Father Makes Daughter Read Books Before Using Her Phone, But The Internet Says He Might’ve Gone Too Far

A father and his 16-year-old daughter are in a full-on battle over one thing: phone time. The rule sounds simple on paper, read books first, then earn electronics time, but in real life it turns into a stress bomb that both of them feel in their bones.

For context, he says she studies 8 hours a day for brutal college exams, then gets 4 hours of free time. He noticed she was spending that time watching drama series and scrolling social media, so he started requiring an hour of reading for every hour she wants her phone. She snapped back that it basically steals her already limited downtime and adds even more pressure, and the two of them admit they are both short-tempered, so “talking it through” usually turns into an argument.

Now he’s asking Reddit if he went too far, or if she’s just being dramatic in the middle of a high-stakes test season.

Things got heated quickly. He admitted that both of them have short tempers and can’t really talk things through without it turning into an argument.

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Original Post

My (43M) daughter (16 F) is currently studying 8 hours per day for her college tests, I am very strict with her study time and make sure she is indeed studying and not wasting time, since she wants to pass in a very hard course. That leaves her with about 4 hours of free time, where I used to let her do whatever she wanted, she likes to watch drama series and browse on her social media mainly.

Recently I've begun thinking that she's spending way too much time doing these things that won't help to get her into college, so I decided to do a new rule, where she needs to read in order to get time with her electronics. Basically, if she reads for an hour she can use her phone (or other electronics) for an hour as well.Of course, she hated this rule and is currently very upset at me saying I reduced her already limited free time and that doing this won't help her at all, it will only add more stress. We're both very short-tempered and we can't talk reasonably without arguing, so I decided to ask here to see if I'm on the wrong side.I do want her to have time to do what she wants, but I also want her to read the books that are valuable for her college tests (here in my country there's a list of mandatory books you need to read for the tests). Am I really the asshole here? Is she just being dramatic?Edit: Is good to know that we're not from the US, here where I live college tests don't offer a lot of second chances. I know that in the US you have to have a pre-med degree or something like that, here you "just" have to pass this extremely hard and competitive test in order to go to med school, that's why she has to study so much, the grade she has to get in order to pass is very high. In her previous years of high school, she studied much less. (She's okay with that just to clarify, not forcing this on her either.)Edit: She wants to study Medicine.Edit: Just to clarify a few things, she does want to study Medicine, I didn't force that on her, she chose it on her own.She does take breaks in between, is not 8 hours straight, 4 hours in the morning with 30 minutes as break, 1 hour for lunch, 4 hours in the afternoon, 30 minutes as break as well. Sorry for not clarifying that.Edit: There's a lot of people criticizing my relationship with my daughter, I realized I was on the wrong, and talked to her so that we could work a better schedule that incorporates her reading and still gives her time to do what she likes. We always work together on her schedules, sometimes I am a little overbearing and I do realize that now, please don't make such rude comments as we actually get along pretty well. I meant well and just wanted her to focus, thank you for changing my mind.Edit: Since there's a lot of people asking, we're from Brazil, Medicine is our most competitive subject, you have to practically ace a test called ENEM (our equivalent to SATs) in order to get a slight chance to get in. 8 hours is actually pretty uncommon here, most students who want to go do a lot more than what I think is reasonable and do so for more than one year in order to pass.

This situation highlights the delicate balance parents must strike between guiding their children and allowing them the autonomy to make their own choices. While the father's intention to encourage reading is commendable, the backlash suggests that such stringent rules may do more harm than good. The risk of fostering resistance among teenagers is real; when faced with strict limitations, they might push back even harder against parental authority.

An approach that involves collaboration rather than command could be more effective. Establishing mutual guidelines that respect both the value of reading and the appeal of digital engagement may lead to a healthier relationship with both activities. It is essential for parents to recognize that involving their children in the decision-making process can make them feel respected and more likely to adhere to agreed-upon expectations.

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted.

Reddit u/deleted

“She’s going to resent you.”

Reddit u/DogsReadingBooks

That’s when the “read for an hour, get your phone for an hour” rule enters the chat, and it immediately hits her like a punishment.

The situation involving the father and his 16-year-old daughter highlights the delicate balance parents must maintain when setting boundaries around technology use. The father's intention to promote reading through a "read before screen time" rule reflects a common desire among parents to encourage educational habits. However, the backlash suggests that strict regulations can lead to unintended consequences, such as feelings of mistrust or resentment towards authority figures.

Instead of imposing rigid rules, fostering open communication could have been a more effective strategy. Allowing children to voice their thoughts about screen time not only cultivates trust but also empowers them to take responsibility for their choices. This approach would likely create a healthier relationship with technology, ensuring that educational pursuits and leisure activities coexist harmoniously.

“Studying is more effective with breaks.”

Reddit u/VixHarlow

“You’re not helping her.”

