Mother Faces Backlash After Moving High-Achieving Kids To Afghanistan

A mother moved her two high-achieving teen sons to Afghanistan, and now she is getting slammed for it. The post reads like a parenting plot twist, except it involves valedictorian credentials, AP Calculus, and a family spring break plan that did not exactly get approved.

OP says her 15-year-old is juggling three AP classes, top-5% grades, and competition wins, while her 17-year-old is sitting on a 4.8 GPA, running the newspaper and yearbook, and collecting scholarships like they are trophies. But behind the grades, she claims the home life is chaos, late nights, missed mornings, and too much time with friends. So she decided to “fix their behavior” by secretly withdrawing them from school and enrolling them in an American online program, then telling them they will not be coming back after spring break.

What makes it extra explosive is that she did not just relocate them, she also blindsided them with the decision.

Original Post

I (44F) and my kids (15M and 17M) have moved to Afghanistan nine days ago, and they're not happy with me right now. So here is the backstory.Both of my kids are extremely accomplished in their schooling, with my youngest who is a sophomore, is taking 3 AP classes, is in the top 5% of his sophomore year class, is one of the only people to take AP Calculus in his grade, and had won first place in his math and science competition in October and December respectively. My eldest is a senior, has a 4.8 GPA, is the valedictorian in his high school class, is heavily involved in the newspaper and yearbook staff, has won multiple journalism related awards, is class president, and has won five scholarships, including one full ride scholarship to his dream college.Even though my kids have a successful high school career, their home life is not really that good. I have to wake them up almost every morning for school and it is a headache, due to the fact that they don't get out of bed the first time I tell them to, they don't go to bed on time, and they're out with their friends too much.I have gotten stressed with their behavior, so I decided to come up with a solution; to move the kids to Afghanistan during the spring break, where their father (42M) and extended family lives, and fix their behavior. But I knew my kids and father wouldn't be on board with this, so I told them that we will be going on vacation to Afghanistan during their two week break (spring break lasts for two weeks this year instead of the normal one week during previous years).During this time I notified my kids' school that they won't be going there anymore in which they withdrew them from their rolls, and I secretly enrolled them in an American online school. Today, I told my kids that they won't be returning after spring break ends because I have decided to stay here.I told them the good news is that I enrolled them in an American online school and while it may not be the same it is still good. They then asked me why I moved them.I told them that 1) I felt alone without family for over 25 years while I was in America and 2) Their behavior is bad and I came here to fix it. They then exploded on me, telling me that the reasons I gave were total lies and I knew it and while the family one may be true, the one about our behavior was a lie.The reason why they stayed up so late was because they had a lot of homework from their AP and honors classes, and their extracurriculars ended so late, and the reason they are hanging out with their friends a lot was because social interaction is critically important at their age. They also stated that I've never cared about them and their accomplishments and that I've always focused on myself.Although the extended family agreed with my decisions, their father was very furious and called me a terrible parent because I uprooted them in an important time in their education. AITA for moving my kids?

Relocating children, especially during formative years, can significantly impact their emotional and social development.

Comment from u/LittleLily78

Comment from u/Randygilesforpres2

That whole “vacation to Afghanistan during spring break” pitch sounds harmless until the kids realize it is really a one-way decision after OP tells them they are not returning.

Parents can mitigate the adverse effects of relocation by maintaining open communication and providing reassurance during the transition.

Creating a stable routine can help children feel more secure in their new environment.

Comment from u/QueenHelloKitty

Comment from u/SigSauerPower320

The tension ramps up because the boys are not random troublemakers, they are the kind of students who are taking AP Calculus and winning journalism awards, so their anger hits different.

This is the same kind of tension as the woman judged by her sisters for keeping pregnancy cravings to herself.

Strategies for Supporting Children Through Transition

To support children during relocation, it’s crucial to engage in open discussions about their feelings and concerns.

Comment from u/Traditional-Load8228

Comment from u/Slachack1

It gets messier when OP quietly withdraws them from their school rolls and switches them to an American online school, basically rewriting their academic lives while they are already in Afghanistan.

Additionally, creating opportunities for children to connect with peers in their new environment can ease the transition.

Comment from u/PraysToHekate

Comment from u/J_Baba

And now that OP is staying in Afghanistan instead of going back, the father and extended family are left dealing with the fallout from a plan the kids never agreed to.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

Comment from u/NaturalThinker

The decision to relocate children, especially from a stable academic setting to a vastly different environment like Afghanistan, raises significant concerns about their emotional and social well-being. The abrupt move could disrupt the vital support systems that high-achieving teens have cultivated, potentially leading to feelings of isolation and uncertainty.

This situation highlights the necessity of emotional support and structured routines to mitigate the challenges that come with such a drastic change. Parents must recognize the importance of maintaining open lines of communication and encouraging social connections to help their children navigate this transition successfully.

The backlash is not about Afghanistan alone, it is about being treated like a problem to solve instead of people with a say.

For another family blowup over what a mom shares, read why she refused her sister’s demands about pregnancy cravings in this AITA pickle-and-pressuring situation.