Freshly Painted Wall Ruined At Family Dinner
OP set up a safe space for her nephews, yet her new wall still ended up destroyed.
Family gatherings are usually a chance to relax, share food, and catch up. But sometimes, they can lead to unexpected problems- especially when children are involved. Homes are personal spaces that people put time, money, and effort into, and when something gets damaged, it can leave behind more than just a mess. It can also create tension between relatives.
One OP recently shared her frustration after weeks of hard work repainting her living room. She and her husband had hosted a family dinner, keeping things casual with pasta, garlic bread, and shared dishes.
To keep her sister-in-law’s young twins entertained, OP set up a kids’ table in the den with snacks and washable markers. But while she stepped away, the children ended up scribbling across the freshly painted living room wall.
What should have been a fun evening quickly turned sour. The ink smeared into the matte paint, and attempts to clean it only made things worse. A professional later quoted $200 to repair and repaint the wall.
When OP asked her sister-in-law to contribute, the response was dismissive. She laughed it off, saying kids get bored and that the paint could always be redone. To OP, this felt like her effort and care for her home were being brushed aside.
The situation became more complicated because her husband sympathized with his sister, noting that money was already tight for her as a single parent. Other family members were divided - some thought OP was right to ask for help, while others insisted that children naturally make mistakes and she should just let it go.
This small family dinner turned into a bigger debate about boundaries, responsibility, and respect. OP is left questioning whether asking for help was reasonable - or if it really is just “kids being kids.”
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RedditOP's sister-in-law is being a terrible role model for her kids.
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"Boys will be boys. "
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If there’s no supervision, expect surprises.
RedditOP's SIL should at least apologize, take responsibility, and help fix the damage.
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She has to pay the full amount.
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Her response is the most striking part.
RedditIt’s natural for kids to push boundaries, which is why parents must enforce them.
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OP gave them the chance to act out, so SIL isn’t the one who should be paying for it.
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OP thoughtfully created a separate space for the activity.
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Expert Opinion
This situation really sheds light on how family dynamics can complicate accountability and responsibility. OP's effort to create a safe space for the kids shows her intention to foster a positive environment, but it also highlights the challenge of setting clear boundaries. On the other hand, the sister-in-law's dismissive response likely stems from a mix of defensiveness and perhaps a lack of awareness about teaching her kids consequences for their actions, which can be a common struggle for parents.
Both OP and her sister-in-law share some responsibility. OP tried to prepare a safe space for the children, but leaving markers accessible in a freshly painted home carried some risk.
At the same time, Jess should have reacted more seriously when her children damaged the wall instead of brushing it off. A more considerate response or an offer to help, even in a small way, would have shown respect for OP’s effort.
While asking for money might feel heavy given Jess’s financial situation, acknowledging the problem would have gone a long way. This situation highlights how important it is for family members to balance empathy with accountability.
