Redditors Render Advice to Confused Lady with OCD on How to Stop Her Roommate's Friend from Always Bathing at Their House

A 28-year-old woman is dealing with a roommate who keeps letting her friend show up to take baths at their place, like it’s a free spa with no checkout time. And the twist is, the OP is the one who ends up deep cleaning the shower afterward, because otherwise it just feels… wrong.

On paper, it should be simple: her roommate pays rent, so she can have guests. In real life, though, the friend’s repeated bathing turns the bathroom into a trigger zone. The OP is already exhausted by the cleanup, and it gets even more complicated because the roommate’s logic is basically, “She’s entitled to use the space,” while the OP is stuck feeling unsafe and not clean in their own shower.

Now the comments are rolling in, and everyone has a different take on who’s being rude, who’s being unreasonable, and who’s quietly drowning in shower-duty.

The OP writes

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The OP is the one who deep cleans the shower, but it can be exhausting

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The situation described highlights the complexities of living with someone who has obsessive-compulsive disorder, particularly in relation to cleanliness. The tension between personal boundaries and the roommate's friend frequently bathing in their shared space illustrates how these conflicts can arise. It is crucial to recognize that individuals with OCD often grapple with significant anxiety concerning order and hygiene. This understanding is vital for fostering empathy within shared living environments. By acknowledging the emotional weight of these concerns, both roommates and their guests can navigate the delicate balance between respecting personal space and accommodating the needs of those with mental health challenges.

This has been a nightmare scenario of not feeling safe or clean in a place like the shower

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And the comments from other Redditors roll in...

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The OP says she’s the one deep cleaning the shower, and that’s when the “it’s not rocket science” crowd starts showing up in the replies.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I think I might be the AH because she pays rent to live here and should be able to do what she wants too.

This Redditor wants to know how some people do not know basic manners

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The roommate's friend should have the courtesy to clean up after herself

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When the OP admits she might be the AH because the roommate pays rent, the thread immediately shifts to basic manners and who should clean up after bathing.

This is also like the ex-roommate who ditched rent, leaving the OP to cover everything.

Research published in the American Journal of Psychology highlights that individuals with OCD may engage in compulsive behaviors to manage their anxiety, often resulting in misunderstandings with those around them.

When a roommate's friend frequently bathes at the house, it can trigger significant distress for someone with OCD, exacerbating their compulsive tendencies.

Awareness of these triggers is vital for creating a harmonious living environment.

Stop cleaning up after her, as cleaning isn't rocket science

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Forcing the roommate to be accountable

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After people point out how the friend’s constant bathing keeps triggering the OP’s distress, the debate turns into accountability, not just comfort.

Strategies for Managing Roommate Conflicts

To effectively navigate conflicts involving OCD and other mental health issues, open communication is key.

Encouraging a dialogue about boundaries regarding cleanliness and shared spaces can help roommates develop a mutual understanding.

Leaving a ring of dirt around the tub was a normal occurrence

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The roommate's friend is not being sanitized and does not clean up after herself

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By the time someone suggests forcing the roommate to be accountable, everyone is basically arguing over whether the friend’s routine is a boundary issue or a cleanliness problem.

Some Redditors say that when the OP does decide to bring it up, she should try to talk to them as if it were the first time she had ever been upset by it and that she was addressing it immediately. It could easily become confrontational if the OP allows her OCD to amplify her language or tone or to convey that she finds them repulsive.

All the OP is asking is that they clean up after themselves in the shower. In the end, the OP was declared not the AH.

Have a schedule for cleaning and division of activities and responsibilities

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This scenario underscores the critical need for awareness of mental health issues within communal living situations.

Furthermore, educating roommates about OCD can promote empathy and reduce stigma.

Resources like support groups and educational materials can provide valuable insights into the experiences of individuals with OCD.

Creating an environment of understanding can significantly improve the quality of shared living experiences.

The OP might be stuck cleaning up the bathroom, but the real mess is who thinks they’re allowed to treat it like theirs.

For more family chaos, see how one sibling’s reckless driving turned a road trip into an AITA fight.