Traumatized Young Man Asks For Advice On How To Deal With The Toxic Parents Who Harass And Stalk Him

Growing up, we tend to accept our parents' behavior as being "normal" because, after all, they are our only source of reference. However, for some people, transitioning into adulthood can be an eye-opening experience for all the wrong reasons.

For Reddit user u/rrelthrowaway1, looking back on his childhood and adolescence has made him realize that his parents inflicted a lot of damage on him. He shared his story in the r/relationships subreddit and asked the online community for advice.

The OP explained that he was regularly yelled at and punished as a child. His parents would scream at him to smile and would punish him for "not being happy enough."

His father once threatened to "drop him off at a homeless shelter." He even packed a bag for him, and the OP was often afraid of his dad.

When he started university, the OP's parents used the GPS on his phone to track his every move. If he wasn't where they thought he should be, they would call him and scream at him for hours over the phone.

They even told the OP that he was single-handedly "driving them to divorce." It turned out they weren't having marital problems at all; it was just another one of their mind games.

The OP had a nervous breakdown and eventually decided to drop out of university. Of course, his parents didn't approve of that decision either.

Over time, the Redditor came to the realization that his upbringing was not, in fact, "the norm," and if he was going to have any chance at happiness, he would need to cut his parents out of his life completely.

Now the OP is wondering if he's overreacting about everything. So, he turned to the Reddit community for advice.

You can read the Redditor's story in its entirety below. So, keep scrolling, and be sure to buckle up because it's one heck of a ride!

The Redditor shared a story about his parents stalking and harassing him for two years.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

He explained that his parents did a lot of things to him growing up that weren't okay.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

The OP said he was "regularly yelled at and punished" for not smiling as a child.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

Understanding Toxic Family Dynamics

Dr. James Foster, a psychologist specializing in family systems, explains that toxic relationships often involve patterns of manipulation and control. In this case, the individual's parents may be using their behavior to exert power over him.

Research shows that these dynamics can lead to significant emotional distress and hinder personal growth.

When the OP was in grade 10, his parents punished him because he "wasn't happy enough."

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

The OP's father called his school screaming because he took his iPod to school.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

The OP says his father has always had a bad temper.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, "Toxic relationships can lead to a cycle of confusion and guilt, making it difficult for individuals to assert their boundaries." Recognizing these harmful patterns is essential for personal empowerment and establishing healthier dynamics. As noted on her professional website, Dr. Solomon emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in navigating these challenges. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for personal well-being.

He threatened to pull the OP out of class and scream at him in front of everyone.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

He said if the OP didn't clean his room properly, he would drop him off at the homeless shelter.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

When the OP's start at university didn't go well, his parents decided they would need to intervene.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

The Importance of Boundaries

Establishing healthy boundaries is essential for protecting one's emotional well-being. Psychologists emphasize that boundaries can help individuals maintain their sense of self in the face of manipulative behaviors.

When individuals articulate their limits clearly, it empowers them to advocate for their needs and well-being.

His parents began using the GPS on his phone to keep track of his every movement.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

They even told the OP that he was "personally driving them to divorce."

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

The OP says it was all "some sick motivational tool."

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

In this situation, the individual might benefit from seeking therapy to explore these dynamics further. A professional can provide strategies for effective communication and boundary-setting.

Therapists often emphasize the importance of developing assertiveness skills to navigate challenging interactions.

The OP decided to drop out of university as he couldn't take his parents' harassment any longer.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

The Redditor realized he would need to cut his parents out of his life if he was ever going to heal himself.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

He told his mother and father not to contact him anymore.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

Seeking Support and Resources

Additionally, connecting with support groups for individuals dealing with toxic family dynamics may provide valuable resources and emotional support. Research shows that sharing experiences can help alleviate feelings of isolation.

These groups can foster a sense of community and provide practical strategies for managing difficult situations.

The OP's parents had almost driven him to end his life several times.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

The OP has been left with debilitating anxiety because of his parents.

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His mental health has suffered greatly from the trauma.

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Engaging a family therapist can also be a beneficial step for addressing these challenging dynamics. A therapist can help facilitate discussions and support family members in finding a more equitable balance in their relationships.

By involving a professional, families can work towards healthier communication patterns and emotional support.

The OP says that strangers on the internet have helped him more than his family ever has.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

Things have been improving since the OP cut contact with his parents.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

The Redditor decided to try to re-establish a connection with his mother and father.

Reddit/rrelthrowaway1

His mother justified all of their actions and asked the OP when he would be coming home.

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The OP says there is no way he can stand to be in the same house with his parents.

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TL;DR

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The OP asked, "Am I crazy?"

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He went on to ask for advice on how to approach the situation with his parents.

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The OP says he wants a relationship with his brother and extended family.

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In a later edit, the OP thanked the Reddit community for their support.

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Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/LadyMacDownvote

"Sorry man, your parents are cartoon villains."

Reddit/TheSilberFalcon

"Have you ever considered that you may have PTSD?"

Reddit/pammylorel

"Your parents are 100% not normal."

Reddit/attackbetta

"Tears."

Reddit/kittenkat4u

What are your thoughts on this story? Do you think the OP is overreacting about the way his mother and father have treated him over the years, or were his parents abusive?

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the complexities of dealing with toxic family relationships. It's essential for individuals to communicate their needs clearly and seek support when they feel overwhelmed.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Toxic family dynamics can significantly impact emotional well-being. By fostering open communication and establishing healthy boundaries, individuals can advocate for their needs while promoting healthier relationships.

Recognizing the importance of self-advocacy is crucial for emotional health.