Woman Celebrates Son For Winning Scholarship, Tells Her Single-Mom Daughter That She's Done Nothing To Be Proud Of

Every child is different. Even when born to the same parent and raised in the same way, each child will turn out differently.

One child could be an introvert, while the other could be the opposite. Genetics can be one of the reasons for sibling differences, as siblings usually only share 50 percent of the DNA passed down from their parents. 

Different factors, such as the schools they attend, the friends they make, and more, can also account for these differences. For parents, it can be quite difficult to wrap their heads around the differences their children exhibit.

They may even begin to compare their children. We found a story on the AITA subreddit that paints a similar picture.

OP shared that she had two children who are opposites. One of her children was the kind to have big goals but gave up on them quickly, while the other was the kind to keep up with his plans and achieve them.

Her daughter had gotten pregnant and dropped out of school, while her son was in school on a scholarship.  During dinner, OP told her son she was proud of him.

Her daughter responded that OP had never expressed that to her.  After dinner, they had a conversation about it, and OP shared that the reason she had never told her daughter she was proud of her was that there was nothing to be proud of. 

This upset her, leading OP to ask the AITA question. Check out the verdict below!

The story in detail...

Reddit.com

Introducing OP's children, Leah and Kevin, who seem to have big life goals

Reddit.com

According to OP, Leah has a habit of easily giving up on anything she tries out. On the other hand, Kevin keeps himself motivated and has better grades in school.

Reddit.com

The Impact of Favoritism on Family Dynamics

Dr. Jennifer Lee, a psychologist at the University of Toronto, discusses how parental favoritism can create rifts between siblings.

When one child receives more praise or recognition, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment in other children.

Research shows that these dynamics can have long-term effects on sibling relationships and individual self-esteem.

The Dynamics of Sibling Rivalry

Dr. Kevin Brown, a developmental psychologist at the University of Toronto, explores the complexities of sibling relationships. His research indicates that sibling rivalry often stems from perceived disparities in parental attention and validation.

This situation highlights how individual achievements can lead to feelings of inadequacy among siblings, particularly when one sibling feels overshadowed by another's success.

Sibling Dynamics and Parental Comparison

Dr. Alfred Adler's theories on sibling rivalry suggest that comparisons among siblings can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment.

In this case, the mother’s comments may have inadvertently fostered a competitive atmosphere between her children.

Research indicates that such comparisons can have long-term impacts on self-esteem and sibling relationships.

Leah got engaged to her high school sweetheart, as she felt that being a mom was her calling. Unfortunately, the relationship didn't work out. Now she's a single mom with no career.

Reddit.com

Kevin won a sports scholarship to study at a prestigious university. So, OP and her husband used his 21st birthday to gather the family together and discuss his success. However, Leah doesn't seem happy that her brother is getting all the attention.

Reddit.com

Leah heard her parents say that they are proud of her Kevin, something that had never been said to her before. This made her confront OP, who then responded by telling her that she had not yet done anything for them to be proud of. Now, Leah feels that her parents are painting her as a failure.

Reddit.com

Behavioral studies suggest that children who feel neglected or undervalued may struggle with emotional regulation and interpersonal relationships.

These children often develop a sense of competition with their siblings, which can perpetuate feelings of jealousy and inadequacy.

Understanding these patterns is essential for fostering healthier family relationships.

According to studies published in the Journal of Family Psychology, siblings often compare themselves to each other, leading to feelings of envy and resentment. This dynamic can create a toxic environment where siblings feel pitted against one another rather than supported.

Understanding these patterns can help siblings navigate their emotions and foster healthier relationships.

According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, parental favoritism can lead to significant emotional distress for siblings who feel overlooked.

This underscores the importance of equitable treatment to promote healthy sibling relationships.

Understanding these dynamics can help parents navigate their interactions with children more sensitively.

We gathered some comments from the Reddit community below:

"While I think that not taking responsibility for her own child is not a good thing, I also feel like you have brought this on yourself because of how you raised her."

Reddit.com

"YTA...You're honestly telling me that in 26 years your daughter has done zero to be proud of?"

Reddit.com

"Omg, if the roles were reversed here and your son had abandoned his kid because he was 'overwhelmed,' the comments would be VERY different here."

Reddit.com

Promoting Equality in Parenting

Research indicates that equitable parenting practices lead to healthier emotional outcomes for children.

When parents actively work to recognize each child's achievements and strengths, they promote a sense of belonging and self-worth.

