education and expertise. It's important for family members to approach these discussions with empathy and a focus on collaboration.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Family dynamics can be complex, especially when they involve education and expertise. By fostering open communication and respect, families can navigate these challenges more effectively.

Understanding each other's perspectives is key to maintaining healthy relationships.