Mom Who Favored Son Gets Tired Of His Incompetence And Entitlement As Adult, Cries When Daughter Calls Her Bad Mom

An 18-year-old recently had the opportunity to provide her mom with feedback about her parenting. Her mom has been complaining about OP's 22-year-old brother and his refusal to be a responsible adult.

OP has four siblings. Apart from her older brother, she has two older sisters, and their youngest sibling is three years old.

Their family treated OP's older brother differently from the rest of them. Their parents' dream was to have a son.

They, including her older sisters, spoiled OP's brother rotten. Her brother was babied by everyone and given no responsibilities.

He received material things none of them could have asked for. OP knew her brother was the apple of their parents' eye.

Their mom made no attempts to hide her favoritism. Even at a young age, their parents expected more from OP than they did from her older brother.

Recently, their mom grew tired of her son's attitude. She decided it was time for him to grow up because he was too old to be this irresponsible.

He only takes two classes per semester and spends his tuition fee on things unrelated to his studies. He argues with their mom every time she asks him to get a job.

He can't be relied upon to look after himself. He is useless at home and can't be bothered to do his laundry or any other chores.

All their mom's attempts to make him grow up failed. She turned to OP and her sisters for help.

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She asked them to talk to their brother and try to coax him into getting a job.

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She made the mistake of asking what she did wrong. OP answered that it was her fault that her brother turned out that way.

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The Impact of Favoritism on Family Dynamics

Favoritism in families can create lasting psychological scars, particularly among siblings. Dr. Linda B. Nielsen, a psychologist at Wake Forest University, has extensively researched sibling relationships and notes that perceived favoritism can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment. Her studies suggest that these dynamics often stem from the parents' unconscious biases, which can significantly affect children's self-esteem and emotional well-being.

In this scenario, the mother's favoritism towards her son may have inadvertently neglected her daughter's emotional needs, leading to a rupture in their relationship.

OP said she has been pointing out their favoritism since she was a kid, but their mom denied it or became defensive.

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Their mom got upset. She cried and yelled at OP, saying she did her best to love them equally. OP replied that her best wasn't good enough. Now, their family wants OP to apologize to their mom for what she said. OP disagrees.

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A Redditor wondered if the sudden realization was prompted by the fact that OP's mom has another son to spoil.

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Moreover, the emotional fallout from perceived favoritism can manifest in various ways. Research from the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that children who feel overlooked may develop issues such as anxiety and depression. This highlights the importance of equitable treatment within the family to promote healthy emotional development.

OP said that isn't far from the truth. She also feels that it's unfair for their mom to expect her brother to become a grown-up overnight after they treated him like royalty his whole life.

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It was surprising that none of OP's siblings sided with her.

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OP and her sisters have a significant age gap.

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Addressing the Consequences of Favoritism

To address the repercussions of favoritism, parents can benefit from engaging in reflective practices. Understanding their own biases and actively seeking to create a more balanced family environment is crucial. Techniques such as family therapy can provide a safe space for all members to express their feelings and work through these complex dynamics.

Additionally, parents should consciously allocate time and attention to each child, ensuring that all children feel valued. Research supports the idea that equitable treatment fosters stronger sibling bonds and healthier emotional outcomes.

Their oldest sister was away in college when they were kids, while their other sister is more concerned about keeping the peace.

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OP said her dad can't be expected to intervene. He wasn't exactly an active parent when they were kids, and he let their mom take the reins.

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It's dangerous to ask a question you aren't prepared to hear the truthful answer to.

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It's also essential to encourage open dialogues about feelings within the family. Creating an environment where children can express their emotions without fear of retribution can help mitigate feelings of resentment. According to studies in developmental psychology, these discussions can strengthen family ties and promote healthier relationships in the long run.

It was also unfair for their mom to expect her daughters to step in when she could no longer deal with the attitude of her favorite son.

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OP's mom has no one to blame for this situation other than herself.

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Her parenting made him the way he is. It's not OP's or her sisters' responsibility to give their brother a wake-up call.

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The Role of Parental Awareness

Finally, parental awareness plays a key role in mitigating the effects of favoritism. Parents should regularly reflect on their interactions with each child, considering how their actions may be perceived. Engaging in family counseling can provide insights and tools to address any unintended biases and foster a more harmonious family dynamic.

Understanding that emotional wounds can take time to heal is crucial, and parents must be patient as they navigate these complex feelings with their children.

OP was the only one in her family who had the courage to call out their mom for her blatant favoritism. She can apologize for hurting her mom's feelings, but she shouldn't be forced to take back what she said.

OP is correct to point out that her brother needs time to grow out of his entitled mindset. However, it isn't her or her sisters' responsibility to hold his hand while he figures out what to do with his life.

Psychological Analysis

This situation exemplifies how favoritism can leave deep emotional scars on children, impacting their self-worth and relationships. The mother's realization of her behavior is a crucial first step in healing these rifts. Open discussions about feelings and needs will be essential in rebuilding trust and connection with her daughter.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Clinical research highlights the damaging effects of favoritism on sibling relationships. According to the American Psychological Association, recognizing and addressing these dynamics is vital for fostering healthy family environments. By prioritizing equity and open communication, families can heal and build stronger connections.