Redditor Wants To Skip Visiting Parents For Christmas Because They Might Have To Reveal Their Gender Transformation Procedure In Progress

Christmas plans can get messy fast when family expectations collide with a year that has already taken everything out of you. For one Redditor, the pressure is even bigger because the holiday visit would come with a conversation they are not ready to have.

After switching jobs, buying a house, and starting a medical transition, OP and their partner are exhausted and unsure about traveling to see OP's parents. The problem is that the family still expects them to show up, and backing out could mean disappointment, questions, and a very awkward holiday call.

Now OP is stuck between protecting their energy and avoiding a painful reveal. Read on.

OP asks:

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OP and their partner have had a very demanding year

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On top of all that, they are also undergoing a gender-transitioning procedure

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OP's holiday dilemma is a messy one, and it has less to do with Christmas itself than with everything piling up at once.

They usually visit OP's family for the holidays, but this year OP is simply not up to it

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Their parents still believe they are coming, and they don't know how to do it without breaking their hearts

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So, will they be the A-hole?

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That is where the tension really starts to show.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the A-hole:

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If you feel like it's better to stay home - stay home.

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"It’s totally reasonable that you’ll be available a lot less often."

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The comments quickly turned into a mix of support and blunt honesty.

This also echoes the Redditor who wanted to skip a partner’s family reunion after they mocked their financial struggles.

Real-life example:

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"Don’t be afraid to tell people you’re busy doing nothing with each other."

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OP needs to let them know that they’re not coming, though.

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And that is really the heart of it, a hard conversation is still better than a last-minute surprise.

OP said:

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"You're entitled not to want to visit people."

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Want to host?

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Life is exhausting.

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That's the reasonable thing to do

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"My child is my child. Nothing will ever change that."

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No parent wants to see their child struggle.

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Does the family know?

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"Just talk to them about it like you would anything else."

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OP does have a problem, but it is not something that can’t be worked out. They are clearly in a loving relationship, and from what we could understand from their posts, their family is aware of their sexual orientation and is okay with it.

So, the biggest problem is not disappointing the people who love them the most. We kind of think they will understand…

OP is trying to balance honesty, family expectations, and a lot of emotional weight at once, which is never easy during the holidays.

For another holiday blowup, see whether it was wrong to cancel parents’ visit over unexpected challenges: Should I Cancel My Parents Visit Due to Unexpected Circumstances?