30 People Share Their Ages When They Got Slapped With The Reality That Being Nice & Hardworking Was Getting Them Nowhere

Growing up, we were taught that being one of the goody-two-shoes would always attract praise; and that we would survive anything in life if we just learned to be nice and good at everything we do. Every kids' movie that we watched almost had the same storyline—a good kid gets bullied by a bad kid but the bad kid gets what they deserve at the end because of the goodness of the good kid.

Makes sense? That's like, the most classic formula in kids' movies that's kind of overused but still works at the end of the day.

But come to think of it, life was definitely simpler when we just tried to be nice and good back then, and while some of us have learned to grow up towards rebellion, a lot of us have retained this "always do good" mindset especially when we just want to get by in life as smoothly as possible. We follow the rules (although sometimes rather blindly), are kind to strangers, and work hard because we were conditioned to think that when we put out good into the world, the world will reciprocate all those things back to us in the form of blessings.

And although that is somehow true, that's definitely not the case for every single thing we encounter throughout life. We can't always expect things to go smoothly because there are people who will try to take advantage of us even if we're not doing anything remotely wrong.

So when a Redditor posted a screenshot of a certain Kate Lister asking at what age people realized that their "original plan of being really nice and working really hard," people were quick to flock to the comments section and share their stories about being slapped with the realities in life.

Take a look at some of the best responses!

1. "28. Got fired and my boss literally said, 'you used to work so much harder but are now just doing the job you were hired for. As a PhD I expect more out of you.'"

Important note, I was a contract, not full time employee and had no PTO, sick leave, heath insurance. Everyone else I worked with had all that and full time employees as not a PhD (not shaming, just saying that I wasn't paid for my experience level but expected to work harder). - Dorathy-Ann HarrisMarten Bjork

2. "Another thing is that, as a black man, I quickly started to realise that it didn't matter what I did or how much I tried to play by the rules I would always be judged by the actions of other black men and the inherent biases people have first and foremost, not by my own individual behaviour or achievements."

When I succeed, it doesn't matter because others like me didn't. When I fail, it's just proof that I can't be trusted or am inherently weak/inferior.So I realised (arguably too late) that I can't ever give a s**t about society, the opinions of others or really anything besides myself and the people I care about. As far as I'm concerned, all the rest of it can burn.

-MyrganGyrgan

Ivan Samkov

3. "I don't have a life goal anymore."

Just like Vince Vaughn's character said in *Dodgeball*, something like: if you don't have a goal, you are never disappointed, and let me tell you it feels great.I just work and chill, over and over, until I [pass away].

-Flopolopagus

La-Rel Easter

4. "A couple of months ago I realized this, almost 40 years old."

It doesn’t matter what I bring to the table. If the bosses like you, they like you. A coworker of mine does much less than I do and he was given a much larger merit raise recently. - AppropriateTime261Redd

5. "after I was passed over for a promotion working for a company for over 5 years."

It was game over and I refused to work for them anymore. I wasn't walking the new idiot manager thru everything by the nose and explaining everything to him while he makes double.Everyone says if you dont like it LEAVE ; THEN when you announce your leaving they all act shocked and surprised...............

-vodkastraightup23

Christina @ wocintechchat.com

6. "I was 35 and had just been passed over for a promotion I absolutely deserved for the third time."

The only other applicant was someone with less than three years at the company. I was literally told I was too good at my current job to promote. That was the day I walked to my desk and became an average employee, no more working overtime, no more volunteering for projects. I put in my time and I go home, no more no less. When confronted about my sudden “lack of productivity” my response was basically “I busted my a*s for years trying to move up the ladder only to be told I was too valuable to move up. Since I know this is a dead end job now, I’m not doing anything extra” - shredder826Sigmund

7. "2 weeks into a job at a nursing home."

I was put in the unit that required 2 people due to the patients being immobile. I asked for assistance, the two nurses just sat at the desk and wouldn’t help (night shift). I got yelled at for not getting things done on time, went home and had a seizure. Until then, my seizures were controlled for 13 years. I was 21 and the date was 9/11. I returned to the office later that day to talk to the manager and was told I would never amount to anything in my life. I quit. - Amanda ReichaMedicAlert UK

8. "30. Employee of the year at an IT company and got a belt buckle."

