45 Sincere Replies From Parents Revealing The Disappointments They Have About Having Children
Being a mom or a dad is for the strongest of us
Although parenthood is regarded as one of the most wonderful blessings life can give you, the difficulties that come with it are frequently unnoticeable to outsiders (unless kids occasionally have public meltdowns).
It's very uncommon for someone to become the only parent in their social circle because many people choose to have children later in life or not at all. As Dr. Madeline Levine, a child psychologist, notes, "The isolation that can come with parenting is often overlooked, yet it is a very real experience for many." You may feel that having children can sometimes feel a bit alienating and lonely.
But it's important to build the social circle that you need around you, not at the expense of severing relationships with friends and family who are childless unless, of course, you want that as well. Parenting is tough work for the strongest among us; as Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician, states, "The pressure to be a great parent can lead to feelings of loneliness and emotional exhaustion."
Parents and other adults who are responsible for children are expressing their harrowingly honest experiences in this Dr. Madeline Levine's website despite the fact that they all wouldn't trade their current circumstances for anything. Tag along with me as we explore these 45 honest responses from different parents.
1. "The emotional pain of watching your children go through something almost unimaginably difficult knowing that your best efforts may not be enough to save them."
Remote_Person52802. "Knowing that I’ll never truly be free again. I will worry about my child until the day I die."
Runner_Grl3. The child version
JuneTheLoon
Understanding Parental Disappointment
Many parents express disappointment in their parenting journey, reflecting a common psychological phenomenon known as 'expectation vs. reality'.
Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology indicates that high expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment when reality does not align with those expectations.
This gap can create a cycle of negative emotions, as parents may feel they are failing to meet not only their own standards but also societal expectations.
4. "Relentlessness"
Kids don’t stop, they don’t go away, they always need to be fed, and cleaned, and entertained. They are always there, for 21 years+, they are always there. Every single day, every single hour. Kids are always there.
Rkozlow
5. "The worry that something horrible will happen to them. Sickness, kidnapping, getting lost, etc"
MelbaToast604
6. "Kids have an incredible ability to get really sick during the most inconvenient times."
jgiffin
Developmental psychologists emphasize that parenting can trigger unresolved childhood issues, leading to feelings of disappointment.
Studies show that when parents confront their own unmet needs through their children, it can lead to frustration and disappointment.
Understanding this phenomenon can help parents reframe their experiences and focus on the joys of parenting rather than solely on their disappointments.
7. "Figuring out 3 meals, 8,000 snacks, 1,000 activities and settling for the fact they won’t like, want or do any of them"
BurnThe___Down
8. "The worst part of being a parent is realizing that you're never going to be perfect for them."
You're only human yourself. You're weak, you're tired, you're fallible, just like them. And as such, you'll do/not-do something and you'll blow it out of proportion and crucify yourself, and you forget that you're just still human too.And in that moment, in that lapse in judgment, you'll regret yelling at them, you'll wish you played with them a little bit better, you'll regret getting frustrated and impatient, and you'll regret criticizing them. You'll miss them, wherever they are, whoever old they are.The worst part of being a parent is that you can't save them from yourself. It's all in the game of life, and every second of it takes effort and thoughtful energy. Some days will be better than others. This too, shall pass.
Rpark888
9. "The guilt when you have to stand up to your kids and discipline them. It's never fun to see them sad."
AlwaysNipping
The Impact of Societal Pressures
The pressures of societal norms play a significant role in shaping parental expectations. According to research from the University of Pennsylvania, social media and cultural narratives often present an idealized version of parenthood that is unrealistic.
When parents compare their experiences to these ideals, it can lead to feelings of shame and failure.
By fostering a more realistic view of parenting, including its challenges, parents can cultivate resilience and satisfaction in their roles.
10. "The sleep deprivation."
I'm serious, it wrecked me. I was already suffering from postpartum depression, and I was both breastfeeding and dealing with an unhelpful partner. I didn't sleep much until the baby was about a year old.Cognitively and emotionally, it destroyed me. I made stupid mistakes at work and as a parent. I didn't trust or like myself -- or the baby.That's the number one reason he's an only child. I can't handle the lack of sleep. He's an amazing, creative, hilarious 15-year-old now; I love him and I love being the mom of a teenager. For one thing, he sleeps through the night.
insertcaffeine
11. Letting them fail
Aromatic-Blackberry5
12. "Endless, thankless drudgery."
