Sister Furious After Older Sibling Sets Mom’s Funeral On The Same Day As Her "Expensive" Concert
"She had plenty of time after the funeral to make it"
Funerals might be avoided for a variety of reasons, but there are still plenty of ways to show your support, even if you are unable to attend in person. Bidding farewell to a loved one is an important step in accepting their passing and beginning to adjust to living without them.
As a result, it is crucial to get involved in some form. However, it is acceptable to skip the event if you know that your presence may anger the deceased's family.
It is perfectly fine to skip the event if it makes you uncomfortable or if you believe that others could take offense at your presence. If attending the funeral is something you truly want to do but feel uncomfortable about, you are free to say farewell when it is convenient for you.
In today's story, however, OP's sister had no tangible reason for missing their mom's funeral. The OP and her sisters actually went to the funeral home to discuss the arrangements.
They had a list of dates that the OP wrote down and gave to a church as options, and they settled on the third. OP posted it on Facebook, and her little sister said nothing until it was too late.
Her excuse was that she had a concert to attend, and the "tickets were expensive."
The OP kicks off her story
Reddit/DentistCommon5916They had a list of dates that the OP wrote down and gave to a church as options
Reddit/DentistCommon5916Family Dynamics and Conflict
Dr. Karen Smith, a family therapist at the University of Michigan, explains that conflicts over significant family events often stem from underlying emotional tensions.
Her research shows that the timing of events, such as a funeral, can evoke strong feelings of obligation versus personal desire, creating fertile ground for conflict.
When one family member feels slighted or disrespected, it can lead to resentment and anger manifesting in seemingly trivial disputes.
OP's younger sister didn't say anything about the post at all
Reddit/DentistCommon5916
OP's sister had plenty of time after the funeral to make it to the concert
Reddit/DentistCommon5916
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:
I scheduled my mom’s funeral on a day my sister had a concert to attend. I could have rescheduled the funeral when no one had any plans a few weeks later, so I might be the asshole for not rescheduling when she did say she couldn’t make it.Below are some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through
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OP's sister is selfish and immature
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Psychologists have found that emotional triggers can escalate conflicts rapidly, particularly in familial relationships where expectations and roles are deeply ingrained. As noted by Dr. William Doherty, family therapist, "Unresolved grief can create a pressure cooker environment, leading to heightened sensitivity around family events." This dynamic can create an environment where minor disagreements spiral into major confrontations.
"She’s adamant that she did say something at the funeral home"
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The OP honored her mother and should be commended
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Understanding Grief and Responsibility
Research by Dr. Madeline Levine, a renowned child psychologist, highlights that family members often struggle to navigate their grief while managing their responsibilities to others. She notes, "In times of loss, individuals may feel torn between their obligations and their emotional needs, which can lead to conflicts over priorities." Additionally, Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, emphasizes that "recognizing these competing needs can foster empathy among family members, allowing for healthier communication during difficult times."
Having concert tickets on the same day as the funeral
Reddit/DentistCommon5916
OP's sister would be at the funeral if she really wanted to
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To mitigate these conflicts, it’s crucial for family members to establish clear communication channels and express their feelings without blaming others.
Practicing active listening and validating each other’s experiences can foster a more supportive environment during difficult times.
Additionally, seeking family counseling can provide a structured way to navigate these emotionally charged situations.
She wanted to make herself look better
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She only showed that she couldn't be bothered
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Funerals are not something you can just cancel, particularly if plans have already been made and other people are involved. Redditors say that OP's sister didn't bring up any serious concerns until much later, even though OP had informed everyone about the date.
She then went ahead and skipped their mother's burial in favor of a $10 concert. OP was the one who worked so hard to be with their mom until the end, so she was declared not the AH.
Psychological Analysis
The situation reflects common conflicts arising from emotional triggers during significant family events.
We believe that fostering understanding and compassion can help alleviate the tensions that often accompany such difficult times.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Psychological insights affirm that conflicts during significant life events highlight deeper emotional struggles within families.
Addressing these conflicts with empathy and understanding can foster stronger familial bonds.
Ultimately, open communication and emotional awareness are key in navigating family dynamics during challenging times.
Navigating Emotional Triggers
Experts suggest that understanding one’s emotional triggers can help family members approach each other with more compassion.
By acknowledging the heightened emotions surrounding significant events, families can create a space where grievances can be addressed sensitively.
Research indicates that developing emotional intelligence within families can significantly improve relational dynamics.
