Disappointed Daughter Goes No Contact After Discovering Parents Were Spreading Horrible Lies About Her And Her Husband

There's no way that parents, the ones who brought you into this world, could betray you, right? Unfortunately, not all people are trustworthy, even when they hold such a significant role in your life.

Sometimes, the very individuals who are supposed to protect and nurture you can be the ones who cause the most harm. Today's story from the "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) illustrates this situation.

A few days later, OP called her aunt, who revealed that OP's parents had shared a false story about how OP met her current husband. The parents claimed OP met her husband during a threesome attempt with her ex-husband, which was completely untrue.

OP was shocked, as she had always told her parents the true story of meeting her husband through mutual friends at work. When OP confronted her parents, they insisted she had told them the false story, and her dad became angry when she refuted it.

The OP also discovered that her dad had spread this story to other family members almost eight years ago. Despite multiple attempts to resolve the issue through emails, the parents kept changing their story and shifting the blame, only offering a vague apology for upsetting her.

Now, the parents demand forgiveness, blaming OP for causing family distress by not moving on. Since she has been avoiding them, she wonders if she's the a-hole.

The OP asked if it was wrong to go NC with her parents after what she discovered about them.

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The OP's aunt wanted to confirm if the parents' story was true.

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The Impact of Familial Relationships on Identity

Familial relationships significantly shape our identities and self-perceptions. According to Dr. Judith Harris, author of 'The Nurture Assumption', much of our personality development occurs within the family context, influencing how we relate to others outside the family unit.

When individuals face betrayal from family members, such as the spreading of lies, it can lead to profound feelings of isolation and a reassessment of one's identity and worth.

Before Thanksgiving, the OP's parents told her aunt lies about how she met her current husband.

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The parents said that OP's current husband solicited her and her ex-husband for a threesome.

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The concept of family dynamics is crucial in understanding the fallout from such experiences. Research published in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that negative interactions can create long-lasting rifts that undermine trust and connection within the family.

In this case, the daughter's decision to go no contact likely stems from a need to protect herself from further emotional harm.

The OP was shocked by what she heard because nothing her parents said was true.

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She confronted them about their story. The parents ended up gaslighting the OP.

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Coping with Betrayal in Family Relationships

Psychologists suggest that coping with betrayal involves a multi-faceted approach. Techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy can help individuals reframe negative thoughts and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Moreover, establishing boundaries is essential when dealing with toxic family dynamics. Setting limits can empower individuals to reclaim their emotional space and prioritize their mental well-being.

The OP had another painful discovery. Her parents have been telling their lies to their other relatives.

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The couple then decided to confront the parents once again via email.

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Engaging in self-care practices, such as mindfulness and journaling, can also aid in processing feelings of betrayal and loss. By reflecting on their experiences, individuals can gain clarity about their emotions and identify healthier patterns moving forward.

Additionally, seeking support from friends or a therapist can provide a safe space for healing and growth as individuals navigate their complex family dynamics.

They only tried to play down the issue.

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Now, the parents are demanding forgiveness. You read that right — demanding.

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The Long-Term Effects of Family Betrayal

Research indicates that the effects of familial betrayal can extend beyond the immediate emotional pain. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, states, "Unresolved family conflicts can lead to long-term emotional distress, including anxiety and depression." You can find more insights on her professional website at drramani.com. Understanding these long-term implications can motivate individuals to seek help and work through their feelings, ultimately leading to healthier relationships in the future.

Maybe it's time the OP ignores them completely. User suggests a duration of 10 years.

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One user finds it unbelievable but is also guessing that they're biased and prefers the OP's ex.

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The OP's anger is understandable. Parents are supposed to be people you can trust.

But what her mom and dad did is not just trust-shattering. It's a betrayal that has deeply hurt her and her husband.

Their refusal to take responsibility and their constant shifting of blame only make the situation worse, leaving OP to question if she can ever truly reconcile with them.

The OP's ex might even have a hand in it.

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Fake or not, there are people out there capable of spreading lies to ruin their own family.

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These parents aren't even thinking. Even if it were true, it's not something you gossip about with relatives.

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Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects the profound impact that familial relationships can have on an individual's sense of self. When faced with betrayal, it's not uncommon for individuals to reevaluate their connections and prioritize their mental health, leading to significant changes in family dynamics.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In navigating the complexities of familial relationships, particularly in the face of betrayal, it's essential to prioritize self-care and emotional well-being. Establishing boundaries and seeking support can empower individuals to work through their feelings and reclaim their identities.

Ultimately, understanding the psychological impact of family dynamics can facilitate healing and foster healthier connections moving forward.