Ph.D. Candidate Brags About His Expertise To His High School Classmate With A Bachelor's Degree Who Makes More Money Than Him

It's difficult not to compare yourself to other people your age. It's easy to drown in self-doubt when you see others achieving so many things while you're just halfway to where they are.

In those times, it's best to look at where you started and see just how far you've come. It may be a cliché, but it simply isn't your time yet.

A Reddit story discussed an unexpected high school reunion where two classmates couldn't help but compare where they are in life. OP was on a bus when they suddenly saw an old classmate named Charles.

Naturally, they began chatting about the eight years that had passed since high school. Charles proudly shared that he is now a Ph.D. student in biology and plans to stay on as a researcher.

OP was impressed by what Charles had achieved and congratulated him. OP shared what they studied and what they do now for a living.

Charles was surprised that OP only got a bachelor's degree and spoke about it condescendingly. He told OP how smart they were in high school and began asking what went wrong for their career and studies to go sideways.

Needless to say, dear OP was shocked and offended by Charles' reaction. Still, OP kept things diplomatic and said they are fulfilled with their career.

Charles dismissed this and told OP if they at least worked for a master's degree, then they wouldn't be stuck making pennies and watching everyone else get promoted

Diplomacy went out the window after this, as OP said they're actually pretty satisfied with their salary. OP mentioned how much they made and said they wouldn't exactly consider that amount "pennies."

Charles was no longer friendly after hearing that and said it was distasteful of OP to brag about their salary. OP was confused by Charles' reaction and searched how much Ph.D. students made.

They barely make minimum wage while they're still studying, and it's not much of an increase once they finish their studies. Now OP feels awful about sharing their salary.

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Was OP an a**hole for sharing their compensation after Charles acted all condescending? Read the full post below:

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The phenomenon of social comparison, particularly among peers, is well-documented in psychological literature. Research by Festinger (1954) introduced the theory of social comparison, which posits that individuals evaluate their own abilities and opinions by comparing themselves to others. This tendency can lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially when faced with someone who appears to be more successful, such as the high school classmate making more money. As highlighted by a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, individuals who frequently engage in upward social comparisons may experience lower self-esteem and increased feelings of envy, which can perpetuate a cycle of self-doubt and dissatisfaction.

Understanding this psychological mechanism can help individuals mitigate the negative effects of comparison. For instance, cognitive restructuring techniques, as outlined in cognitive-behavioral therapy, can assist individuals in reframing their thoughts to appreciate their unique journeys rather than feeling diminished by others' successes.

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One of the underlying issues in the scenario described is the concept of identity, particularly how it evolves through social and academic experiences. Research from the University of California, Berkeley, emphasizes that identity development is a complex process influenced by various factors, including education, career achievements, and social interactions. The stark contrast between the Ph.D. candidate and his classmate illustrates a common struggle: academic credentials do not always equate to financial success or societal validation. This mismatch can lead to identity crises, particularly in individuals who have invested heavily in their education and may feel their efforts have not led to the expected outcomes.

To navigate these identity challenges, individuals might benefit from engaging in reflective practices such as journaling or therapy, which can facilitate a deeper understanding of their values and self-worth beyond external achievements.

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Another aspect to consider is the psychological stress linked to perceived societal expectations and the pressure to achieve conventional markers of success. A study published in the Journal of Business and Psychology found that individuals often experience heightened anxiety when they believe they are falling behind their peers, which can adversely affect their mental health and motivation. This pressure is particularly acute in a capitalist society where financial success is frequently seen as the ultimate measure of achievement.

To counteract these feelings of anxiety, mental health professionals recommend developing a personalized definition of success that aligns with one's values and aspirations. This approach not only fosters intrinsic motivation but also helps individuals cultivate resilience against societal pressures.

A comment mentioned something about not pulling your thing out if you do not want it to be measured

NUT-me-SHELL

If he thinks it's so distasteful, why bring up money in the first place?

letstrythisagain30

You should have protected my overinflated ego, OP!