Moved on, things worked out very well, but I never gave a company my life again. - willtag70Marjan Blan | @marjanblan

9. "45. When I finally left a job where the owner of the company berated and yelled at me constantly in front of a room full of people."

I was NOT bad at my job, he was just a garbage human being who wanted to get a ride out of me. He never, ever, got one. Which is why he kept getting more persistent.When you’re the sole provider of a family, it’s harder to just deck a mf in the face and walk out.

-shazamallamadingdong

StockSnap

10. "21 after I spent 70hrs a week at my job as a manager in a failing store making $9 an hr and still being under appreciated."

I think I got a 5 cent raise after a year. - heybunnybunnyElisa Ventur

11. "It's the last part about taking on more than you should that is the mistake most people make, myself included."

It wasn't until I was in my mid thirties and through therapy learned I can say 'no' and still be 'nice'. In fact, people tend to respect people who respect their own boundaries.As a corollary, I can demand (not just ask) to be treated / paid fairly and also still be considered nice and respected.The trick for me was I had to learn how to give myself the same respect I gave others. That was hard, still is, but at least I'm better at recognizing when I'm being disrespectful to myself.

-theDaninDanger

StartupStockPhotos

12. "43-this year-when I realized that I’ve worked for the same place for 12 years, done everything job they asked, worked 60+ hours a weeks for YEARS."

Ashamed to say choosing the job sometimes over my kids, thinking I was doing right by them. They are adults now and I’m full of regrets about how much I was away from them. Plus, essential workers got s**t on during COVID (I’m a nurse and I LOVE my job). Once I let go of the idea I could make a difference in the workplace culture, I felt so free! I wish I’d realized this sooner. - Korinne ReneeVladimir Fedotov

13. "24/25. Basically, after I'd been in the world of work for a few years to see how the game operates."

Quiet, diligent workers aren't valued nearly as much as louder but far less knowledable individuals. Rude awakening for me. - bobbyjoe221Dylan Gillis

14. "As soon as I joined the 'REAL' world a.k.a my first job!"

You know, as a student you reap what you saw, which was almost always in my favour cause I'm what you can call good mixture of smart and hardworking (nothing special but definitely above average)!That s**t doesn't help you when you step out there! You win or you fail and most of the times it depends on someone else! S**t's depressing sometimes NGL!!!

-stinky_fingers_

Annie Spratt

15. "Like 30? Was my job before my current job where I worked crazy shift patterns over their busiest period when others refused making them millions to then get 0 bonus whilst others got bonuses and then they back tracked on offering me a new contract."

Literally had me train my replacement without my knowledge who would get paid less. Just to be told by my manager he did all he could to fight for me.Now I realise that the only person looking out for me is me and I won’t be walked over again.

-cotch85

Anna Shvets

16. "23 when I was in the Air Force."

I'd sign up for volunteering, do extra assignments, crushing exams then when my flight was getting new bases the group f**k up gets Italy and I got Idaho. All that work meant nothing. - kikiweakyNick Morales

17. "About 15"

Coincidentally that’s when I entered Highschool“Don’t listen to people older than you kids, it doesn’t get better after middle school,” says Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist who emphasizes the challenges of adolescence on her website, drramani.com.“It gets way worse,” she adds, highlighting the importance of resilience during these formative years.Jeswin Thomas

18. "28, when my boss stole a deposit and tried to have me prosecuted for it."

The case eventually got thrown out for lack of evidence, but defending myself cost several thousand dollars more than what she'd taken. - Chelle BesingTim Gouw

19. "Working at Whole Foods. December 23rd, 2016."

We were busy as heck, everything looked great, we were cranking with customers.Regional president showed up, pulled me aside. She says, "one of your part timers doesn't have an apron on. Why is it every time I'm here, one of your team is out of dress code?"Didn't last long after that. Took my leading the area numbers elsewhere, and don't regret the move for a second. Haven't set foot in one of their stores since, and never will.

-Nick Inzalaco

Brittani Burns

20. "Heh. Keeps happening. When I was 25, realized I had to go take things I wanted in my career."

