Redditors Stunned As Narcissist Mom Says To Adult Child That Chronic Illness Is God's Punishment On Her

There is an entire community on Reddit dedicated to people raised by narcissistic parents. They should welcome the OP of this story into their group.

The recent unpleasant encounter with their mom turned OP's family against them. OP is 25 years old and was born with a chronic illness.

They have to use a wheelchair most of the time and rely on medication to get through each day. Fortunately, OP lives in a country with commendable healthcare coverage for its citizens.

Her parents never had to worry about medical debt. OP still considers their chronic illness a personal burden they alone can carry.

But OP manages as best as they can. They live with their significant other and work remotely as much as possible.

The couple made an effort to see OP's parents and regretted it almost immediately. As usual, OP's mom made a show of helping them get out of the car.

She spoke to OP as if they were a child. OP had a lot of practice and patience with their mom's theatrics, but something their mom said triggered OP.

She waxed on and on about how OP's chronic illness was God's punishment for her — how it was her burden to carry. OP was done witnessing the one-woman show.

OP abruptly asked their partner to drive them home after calling their mom pathetic

u/MysteriousAd7168

OP's dad called them on their way home and said they overreacted

u/MysteriousAd7168

OP's aunt piled on and defended their mom. Apparently, she's just overwhelmed by OP's illness.

u/MysteriousAd7168

The Impact of Narcissism on Family Dynamics

Dr. Emily Carter, a clinical psychologist at Stanford University, emphasizes that narcissistic behavior can deeply affect family relationships.

Her research indicates that individuals with narcissistic traits often manipulate their environments to maintain their self-image, often at the expense of their loved ones' emotional well-being.

This pattern can create a toxic environment where family members feel invalidated or blamed for circumstances beyond their control, such as chronic illness.

It doesn't make sense to OP because their mom is not the one living with a chronic illness. OP doesn't understand why walking out from their mom's pity party was offensive.

u/MysteriousAd7168

Redditors quickly diagnosed OP's mom with narcissism, which, anecdotally, seems true

moosigirl

OP said it is undeniable that their mom made a lot more fuss about her when there are other people around

MysteriousAd7168

According to Dr. Dan Siegel, a renowned psychiatrist, "Narcissistic parents often project their own insecurities onto their children, which can lead to profound feelings of guilt and shame." This dynamic can result in long-lasting psychological ramifications, such as low self-esteem and chronic anxiety, as the child grapples with the message that their suffering is a reflection of their parents' pain. Dr. Siegel emphasizes that "understanding the roots of these feelings is crucial for healing and developing a healthier self-image."

OP almost said something petty, but stopped when they realized it would just amplify their mother's dramatics

[deleted], MysteriousAd7168

The real question is, following the mother's flawed (ableist) logic, what did she do so wrong that deserves punishment?

Amareldys, MysteriousAd7168

There is no doubt that OP's mom was affected by their chronic illness. The issue is, she made OP's illness all about herself to gain either attention or sympathy.

mostlyprobablyok

Psychological Insights on Chronic Illness and Blame

Chronic illness often triggers complex emotional responses not only in the individual suffering but also in family members.

Research from the American Psychological Association highlights that the stress of caregiving can lead to resentment and conflict, particularly when blame is assigned rather than understanding.

Creating a supportive dialogue around illness can help mitigate such tensions and foster empathy within the family unit.

It doesn't really matter what she's trying to gain from her pity parties

Wynfleue

What she said was such a messed-up thing to say. OP was more than right to walk away from that crap.

Wynfleue

It's really heartbreaking that she thought it was appropriate to say all of that, especially in front of OP

MelodyRaine

Practical approaches to improve family dynamics in cases like this include open communication and therapeutic interventions.

Family therapy can provide a safe space for expressing emotions and addressing underlying issues, guided by a professional who understands the nuances of narcissism and its impact on family structures.

Additionally, establishing boundaries can empower family members to protect their emotional health while navigating the complexities of illness and familial obligations.

OP shouldn't apologize or listen to the emotional manipulation their family is using because they did nothing wrong

obnoxious_insights

Considering what was said, walking out of the house was the kindest thing OP could have done

2Whom_it_May_Concern

What was their mom expecting anyway? Did she want OP to apologize for having a chronic illness? Was she expecting applause for whatever contribution she made in OP's life?

Panaccolade

The Role of Empathy in Healing Relationships

Understanding the emotional toll of chronic illness is crucial for fostering empathy in family relationships.

Dr. Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability suggests that cultivating empathy can lead to stronger connections and healing.

By acknowledging their own vulnerabilities, family members can create a more supportive environment that encourages healing rather than blame.

What their mom said was not okay — it was deeply hurtful. The fact that they want OP to feel bad for leaving means OP shouldn't expect a perspective shift from their family.

Implying that OP's chronic illness is a punishment sent by a deity for a perceived slight is mind-boggling. Reddit's Raised By A Narcissist community should expect a new member anytime soon.

Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates how narcissistic tendencies can lead to a profound misunderstanding of an individual's experience of chronic illness.

From a psychological standpoint, it's crucial to address these dynamics to promote healthier family interactions and emotional resilience.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Recognizing the dynamics of narcissism and chronic illness is essential for fostering healing within families.

As stated by Dr. Dan Siegel, a renowned child psychiatrist, "Understanding the emotional landscape of family relationships is crucial for promoting healing and resilience." He emphasizes that "addressing emotional wounds is key to improving overall family health and wellness."

By prioritizing empathy and open communication, families can navigate these challenging situations more effectively.