He’s Lived In The UK Since He Was 5 , But Now His Parents Think He Should Move “Home”

A 28-year-old Reddit user recently shared that he has lived in the UK since he was five after his dad took a job there. What was supposed to be a short stint ended up lasting 13 years, and when his family moved back to their home country, he stayed behind for university and then work.

Despite visiting occasionally—usually for Christmas or family events—the Redditor considers himself culturally British. This year, his girlfriend flew out to meet his parents for the first time after four years of dating.

Things were going smoothly until they started talking about saving up for a house in the near future. Apparently, this little mention of “plans for the future” flipped a switch for his mom.

The next day, she began pressing him about when he would move “home,” not if. The OP was shocked and annoyed, arguing that he sees himself as British and that her country isn’t home for him.

The conversation was short and wasn’t revisited… at first. After returning to the UK, the OP called his dad to check in, which unexpectedly set him off.

According to his dad, the OP had been insensitive and had upset his mother. Since then, communication has been sparse, and other relatives have reached out asking why he’s been causing tension.

Now the OP is left wondering if he’s the bad guy for simply feeling at home where he’s spent most of his life. AITA for not seeing his parents’ country as home?

The Redditor’s mother began pressing him about when he would move “home.”

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Here’s the original post by Reddit user’Throwaway2457689’.

I (28m) have lived in the UK since I was 5 when my father got offered a job here with his company. This was meant to only be for a few years but we ended up living here for most of the next 13 years, with my family moving “home” when I was 18.I’d already applied to university here so I stayed in the UK and then got a job here when I graduated. I never thought this was overly strange, I have my British passport, don’t have an accent and culturally feel British. I occasionally visit my parents home country, more so at the start but covid and work have got in the way of visiting more than once a year, normally for Christmas or a family event.This year my girlfriend flew out for a couple of weeks after Christmas, to meet my parents for the first time. We’ve been dating for 4 years but this was the first time my parents met her. We were talking about plans for the future and mentioned knuckling down and saving to buy a house in the next few years. I think this flicked a switch in my mum’s head.The next day she started asking me about when, not if, I planned to move “home”. We ended up having a row, the gist of which was her being upset that I see myself as British and don’t see her country as home. My point of view was surprise that this was news and being annoyed that she was upset with me.It was a fairly short conversation, and it was never brought up again for the next few weeks. After arriving back in the UK, I called my dad to let him know I’d made it home. This set him off, telling me I was an a-hole for saying this and what I’d put my mother through. We haven’t spoken much since and other members of my family have been in touch to ask why I’ve been upsetting them.AITA for not seeing my parent’s country as home?

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted.

Far-Marsupial-9014

They’re being selfish.

NittyWitty420

They are not being realistic.

tvaddict70

Home is where the heart is.

Tired-of-this-World

This happens a lot!

LowBalance4404

It’s more about perspective.

BigSillyDaisy

The UK IS your home!

majoombu

Home is where you feel most comfortable.

KilljoysQueen

It’s where your life is.

CraftGold2324

They should have raised you there then!

KindraTheElfOrc

Move on and be happy with your life.

Individual-Subject19

They need to accept reality.

LeneHansen1234

It’s their home, not yours.

WillowAggravating317

And there you have it—sometimes “home” isn’t about where you were born or where your family lives, but where you’ve built your life and your future. The OP might feel torn, but at the end of the day, loving your parents doesn’t mean you have to call somewhere else home. Family drama aside, it’s all about finding your own place in the world—wherever that may be.