Boyfriend Pressures His Girlfriend to Pay for Half of His House's Mortgage When They Move In Together After Learning She Earns 150% More Than His Salary

A 22-year-old social media manager thought moving in with her boyfriend would be a straightforward next step, until money turned the whole plan upside down. He is 29, he owns the house, and the conversation changed fast once they compared salaries.

She earns far more than he does, but only because her client pays in a stronger currency, and she still lives modestly. Then her boyfriend decided that meant she should cover half of his mortgage, even though the house is already in his name.

That request left her stunned, and the comments only made the situation messier. Now the couple has a bigger problem than just moving boxes.

OP was taken aback by the demand to pay half of the mortgage on a house that's not legally hers.

OP's plan was to cover the groceries, pay for the utilities, and cook and clean for both of them since she has more free time than her boyfriend.

The boyfriend countered that since OP makes so much more than he does, the least she could do is pay for half of the mortgage, and he has no problem covering his share of the utilities and groceries.

OP found this unfair because, in the event that they break up, he will keep the house, and OP will be back to square one. If he insists on this, OP said she'd rather stay in her current apartment.

She suggested a compromise: she would furnish the entire house because it barely has any furniture, pay for the groceries, cook, clean, and they would split the utilities. OP's boyfriend shut down this suggestion as well.

He argued that if OP was going to pay rent anyway, why not pay the mortgage instead? He reasoned it was basically the same thing, and if OP refuses, she's an a**hole.

For now, OP is standing firm on her decision not to pay the mortgage; she'd happily pay rent but not the mortgage on a house that's not hers. It doesn't help that half the mortgage is three times what OP is paying for her current apartment.

BusinessSubstantial7

Below is OP's full story:

BusinessSubstantial7 BusinessSubstantial7

Social Media is a Booming Business for This Gal.

BusinessSubstantial7 BusinessSubstantial7

He Didn't Like That!

BusinessSubstantial7 BusinessSubstantial7

"He's a Smart Man, But..."

BusinessSubstantial7

The Discussion in the Comments Got a Bit Heated, and by the End of It, Everyone Was Split About Whether or Not OP Is the A**hole in This Situation.

Kettlewise

OP Quickly Answered That Her Half of the Mortgage Would Be Three Times More Than Her Current Rent.

BusinessSubstantial7

It's Clear Why OP Would Hesitate to Pay That Much Money Once You Compare It to Her Rent.

not-my-turn

Maybe the Issue Is Not Just About the Mortgage?

SupergirlKrypton

This is similar to the income-disparity rent debate between partners in Should I Ask My Partner to Split Rent Equally Despite Income Disparity?.

OP's Boyfriend Could Have Worded It Better.

nyancat645

OP Seems to Have Limited Choices: Stay Alone in Her Apartment or Live in Her Boyfriend's Bigger House, Which She Had No Say in Picking.

Music_withRocks_In

OP and Her Boyfriend Need to Dig Deeper into Why This Issue Is Becoming Such a Big Hurdle in Their Relationship.

No_Muffin_2191 No_Muffin_2191

They Need to Have a Serious Conversation About a Lot of Things.

BusinessSubstantial7

It's Reasonable to Split the Living Expenses When You Share a Home, but the Thing Is, OP Had No Choice About Where That Home Would Be.

Complex_Ad8174

Reddit Is Concerned That OP Wants to Live Rent-Free in Her Boyfriend's Home.

CranberrySafe3271

OP Is Sticking to Her Guns.

BusinessSubstantial7

Simply Put: OP Lives with Her Boyfriend, So She Has to Pay Rent. The Rent Money Will Go Towards Paying the Mortgage, but OP Is Stuck Because Her Boyfriend Said She Will Be Paying Mortgage, Not Rent.

delpigeon delpigeon

OP Is Starting to See the Light.

BusinessSubstantial7

They Were Really Arguing About the Semantics, as One Redditor Said Above.

simmiegirl

But If OP and Her Boyfriend Are Set on Moving in Together, One Person Had a Suggestion in Mind.

Louisetoherthelma Louisetoherthelma

Which OP Seemed to Like.

BusinessSubstantial7

In the End, a Majority of the Comments Were Leaning More Towards OP Not Being an A**hole...

Lurker_the_Pip

... and They Think OP's Reasoning Is Sound.

NatZaJu

We also can't overlook that OP is 22 years old and her boyfriend is 29; maybe she is not as ready as she thinks she is to take their relationship to the next level. Anyway, this is just some armchair psychology from an unqualified internet sleuth.

This couple needs to have a serious conversation before moving any further with their plans. If they move in without resolving it, OP won't worry about paying mortgage or rent for long.

Still arguing about splitting costs after moving in? See why this girlfriend rent split blew up.