The house is always disgusting. Everything you cook is garbage. Nothing is ever done, and everything you do is wrong. Constant expenses. Neverending judgment from total strangers about what a piece of s**t parent you are.
Dragon_wryter
Psychological interventions, such as mindfulness and cognitive-behavioral therapy, can be beneficial for parents struggling with disappointment.
Research suggests that practicing mindfulness can help parents stay present and appreciate the small joys of parenting, reducing feelings of disappointment.
Additionally, cognitive reframing techniques can empower parents to shift their focus from perceived failures to the positive aspects of their parenting journey.
13. Explanations
Sylessaria
14. "Honestly, it is the lack of a few minutes to yourself for contemplation."
rambo_oz3
15. "They naturally learn all your bad habits"
Shadow948
Creating Supportive Networks
Building supportive networks can alleviate feelings of disappointment among parents. Social support has been widely studied in psychology, showing that it plays a critical role in mental health.
According to a study published in the American Journal of Psychology, parents who engage with support groups report lower levels of stress and disappointment.
Encouraging open conversations about challenges within parenting can foster community and provide reassurance that they are not alone in their feelings.
16. Raising them
Maleficent_Scale_296
17. Mental health problems
Serenity2010
18. "No/little free time"
MissingCalifornia-
19. "The constant fear"
It may not always be at the front of your mind but it's always there. Are they ok, are the feeling sick, happy, sad. What are they not telling me. Are they safe when they go out. Do they understand I'm not trying to be a complete a**e, will they be ok when I'm gone.
No_Swordfish_5518
20. "The fear. Anything could happen, at any moment, that would completely destroy your world."
MrSpindles
21. Point of view
Three-eyed_seagull
22. "Loving someone so much, yet, sometimes you want to just beat the s**t out of."
TrailerParkPrepper
23. "Do you like doing things? Say goodbye to doing any of those things."
partial_birth
24. "Laugh. ‘It is the best of times, it is the worst of times’"
ConstantlySlippery
25. Making mistakes
ZentheOgre
26. Sick
FuckingButteredJorts
27. "Being able to do seemingly next to nothing to console them when they see something traumatic."
Drow_Sucker
28. Dealing with them
draftstone
29. "It depends what you are already lacking in life. Don't have a lot of money? Wait until daycare bills add up. Don't have a lot of free time or get much sleep? Welcome to being a zombie for a few years."
GMaharris
30. Lack of sleep
LastLadyResting
31. Constant fear
TheSaSQuatCh
32. Tragic
CrumzAus
33. Quotes
all_natural_d20s
34. "Not me, but my best friend told me the thing he hates the most about being a parent is just not having any money for him to spend on his wife. Before they had kids, he would surprise her with little gifts every now and again and it would make her so happy. Now he's starting to feel bad now that he can't do that anymore"
Author_Story_Teller
35. "The fact that horrible things can happen to them and it will ultimately be your fault."
It continues...
RainWindowCoffee
36. The connection
borsky
37. The freedom
My kids are 1 and 3 years old and although i love them to death and would never want to lose them again I do sometimes miss my freedom. When i see how easy it is for ppl who dont have kids to do things such as travel or pursue hobbies i get kinda sad and wish i could still do those things too.
doubt_me
38. Packing lunch
BlueMountainDace
39. Former self
Heimlich_Maneuver
40. Listing them out
RandyMarsh129
41. Concept of death
vk2786
42. As simple as that
gamingwoof
43. Wavelength
queenlatiti
44. Relationship strain
TasteItMmm
45. Sick days
Good_Confection_3365
It's common for parents to get lost in the chaos of motherhood and fatherhood, but it's crucial to make time for yourself to engage in activities you enjoy, including playing sports, hanging out with friends when your children aren't around, engaging in artistic endeavors, or going on dates. It's about putting yourself first and being a little selfish sometimes.
But still, we are parents, and we can't love our kids less.
Psychological Analysis
This pattern of disappointment reflects a common struggle among parents who often feel overwhelmed by the disconnect between their expectations and reality.
It's essential for parents to recognize that these feelings are valid and can be addressed through supportive resources and community engagement.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In summary, parental disappointment is a complex issue that intersects with personal expectations, societal pressures, and unresolved childhood experiences.
Research consistently indicates that understanding these dynamics can lead to healthier parenting practices and emotional resilience.
