Redditor Asks For Advice On How To Get His Wife To Spend More Time With Their Baby And Less Time Working

Becoming a new parent is a challenging and wonderful time. Of course, it goes without saying that we want to spend as much precious time as possible with our new bundle of joy.

However, for one Redditor, it has been a challenge to get his wife to prioritize their baby over her job. Reddit user u/Happy_Twist_7156 shared his story in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit.

He explained that he and his wife are both very career-driven. The OP works in the medical field, and his job is very flexible, so he has changed his working hours and cut back significantly since their daughter was born.

Meanwhile, the OP's wife has taken on more work since having the baby, and she's working at least 80 hours each week. The OP discussed setting aside some specified "baby time" with his wife, and she agreed that from 5 to 7 each night would be set aside for the baby's nighttime routine.

However, recently, while bathing their daughter, the OP's wife left to take a work call. The Redditor took over and finished bathing the baby, but she started to cry for her mother.

The OP says the baby had a full meltdown, screaming for her mommy for 45 minutes. The OP calmed her down as much as he could and got her to bed before confronting his wife about her priorities.

The couple had a terrible argument, and now the OP is wondering if he's the a**hole here. Keep scrolling to see how the people of Reddit reacted.

The OP asked if he's an a**hole for expecting his wife to choose their baby over her job.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

The Redditor explained that he and his wife are both very career driven.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

The OP says his working hours are pretty flexible.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

Understanding Parental Work-Life Balance

The struggle for work-life balance is a common theme in many families, particularly when one parent feels their presence is diminishing. According to Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher, "When parents are overwhelmed by work, it can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy, which can strain family dynamics." These feelings can significantly impact the emotional well-being of both parents and children. When one parent spends excessive time at work, it can create a sense of emotional distance. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, emphasizes that "open communication about needs and expectations is vital for maintaining a healthy family environment."

Since their daughter was born, the OP has cut back on his work.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

But the OP's wife has taken on more responsibility at her job.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

She's working 80+ hours a week.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

Moreover, the role of attachment theory is relevant here. The bond between parents and their children is foundational, and when one parent is frequently absent due to work, it can lead to disruptions in that attachment. Studies suggest that consistent parental involvement is crucial for healthy child development, as it fosters security and emotional stability. Understanding this can motivate parents to prioritize quality time with their children.

Encouraging both parents to establish designated family time can facilitate stronger connections and enhance the emotional health of the family unit.

The OP talked to his wife about setting aside some designated "baby time."

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

Recently, she walked away from her daughter in the bath to take a work call.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

The baby screamed for her mommy to come back.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

The Emotional Toll of Parenting

Parenting is inherently a demanding role that requires emotional labor, which can be exacerbated by work commitments. A clinical psychologist explains that when one parent feels overwhelmed by work, it can lead to emotional burnout, affecting their interactions with their child. Research indicates that emotional burnout can manifest in irritability and withdrawal, which can further strain the parent-child relationship.

Recognizing these signs early and implementing self-care practices can help parents manage stress and maintain healthy relationships with their children.

The OP said their daughter was screaming for 45 minutes.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

The OP managed to get the baby to bed.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

The OP confronted his wife when she was done with her call.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

Additionally, exploring the concept of parental guilt can be beneficial. Many parents experience guilt when they feel they are not meeting their children's emotional needs due to work commitments. Studies show that this guilt can lead to compensatory behaviors, where parents overindulge their children in other areas, which may not necessarily address the underlying issues. Understanding the source of this guilt can help parents develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Open communication about feelings and expectations can also help mitigate guilt and promote a more balanced family life.

The couple had a big fight and now the OP is wondering if he's the a**hole.

Reddit/Happy_Twist_7156

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/britt_britt_britt_m

She doesn't want to be overlooked.

Reddit/Amareldys

Strategies for Strengthening Family Bonds

To counteract feelings of detachment, it’s crucial to implement strategies that prioritize family engagement. Research suggests that family rituals, such as regular game nights or shared meals, can significantly enhance familial connections. These rituals provide opportunities for bonding and communication, helping to strengthen relationships despite busy schedules.

Additionally, collaborating on family projects can create a sense of teamwork and shared responsibility, allowing for quality time while also engaging in meaningful activities.

Sounds like she's having regrets.

Reddit/FinnFinnFinnegan

NAH.

Reddit/ANBU_Black_0ps

Promises, promises.

Reddit/morgaina

Lastly, considering the importance of shared values in parenting can create a cohesive family environment. Research from developmental psychology indicates that families who articulate and share their values tend to have stronger connections. Encouraging discussions about values and goals can help align parental efforts and provide a united front for their children.

This alignment fosters a secure environment where children can thrive emotionally, knowing their parents are on the same page.

Projects, ick!

Reddit/deleted

"I feel bad for your kid."

Reddit/Job_Moist

She needs help.

Reddit/Expert_Aspect_9905

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP is being too hard on his wife, or does she need to rethink her priorities now that she's a mother?

We would love to hear your opinions on this topic. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the often difficult balance parents must strike between work commitments and family involvement. It's essential for couples to communicate openly about their needs and make conscious efforts to prioritize family time to foster emotional connections.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, achieving a balance between work and family life is a significant challenge for many parents. Research supports the need for open communication, shared values, and intentional family time to foster healthy relationships. By implementing strategies that prioritize emotional connections, parents can create a nurturing environment that benefits both their children and themselves.