Then I mellowed to my default style. At 40, I had to make it about myself again and not rely on anyone else’s “attaboy.”Now in my mid 50s, I do a great job, but it’s not for the boss or for any affirmation. I know what value I bring, but it’s for my kids’ college and my retirement accounts. If those aren’t being served, I’ll move on.

-PapaSteveRocks

Patricia Prudente

21. "I was 16 years old when I was sent to my 6th foster home and I realized that no matter how hard you work, with a good attitude, and doing as much as you can, some people will never give a fu*k about you."

BUT when I was 16 this last foster family wanted to adopt me because of how good I was, so it was then that I learned that there really is people that will see the good and you will be rewarded. You just have to disqualify people quickly and try to keep moving till you find the right people to work with.This happened in my career too, when I was 24, 28, 32, and 36.. I made moves after working as hard as I could consistently and performing at a high level but as soon as I realized it wasn’t valued?I knew that wasn’t the right “foster family” since I’m an adult now, I can choose to stay or leave. So I nicely, kindly and with thanks left whichever the job was not serving me and have continued to grow personally and financially from this.

-chriszmichael

Bench Accounting

22. "23, I learned that incompetence gets rewarded and hard work and dedication got punished."

- Dr. Daniel Goleman, an emotional intelligence expert, emphasizes that "being nice and hardworking is often not enough; understanding the dynamics of relationships and emotional intelligence is crucial for success." He highlights the importance of navigating social complexities in both personal and professional realms. For more insights, visit his website.

Sergey Zolkin

23. "20 was when I finally realised being a good boy was getting me nowhere and I've been a selfish a*****e ever since."

- MyrganGyrgan

Crew

24. "I was 25."

My first couple bosses liked me enough that I did get a very minor promotion after a few years, but once the boss got replaced by someone else who seemed to hate me (I have no clue why), I quickly found myself being the guy who did the jobs nobody wanted. And because I was a casual, when those tasks weren't there I wasn't given shifts.Never again.

-Frogmouth_Fresh

Glenn Carstens-Peters

25. "I dunno - I have worked really hard in my profession for 20 years and have been consistently rewarded & treated like a valued contributor."

I know the whole purpose on this sub is to p**s and moan but just wanted to say it doesn’t have to be like this for everyone - ZeroEffort_Brooke Cagle

26. "I’m 32 and only just now, in the past 2 years or so, have I stopped feeling like the world is fundamentally good and just, and that if you work hard and go above and beyond for people then good things would happen to you."

I’m ashamed it took me so long to shake off that naïveté and realise that people will happily use you and take advantage of you without a second thought if you let them. Now I’m starting to do the bare minimum that I need to do just to get through the day. - MVIVNSimon Abrams

27. "Hmmm the first time it happened I think I was 19 or 20."

Instead of putting in my two week’s notice, I worked two jobs for about 2-3 months to help them transition. I worked my a** off. Usually when someone leaves they throw some sort of party, everyone signs a card, etc. I was told I was the best manager that ever worked at that location. I didn’t even get so much as a card or a goodbye on my last day. They were upset that I was leaving. When you leave a job, most of the time they’re going to be mad no matter how much you do to help them. - Bri Marie-McKnight VaughtAnna Shvets

28. "20. When I managed three businesses for 500 dollars a week and worked 7 days a week for three months"

. - FTMcami

Firmbee.com

29. "I was 29, nearly having a burnout."

My boss sent me to a workshop learning to cope with heavy workload and saying “no” to work. On my first try in real life (on the job), I got fired for refusing to obey my managers instructions. - Marrit de JongChristian Erfurt

30. "I swear, this is what I love about my company."

Putting the wage discussion aside for a moment, the non wage benefits and company culture are amazing. 1 month into my temp to perm assignment, my MIL passed away. I told my hr person, 100% ready to walk away and instead was met with "family first, go do what you need to do". Almost 6 years later and im still here. - Devon Rupp

Priscilla Du Preez

Don't get discouraged because of these stories, though, because as much as it may seem like a universal experience, there are still good bosses and companies out there who do value their employees like actual humans! It's a shame, though, that a lot of people are experiencing this—but hey, that's the reality of life.

Do you have a similar story to share? Comment down your thoughts or share this article for all your family and friends to see!