He’s Lived In The UK Since He Was 5 , But Now His Parents Think He Should Move “Home”

A 28-year-old guy has lived in the UK since he was five. He has the British passport, no accent, and he genuinely feels British. So when his mom starts pushing him to “move home” after his girlfriend meets the family for the first time, it turns into a fight fast.

Here’s the messy part, his parents moved “home” when he was 18, but he stayed. He applied to university in the UK, got a job after graduating, and only visits his parents’ country for Christmas and the occasional family event. Then, after his girlfriend flies out post-Christmas and his future plans come up, his mom suddenly flips the script and decides he should not just visit, he should relocate.

Now he’s stuck wondering if he’s the a-hole for not treating his parents’ country like his own home, even though he’s been living the UK life for decades.

The Redditor’s mother began pressing him about when he would move “home.”

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Original Post

I (28m) have lived in the UK since I was 5 when my father got offered a job here with his company. This was meant to only be for a few years but we ended up living here for most of the next 13 years, with my family moving “home” when I was 18.

I’d already applied to university here so I stayed in the UK and then got a job here when I graduated. I never thought this was overly strange, I have my British passport, don’t have an accent and culturally feel British. I occasionally visit my parents home country, more so at the start but covid and work have got in the way of visiting more than once a year, normally for Christmas or a family event.This year my girlfriend flew out for a couple of weeks after Christmas, to meet my parents for the first time. We’ve been dating for 4 years but this was the first time my parents met her. We were talking about plans for the future and mentioned knuckling down and saving to buy a house in the next few years. I think this flicked a switch in my mum’s head.The next day she started asking me about when, not if, I planned to move “home”. We ended up having a row, the gist of which was her being upset that I see myself as British and don’t see her country as home. My point of view was surprise that this was news and being annoyed that she was upset with me.It was a fairly short conversation, and it was never brought up again for the next few weeks. After arriving back in the UK, I called my dad to let him know I’d made it home. This set him off, telling me I was an a-hole for saying this and what I’d put my mother through. We haven’t spoken much since and other members of my family have been in touch to ask why I’ve been upsetting them.AITA for not seeing my parent’s country as home?

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted.

Far-Marsupial-9014

They’re being selfish.

NittyWitty420

They are not being realistic.

tvaddict70

Home is where the heart is.

Tired-of-this-World

This happens a lot!

LowBalance4404

It’s more about perspective.

BigSillyDaisy

This is also like the Redditor who insisted everyone split family vacation lodging costs equally, and got blasted by their family.

The UK IS your home!

majoombu

Home is where you feel most comfortable.

KilljoysQueen

It’s where your life is.

CraftGold2324

They should have raised you there then!

KindraTheElfOrc

Move on and be happy with your life.

Individual-Subject19

They need to accept reality.

LeneHansen1234

It’s their home, not yours.

WillowAggravating317

The moment his girlfriend met his parents for the first time after Christmas, his mom’s “when are you moving home?” obsession kicked in.

After that row, his dad called him back in the UK and went straight for the guilt trip, saying he put his mother through something.

When other family members started messaging him to ask why he was upsetting everyone, it stopped being a one-off argument and turned into a full-blown family situation.

With his British passport and UK life already locked in, the only thing really changing is that his parents keep framing his “home” as a place he’s supposed to leave.

And there you have it—sometimes “home” isn’t about where you were born or where your family lives, but where you’ve built your life and your future. The OP might feel torn, but at the end of the day, loving your parents doesn’t mean you have to call somewhere else home. Family drama aside, it’s all about finding your own place in the world—wherever that may be.

The real question is whether his family wanted a son, or a ticket back “home” on a deadline.

For another landlord ultimatum showdown, see what happened when he was threatened with eviction over his cat: AITA for standing up to a landlord who gave him an ultimatum over his cat.