Father Makes Daughter Read Books Before Using Her Phone, But The Internet Says He Might’ve Gone Too Far

A dad in Brazil thought he was just being a good parent. But when his new “read before screen time” rule backfired, he ended up questioning whether he’d crossed a line.

The father, 43, has a 16-year-old daughter who’s been putting in some serious hours studying for her college entrance exams. She’s aiming for Medicine — one of the toughest and most competitive programs in the country — and she’s currently studying eight hours a day.

He admits he’s a bit strict when it comes to her study schedule. He keeps a close eye to make sure she’s actually studying and not getting distracted since the goal is to get into an extremely selective university.

After her marathon study sessions, she has around four hours of free time. Usually, she spends that time watching drama series or scrolling through social media — something most teens can relate to.

But recently, her dad started to worry that those hours were being “wasted.” He decided that her downtime should also be “productive.”

That’s when he introduced a brand-new rule: for every hour she reads, she earns an hour of screen time. One hour with a book equals one hour with her phone, laptop, or any other electronic device.

His daughter? Not thrilled. She told him the new system just made her already limited free time even more stressful, insisting that it wouldn’t help her perform better — just burn her out faster.

Things got heated quickly. He admitted that both of them have short tempers and can’t really talk things through without it turning into an argument.

So, like any modern parent in crisis, he turned to Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole community for judgment. He wanted to know: was he being unreasonable, or was his daughter overreacting?

He explained that in Brazil, the college entrance exams (especially for Medicine) are brutal — a single test determines your future, and retaking it isn’t simple. Unlike the U.S., where there’s a longer path to med school, Brazilian students have to crush this one exam straight out of high school.

He emphasized that his daughter chose to study Medicine on her own. He didn’t push her toward it — he just wants to support her ambition and help her succeed.

To clarify, she’s not glued to her desk for eight hours straight. She studies in two four-hour blocks, with half-hour breaks and a proper lunch in between.

But the backlash from Reddit was intense. Commenters accused him of micromanaging his daughter’s life and stealing what little personal time she had left. Many pointed out that downtime — even if it’s spent watching K-dramas or scrolling TikTok — is essential for mental health.

After reading through hundreds of responses, the dad took a step back. He realized maybe he had gone too far.

In an update, he shared that he sat down with his daughter to work out a better balance. They built a new schedule together that includes both reading time and guilt-free relaxation.

He admitted he can be a bit overbearing but said his heart was in the right place — he just wanted her to have the best chance at success. “Please don’t make such rude comments,” he added. “We actually get along pretty well.”

In the end, he thanked everyone for helping him see things differently. Parenting, it turns out, isn’t always about setting strict rules — sometimes it’s about listening, adjusting, and trusting your kid to find their own rhythm.

And Reddit’s verdict? He wasn’t a terrible dad — just one who needed a gentle reminder that even the hardest-working students deserve a little time to just be.

Things got heated quickly. He admitted that both of them have short tempers and can’t really talk things through without it turning into an argument.

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Here's the original post by Reddit user 'throw_23away'.

My (43M) daughter (16 F) is currently studying 8 hours per day for her college tests, I am very strict with her study time and make sure she is indeed studying and not wasting time, since she wants to pass in a very hard course. That leaves her with about 4 hours of free time, where I used to let her do whatever she wanted, she likes to watch drama series and browse on her social media mainly.Recently I've begun thinking that she's spending way too much time doing these things that won't help to get her into college, so I decided to do a new rule, where she needs to read in order to get time with her electronics. Basically, if she reads for an hour she can use her phone (or other electronics) for an hour as well.Of course, she hated this rule and is currently very upset at me saying I reduced her already limited free time and that doing this won't help her at all, it will only add more stress. We're both very short-tempered and we can't talk reasonably without arguing, so I decided to ask here to see if I'm on the wrong side.I do want her to have time to do what she wants, but I also want her to read the books that are valuable for her college tests (here in my country there's a list of mandatory books you need to read for the tests). Am I really the asshole here? Is she just being dramatic?Edit: Is good to know that we're not from the US, here where I live college tests don't offer a lot of second chances. I know that in the US you have to have a pre-med degree or something like that, here you "just" have to pass this extremely hard and competitive test in order to go to med school, that's why she has to study so much, the grade she has to get in order to pass is very high. In her previous years of high school, she studied much less. (She's okay with that just to clarify, not forcing this on her either.)Edit: She wants to study Medicine.Edit: Just to clarify a few things, she does want to study Medicine, I didn't force that on her, she chose it on her own.She does take breaks in between, is not 8 hours straight, 4 hours in the morning with 30 minutes as break, 1 hour for lunch, 4 hours in the afternoon, 30 minutes as break as well. Sorry for not clarifying that.Edit: There's a lot of people criticizing my relationship with my daughter, I realized I was on the wrong, and talked to her so that we could work a better schedule that incorporates her reading and still gives her time to do what she likes. We always work together on her schedules, sometimes I am a little overbearing and I do realize that now, please don't make such rude comments as we actually get along pretty well. I meant well and just wanted her to focus, thank you for changing my mind.Edit: Since there's a lot of people asking, we're from Brazil, Medicine is our most competitive subject, you have to practically ace a test called ENEM (our equivalent to SATs) in order to get a slight chance to get in. 8 hours is actually pretty uncommon here, most students who want to go do a lot more than what I think is reasonable and do so for more than one year in order to pass.