Establishing family traditions that celebrate individual successes can help mitigate feelings of favoritism.

Building a Supportive Family Environment

Effective strategies for building a supportive family environment involve fostering open communication and recognizing each child's unique strengths. Research suggests that families who celebrate individual accomplishments while also promoting teamwork tend to have better emotional outcomes.

Encouraging siblings to express their feelings and support one another can help mitigate rivalry and foster a culture of collaboration.

The Impact of Parental Expectations

Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset emphasizes how parental expectations can shape children's self-perceptions and motivation.

In this situation, the mother’s comments about her son's scholarship could lead to her daughter feeling undervalued, impacting her self-esteem.

Encouraging a growth mindset in both children can foster resilience and shared success.

"ESH. It doesn’t sound like you ever supported your daughter the way she needed."

Reddit.com

"She is only projecting her own feelings of failure onto your words, and it seems she needs a wake-up call."

Reddit.com

"NTA. By the sound of it, she hasn’t done anything substantial with her life."

Reddit.com

To ensure all children feel valued, parents might consider creating a system for recognizing accomplishments, such as a family achievement board.

This visual representation can help highlight each child's unique strengths and contributions.

Additionally, regular family meetings can provide a platform for each child to share their successes and challenges, fostering a sense of unity.

Practical solutions for this situation include implementing family discussions about accomplishments, where each child can share their achievements without fear of judgment. Creating opportunities for collaboration, such as family projects or team sports, can also strengthen sibling bonds.

Additionally, recognizing and validating each child's contributions can help cultivate a sense of worth and belonging.

To promote healthy sibling dynamics, parents can consider engaging in regular family discussions about achievements and feelings.

Creating an environment where each child feels valued for their unique contributions can mitigate rivalry and foster teamwork.

Additionally, recognizing and celebrating individual strengths can enhance self-esteem across the board.

"Kudos to you for being able to have her around after she ditched her own child."

Reddit.com

"Does she want a participation trophy? She hasn’t stuck to anything, she hasn’t achieved any goal, and when she identified the one thing she wanted to do (parent a child), she quit."

Reddit.com

"She must think she’s done something you should be proud of, so has she gone through something that makes just being alive and functioning an achievement?"

Reddit.com

Fostering Individuality in Children

Dr. Peter Gray, an educational psychologist, emphasizes the importance of nurturing each child’s individuality.

In this context, focusing on each child's unique talents and achievements can help reduce competitive feelings and promote collaboration.

Research shows that when children feel appreciated for their individuality, they develop healthier self-esteem and emotional resilience.

"NTA! I don’t see anywhere in the post where OP states she played favorites or favored her son over her daughter."

Reddit.com

"NTA. You love your children, but let's be honest: one excels and the other exists. The daughter asked, and she was honest."

Reddit.com

A majority of the Reddit community believes that everyone should take the blame here.

Some commenters believe OP’s daughter has ADHD, which is why she easily quits things she starts. Others believe OP is unnecessarily judgmental of her daughter.

Regardless, it's sad to see OP's daughter at such a low point in her life. We do hope the family rallies around to help push her toward finding her path.

What are your thoughts on this story? Tell us in the comments below!

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the potential pitfalls of parental comparisons, which can inadvertently create tension and rivalry among siblings. It's crucial for parents to recognize each child's unique contributions to promote a supportive family environment.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Parental comparisons can have lasting effects on sibling relationships and individual self-esteem.

Research indicates that promoting individuality and equitable treatment can foster healthier sibling dynamics.

Ultimately, creating an environment of support and appreciation is essential for children to thrive emotionally.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects common themes in sibling dynamics where achievements can spark feelings of inadequacy. It's essential for families to celebrate each child's strengths while also fostering a supportive environment that mitigates rivalry.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Experts emphasize the importance of fostering a supportive family environment to mitigate sibling rivalry and promote healthy relationships. Open communication and recognition of individual strengths are vital for building a cohesive family unit.

Ultimately, creating a culture of support and collaboration can lead to lasting bonds among siblings.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the dynamics of favoritism within families, highlighting the emotional distress it can cause among siblings.

It's essential for parents to be mindful of their behaviors and ensure that all children feel equally valued and supported.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Parental favoritism can significantly impact sibling relationships and individual self-esteem.

Research supports the idea that promoting equality in parenting practices can lead to healthier emotional outcomes for children.

Ultimately, fostering a sense of belonging and recognition in families is crucial for emotional well-being.