Reddit u/yqsia

“People need rest.”

Reddit u/Confident-Stand-9236

She’s already studying 8 hours a day for those mandatory books, so every extra demand feels like someone moved the goalposts.

Encouraging Productive Downtime

Additionally, she advises parents to model reading behavior themselves, highlighting the value and enjoyment of reading. This strategy can inspire children to embrace reading, making it a natural part of their daily routine while still allowing for screen time as a reward.

“YTA.”

Reddit u/TopaztheBigBoss

“Loosen up.”

Reddit u/Mrsbreezyb

“She needs to relax sometimes.”

Reddit u/ten_before_six

This situation highlights the delicate balance parents must strike between educational enrichment and personal freedom. The father’s attempt to impose a “read before screen time” rule reflects a genuine concern for his daughter's academic success. However, rather than fostering a love for reading, this rigid approach risks creating resentment towards both books and screens.

When young people feel forced into learning, it can stifle their natural curiosity. It's crucial for parents to recognize that reading and screen time can coexist harmoniously. By encouraging exploration in both areas, parents can help cultivate a more engaging and enriching educational experience for their children, rather than setting up a battleground over time management.

This is giving “AITA for getting angry at the honking driver after accidentally blocking a parking spot,” right there in the parking lot altercation.

“She’s going to burn out.”

Reddit u/phelgmdounuts

You’re stressing her out more.

Reddit u/ORDI_OMEGA

“The studying is way too much.”

Reddit u/brandynunu

The real complication is that both father and daughter admit they can’t have a calm conversation without it turning into a fight.

The situation surrounding the Brazilian father's "read before screen time" rule raises important questions about the balance between structure and freedom in a teenager's life. While the father's intentions were rooted in promoting responsibility and academic focus, the potential consequences of such a rigid rule cannot be overlooked. The daughter's extensive study hours already indicate a heavy academic load, and adding a mandatory reading requirement may have inadvertently contributed to feelings of burnout.

In the quest to encourage productive habits, it is crucial for parents to recognize the value of unstructured time. Allowing teenagers the freedom to explore their interests without constant oversight can foster creativity and self-discovery, essential components of personal growth. Instead of imposing strict guidelines, parents might consider integrating flexibility into their daily routines, allowing their children to engage in activities that bring them joy. This approach could alleviate stress and cultivate a more positive relationship with both academic responsibilities and leisure time.

She’s gonna end up hating you!

Reddit u/deleted

“Let the girl relax.”

Reddit u/deleted

“Your daughter needs a break.”

Reddit u/J_Is_Typing

And with no real second chances on the test where they live, his strictness feels justified to him, even if she thinks it’s crushing her free time.

The recent situation involving a Brazilian father and his "read before screen time" rule reveals the complexities of modern parenting. While his intentions were rooted in promoting education and limiting screen time, the backlash suggests a need for a more nuanced understanding of parental control versus emotional connection.

This father’s experience highlights the importance of fostering an environment where children feel comfortable discussing their feelings about technology. Instead of imposing strict rules, engaging in open family conversations about the role of screens in their lives could lead to healthier habits and more responsible choices for his daughter.

“You can’t be serious.”

Reddit u/cmdr_wds

In the end, this dad’s story became less about enforcing discipline and more about rediscovering balance. His heart was in the right place, but his daughter reminded him — and all of us — that success doesn’t come from endless effort alone; it comes from rest, trust, and room to breathe. Sometimes, the best lesson a parent can teach isn’t about studying harder, but about learning when to let go.

The father's intentions are rooted in a genuine concern for his daughter's academic success, a sentiment echoed by many parents. However, his rigid enforcement of the "read before screen time" rule illustrates a familiar psychological dynamic. In seeking to exert control, he may inadvertently increase his daughter's stress levels and resistance, particularly as she navigates her teenage years and strives for independence. Instead of imposing strict regulations, a more collaborative strategy could foster a healthier relationship. This shift would honor her need for downtime while still emphasizing the value of her educational aspirations.

The debate surrounding the father's "read before screen time" rule highlights the delicate balance parents must strike in today's technology-driven world. While the intention behind the rule is commendable—aiming to prioritize reading and education—its execution may have inadvertently stifled the daughter's autonomy. As she dedicates significant hours to her college entrance studies, the father's approach risks creating resentment rather than fostering a love for learning. Open communication between parents and teenagers is essential in navigating these waters. Establishing reasonable boundaries while allowing for some degree of independence can lead to a more harmonious relationship. Ultimately, the goal should be to create an environment where both academic pursuits and leisure activities coexist positively, nurturing well-being in this digital age.

Now he’s wondering if controlling the phone is helping her study, or just lighting the fuse that makes everything worse.

That family fallout gets even messier in a man refusing to sell $100K crypto to cover his uncle’s $20K gambling debt.