Balancing Screen Time and Reading

Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a child development expert, emphasizes the importance of balance in children's activities. She notes that while reading is essential for cognitive development, it's also crucial for teenagers to have some autonomy over their leisure activities.

According to Dr. Bryson, overly restrictive rules can lead to resistance and rebellion. Instead, she suggests a more collaborative approach, where parents and children can agree on guidelines that incorporate both reading and screen time in a way that feels fair and engaging.

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted.

Reddit u/deleted

“She’s going to resent you.”

Reddit u/DogsReadingBooks

Psychologists often observe that family dynamics play a significant role in shaping a child's relationship with technology. Dr. Michael Thompson, a child psychologist, argues that when parents impose strict rules, it can create a sense of mistrust and resentment.

He advocates for open dialogues where children can express their feelings about screen time. This approach not only fosters trust but also helps children develop self-regulation skills, allowing them to make better choices regarding their usage.

“Studying is more effective with breaks.”

Reddit u/VixHarlow

“You’re not helping her.”

Reddit u/yqsia

“People need rest.”

Reddit u/Confident-Stand-9236

Encouraging Productive Downtime

Experts suggest that parents can encourage productive downtime without imposing strict rules. Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting coach, recommends allowing children to choose books related to their interests, making reading feel less like a chore.

Additionally, she advises parents to model reading behavior themselves, highlighting the value and enjoyment of reading. This strategy can inspire children to embrace reading, making it a natural part of their daily routine while still allowing for screen time as a reward.

“YTA.”

Reddit u/TopaztheBigBoss

“Loosen up.”

Reddit u/Mrsbreezyb

“She needs to relax sometimes.”

Reddit u/ten_before_six

In navigating the balance between study and leisure, Dr. Carol Dweck, a psychologist known for her work on growth mindset, emphasizes the importance of fostering a love for learning rather than strict adherence to rules.

She points out that when children understand that both reading and screen time can coexist, they are more likely to engage positively with both. Encouraging curiosity and exploration in both realms can lead to a more well-rounded educational experience.

“She’s going to burn out.”

Reddit u/phelgmdounuts

You’re stressing her out more.

Reddit u/ORDI_OMEGA

“The studying is way too much.”

Reddit u/brandynunu

The Impact of Over-Scheduling

Dr. Richard Freed, a child psychologist, warns about the dangers of over-scheduling children’s activities, which can lead to burnout. He argues that children need unstructured time to foster creativity and self-discovery.

Freed suggests that parents consider incorporating free time into their schedules, allowing children to engage in activities they enjoy spontaneously. This flexibility can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being, allowing for a healthier relationship with both academic pursuits and leisure activities.

She’s gonna end up hating you!

Reddit u/deleted

“Let the girl relax.”

Reddit u/deleted

“Your daughter needs a break.”

Reddit u/J_Is_Typing

Family therapist Dr. Shefali Tsabary advocates for a mindful approach to parenting that prioritizes connection over control. She believes that creating a supportive environment where children feel safe to express their feelings about screen time can lead to healthier habits.

Tsabary recommends that parents engage in regular family discussions about technology and its role in their lives. This not only fosters understanding but also empowers children to make responsible choices regarding their screen time use.

“You can’t be serious.”

Reddit u/cmdr_wds

In the end, this dad’s story became less about enforcing discipline and more about rediscovering balance. His heart was in the right place, but his daughter reminded him — and all of us — that success doesn’t come from endless effort alone; it comes from rest, trust, and room to breathe. Sometimes, the best lesson a parent can teach isn’t about studying harder, but about learning when to let go.

Expert Opinion

This father's intentions stem from a place of care and concern for his daughter's future, which is a common motivation for parents. However, his strict approach highlights a classic psychological pattern where the desire for control can lead to increased stress and resistance, especially in teenagers who are seeking autonomy. By shifting towards a more collaborative approach, they can build a healthier dynamic that respects both her need for relaxation and the importance of her academic goals.

Research-Based Understanding

As technology continues to play a significant role in children’s lives, fostering a balanced approach to screen time and reading is crucial. Experts emphasize the importance of open communication and collaboration between parents and children, which can help cultivate mutual respect and understanding. By encouraging autonomy while setting reasonable boundaries, families can create a healthier environment for both academic and leisure activities. This balanced approach not only nurtures a love for learning but also promotes well-being in the digital age.