Redditor Wonders If She Should Tell Mom Why None Of Her Siblings Or Kids Want To Spend Time With Her

It's an admirable quality to want to help people less fortunate than ourselves, but what happens when being generous gets out of hand? Reddit user u/Pretend-Panda knows all about this. She recently shared a story in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit about how her mom's giving nature is becoming a problem.

The OP explained that her mother likes to give people's things away. In the last ten years, the OP says her mom has become very aware of her privilege, so she likes to "share" her family's things with others.

The thing is, the OP's mom does this by taking things that belong to other family members and giving them away to people she deems less privileged. For this reason, her grandchildren no longer want to visit her because they're afraid she will take their things and give them away.

The OP says she has tried to discuss this with her mom, but her mom became "snarky" with her and mostly continued doing the same thing to everyone else except her. However, the OP's mom recently called her upset because the grandchildren were going to visit their grandfather and his girlfriend, but they wouldn't come to see her.

Of course, the OP's mom doesn't believe that her behavior is wrong, so she is hurt and doesn't understand why her grandchildren don't want to visit her. The Redditor says the grandchildren miss spending time with their grandmother, but they're fed up with their things being taken and given away.

Recently, the OP's nieces and nephews asked her to talk to her mom about it again. But the OP is reluctant because she knows the only way to get through to her mom is to be ruthless.

The OP says she's willing to do it for her nieces and nephews, but she's wondering if it will make her an a**hole. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The Redditor asked if she would be an a**hole for telling her mom why none of her siblings or their kids want to spend time with her.

Reddit/Pretend-Panda

The OP explained that her mother likes to give people's things away.

Understanding Family Dynamics and Emotional Distance

The emotional distance that often arises among family members can reflect deeper psychological issues, such as unresolved conflicts or unmet emotional needs. According to research from the American Psychological Association, individuals may withdraw from family interactions as a defense mechanism against perceived emotional pain or rejection. This distancing can create a feedback loop, where the lack of communication exacerbates feelings of isolation, leading to further withdrawal.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial for facilitating healing and reconnection within families.

In the last ten years, the OP says her mom has become very aware of her privilege, so she likes to "share" her family's things with others.

The OP's mom takes things that belong to other family members and gives them away to people she deems less privileged.

Child development experts highlight that patterns of disengagement among family members can often stem from childhood experiences of neglect or emotional invalidation. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that children who felt unsupported in their emotional expression often grow into adults who struggle to maintain close familial ties. Recognizing these patterns can be the first step toward breaking the cycle of emotional distance.

For this reason, her grandchildren no longer want to visit her because they're afraid she will take their things and give them away.

The OP says she has tried to discuss this with her mom, but she became "snarky" with her and continued doing the same thing to everyone else except her.

Rebuilding Connections Within the Family

This situation presents an opportunity for family members to engage in open and honest conversations about their feelings and needs. Research from the University of Virginia suggests that family therapy can significantly improve communication patterns and emotional closeness. Utilizing therapeutic techniques, such as active listening and empathy-building exercises, can help family members reconnect and address underlying issues.

Moreover, creating regular family check-ins can foster an environment where everyone feels valued and heard, reducing the likelihood of disconnection.

The OP's mom called her upset because the grandchildren were going to visit their grandfather and his girlfriend, but they wouldn't come to see her.

Of course, the OP's mom doesn't believe that her behavior is wrong, so she is hurt and doesn't understand why her grandchildren don't want to visit her.

Addressing the root causes of family disconnection often requires courage and vulnerability. A study by Stanford University highlights that sharing personal feelings can cultivate deeper connections and promote understanding. Family members can benefit from engaging in exercises that encourage vulnerability, such as sharing their emotional experiences during family gatherings.

These practices can help mend relationships and create a more cohesive family unit, ultimately leading to a healthier emotional environment.

The Redditor says the grandchildren miss spending time with their grandmother, but they're fed up with their things being taken and given away.

Recently, the OP's nieces and nephews asked her to talk to her mom about it again.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Would the OP be out of line to bring this up with her mom again, or does it need to be done, considering her grandchildren are being affected by her behavior?

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

But the OP is reluctant because she knows the only way to get through to her mom is to be ruthless.

The OP says she's willing to do it for her nieces and nephews, but she's wondering if it will make her an a**hole.

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/Fantastic_Cow_6819

"Something is really off with this behavior."

Reddit/JMellor737

Time for an intervention.

Reddit/Scorp128

"It is deranged."

Reddit/LittleDirtyBitch

It's not healthy for the children.

Reddit/WanderGoldfinch

YWNBTA.

Reddit/sbinjax

She needs some help.

Reddit/Organic_Start_420

"She needs to fully face the wrongs she dealt to her family."

Reddit/Choice_Bid_7941

"It's theft!"

Reddit/MerryMoose923

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates a common emotional pattern within families, where unresolved feelings can create a barrier to closeness. It's essential for family members to recognize that open discussions about emotions can facilitate healing and reconnection, ultimately fostering stronger bonds.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, understanding and addressing the emotional distance within a family requires a commitment to open communication and vulnerability. By fostering an environment where feelings are expressed and valued, families can begin to heal and reconnect. Research consistently supports the notion that proactive engagement can lead to healthier familial relationships.