CaseyG

The conversation between the Ph.D. candidate and his classmate highlights a deeper psychological principle known as the 'Dunning-Kruger effect,' where individuals with lower ability at a task overestimate their ability. Conversely, those with higher competence often underestimate their skills. Research from Cornell University shows that this effect can lead to distorted self-perceptions and interpersonal misunderstandings. The Ph.D. candidate, despite his advanced education, may be unaware of how his expertise translates into real-world contexts, while the classmate may undervalue his own skills and worth.

To address this cognitive bias, individuals can benefit from seeking feedback from trusted peers or mentors, which can provide a more balanced perspective on their abilities and contributions.

He wanted the Ph.D. because he wants the prestige that goes along with the title

letstrythisagain30

He acted all high and mighty when OP shared they have a bachelor's degree and immediately assumed they made less money. Undoctor-like behavior.

babcock27

According to this biologist, Charles is in for a rude awakening if he thinks his doctorate will guarantee a high-paying job

SatsuJin7

Moreover, the experience of feeling inferior in the face of someone else's success can trigger a defensive reaction, such as bragging or attempting to assert superiority. This is often a reflection of what psychologists refer to as 'ego defense mechanisms,' which are unconscious strategies used to protect one's self-esteem. A study published in the American Journal of Psychology suggests that these defense mechanisms can lead to unhealthy communication patterns and relationship dynamics.

To foster healthier interactions, individuals are encouraged to practice self-compassion and vulnerability, which can help create a more authentic connection with others. Techniques such as mindfulness and self-affirmation can enhance emotional resilience, allowing individuals to engage in more constructive dialogues.

Apparently, a Ph.D. also does not guarantee that you will be a highly coveted employee. Some pharmaceutical companies actually prefer fresh grads whom they can train and eventually incentivize to pursue higher studies.

playallday1112

Companies believe that people with doctorates demand too high of a salary out of the gate. It's good practice to remove your Ph.D. qualifications until you hit management level.

CSCasper

It's a lot of time, money, and effort for little to no payoff (this depends on your field of expertise, of course)

Odd_Anywhere256

It's important to note that societal structures, including capitalism, often dictate how success is perceived and valued. According to research from the Harvard Business Review, systemic inequalities can influence career trajectories, leading to disparities in income regardless of education. This context can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy for those who have invested in higher education but find themselves in lower-paying positions.

Understanding these systemic factors can empower individuals to advocate for themselves in professional environments, recognizing that their worth is not solely defined by income but by a myriad of skills and contributions. Engaging in professional development and networking opportunities can also help mitigate feelings of stagnation and enhance career prospects.

Tons of papers with a tenure dangling on the horizon

mmaireenehc

Oh Charles, you sweet summer child

CapitalBoss45

Charles sounds like someone who is high from the fumes of dreams long gone

eqnrc

Finally, the emotional reactions stemming from these comparisons can lead to a cycle of negative self-talk and self-doubt. Research in clinical psychology indicates that negative self-talk can hinder personal growth and well-being. A study by the University of Pennsylvania found that individuals who practice self-compassion are more resilient to negative comparisons and self-criticism.

In practical terms, incorporating self-compassion exercises—such as loving-kindness meditation or affirmations—can help individuals cultivate a more supportive internal dialogue. This practice not only enhances emotional well-being but also empowers individuals to pursue their aspirations without being hindered by the success of others.

Not only were OP's actions validated, but they were also well within the scope of reason to brag about their salary after Charles behaved like an obnoxious jerk. Too bad his Ph.D. didn't teach him about hypocrisy.

The point is, if you start a pissing contest, make sure you're going to win. If you lose, as Charles did, don't be an envious green monster; take your bruised ego elsewhere and maybe reevaluate your life choices.

Psychological Insights & Implications

In conclusion, the dynamics of comparison, identity, and societal pressures play a significant role in shaping individuals' self-perceptions and emotional well-being. Research from the National Institute of Mental Health emphasizes that recognizing these patterns can contribute to healthier mental states and more productive interactions. Moreover, effective strategies such as reframing success, self-compassion, and seeking constructive feedback can help individuals navigate these complex feelings. Ultimately, the journey toward self-acceptance and personal fulfillment is unique for everyone, and through a combination of awareness and practical strategies, individuals can cultivate resilience against the challenges posed by comparison and societal expectations.