"We Are Just Enabling Her" – Man’s Wife Says He Needs To Stop Coddling His Mom

Family, family, family... we love to hate them sometimes. When family members have different expectations or values, it can create tension.

In some cases, past experiences or unresolved issues can make it challenging to navigate these situations. And in situations where there's a history of conflict, it's crucial to approach conversations with sensitivity and understanding.

By listening to each other's perspectives and validating each other's feelings, people can work towards finding a resolution that works for everyone. This can be especially important during difficult times, such as when dealing with loss or significant change.

In the OP's situation, a comment made years ago by her mother-in-law continues to affect their relationship. Despite an apology, the issue remains unresolved.

Now, with a family gathering approaching, OP's mom has asked for a favor that seems simple but has sparked tension between OP and his wife. You see, the OP moved 20 minutes from his mom after his dad died due to a job change.

So, his siblings made plans for the family to eat dinner in the city, which is about 1.5 hours away, according to the OP. The weather was a little dicey, so his mom called and asked if they could ride together

OP's wife is hesitant to accommodate the request, but OP feels a strong sense of obligation. Read the full story below to know how everything played out.

And the comments rolled in...

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OP's wife hasn’t really accepted and has not ever said “I love you back" to OP's mom

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OPs called and asked if they could ride together

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The OP told his wife that they would give his widowed mother a ride to see her kids and grandkids

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

Chose my mothers feeling over my wife’s 😬 2. I feel like an AH choosing that. Mom vs wife scenario

Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say about the story

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Nit feeling confident to drive in bad weather

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An important question to ask

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The OP knows that they don't get along

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A Redditor wanted to know the “small little cuts” in the relationship the OP was referring to between his wife and his mother, and he replied saying:

My wife made a comment once about my parents having a child out of wedlock. My parents are pretty religious and a sensitive subject for them. That caused a fight. A little jabAnd then just some other little things. Not saying goodbyes when we leave. Not saying thank you for gifts.

It sounds like the OP's mom has cooled her jets

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This Redditor wants to hear OP's wife's side of the story

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It all feels like a huge coincidence

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She is not too old to learn some independence

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It's clear that OP's family is navigating a tough web of emotions and relationships. The loss of OP's father has likely added to the tension, and the request for a ride has brought up deeper issues.

OP's wife feels strongly about not enabling what she sees as her mother-in-law's dependence, but OP is focused on supporting his mom during a difficult time. As they move forward, OP and his wife will need to find a way to balance their own needs and feelings while accommodating his mom's as well.