This Teen Was Told To Hide Her Favorite Posters To Avoid "Triggering” Her "Recovering Incel” Stepbrother

A 16-year-old girl thought her dad’s engagement would be nothing but good news — until a simple home tour turned into an unexpected showdown over superhero posters. Her dad’s fiancée, Suzy, seemed lovely at first, but her request about the teen’s bedroom décor raised more than a few red flags.

The teen lives with her dad full-time, and her parents divorced seven years ago. After two years of dating, her dad and Suzy recently got engaged, and she was genuinely happy for them — until things got weird.

When Suzy and her son, a 17-year-old, came over to see the house they’d be moving into, everything went smoothly… until they reached the teen’s room. The proud nerd’s space is filled with collectibles — from Funko Pops to posters, figurines, and signed autographs of her favorite movie characters.

Two of her biggest obsessions? Captain Marvel and Rey from Star Wars. Unfortunately, that’s exactly where things went off the rails.

Suzy told her that her son is a “recovering incel” — yes, you read that right — and apparently, Brie Larson and Daisy Ridley are “big triggers” for him. Because of that, Suzy asked the teen to remove everything related to those actresses and their characters from her room and put it in storage.

The teen was stunned by the request but managed to stay polite, telling Suzy she’d “think about it.” Both her dad and Suzy seemed disappointed she didn’t immediately agree, which made her start to doubt herself.

She explained that her room isn’t just about those two characters — there’s plenty of other stuff, too. So technically, she could take the items down without leaving her room bare or losing much of her collection. Still, something about the whole thing didn’t sit right.

She wanted to be compassionate — after all, if someone is trying to recover and she could help, that seemed like the kind thing to do. But deep down, she didn’t want to take down things that make her happy just to cater to someone else’s unresolved issues.

Feeling torn, she took her dilemma to Reddit and asked, “Does that make me the asshole?” And the internet responded with a resounding no.

After thousands of supportive comments, she updated her post, saying she was blown away by everyone’s kindness and advice. “Thank you all for helping me find my spine,” she wrote, promising to talk to her dad and reach out to her mom for backup.

But things quickly took a darker turn when she actually confronted her dad about it. During his lunch break (he works from home), she brought up the conversation and even mentioned her Reddit post. That’s when everything exploded.

Her dad got angry — really angry. He yelled that she didn’t trust him, accused her mom of “poisoning” her against him, and ranted about her prioritizing “shitty characters over family.” The teen tried to stay calm, but it was clear that things had gone too far.

Feeling scared and overwhelmed, she made the decision to delete her Reddit account so her dad wouldn’t find it and get even angrier. Before signing off for good, she thanked everyone for their support and said she’d already emailed her mom and planned to call her later that day.

The post ended on a bittersweet note — a teen just trying to stand her ground, protect her safe space, and figure out where to draw the line between empathy and self-respect.

Because at the end of the day, no one should have to erase pieces of themselves just to make someone else more comfortable.

She didn’t want to take down things that make her happy just to cater to someone else’s unresolved issues.

AI-generated image

Here's the original post by the since deleted Reddit user.

So, I(16F) live with my dad. My parents divorced seven years back, but my dad started dating this very nice woman we'll call Suzy two years ago. Suzy's nice honestly, so when they got engaged earlier this month I was happy for them.Yesterday, Dad was giving her a tour of the house, since she and her son(17M) will be moving in once they're married. Everything went well until they got to my room. I'm a big nerd, and there's a lot of character stuff in my room. I've got posters, Funko Pops, some statues, and even a couple of autographs I saved up for. And Suzy had a little issue with it.See, two of the characters I have the most things for are Captain Marvel and Rey. And apparently Suzy's son is a 'recovering incel'. And she said that while he's doing really well, Brie Larson and Daisy Ridley (and their most famous characters) are still very big triggers for him. So she asked me to take all the stuff related to them down, and put it in storage. I told her I'd think about it, and both she and my dad were rather disappointed with me for not just saying yes.Here's where I think I might be the asshole. It's not like my room is a shrine to just those two. I have plenty of stuff. So I could take it down, and it wouldn't mean my room would look empty or blank. I'd just have weird spaces on my walls and shelves now. And if he's trying to get better I don't want to do things that'd upset him. So I could take them down, and I wouldn't lose much and I could potentially help my future step-brother....but I don't want to. Does that make me the asshole?EDIT: I got distracted by homework and video games, then slept for a while, then woke up to all of this! Wow, thank you all for your comments, your concerns, and your suggestions! I really do appreciate it!After frequent advice from everyone, I will try and talk to my dad later today, and call my mom after that (or regardless, if he doesn't want to hear it, I don't know). Thank you all for helping me find my spine, lolUPDATE: So uhm...talked to my dad about the situation, and mentioned this post during his lunch break (he's work from home). He's...not happy with me right now. Yelled that I don't trust him, accused Mom of poisoning me to think that he'd put his se*ual gratification over my safety, got really upset I aired family business on Reddit. Wanted to know why I'd put my shitty characters over family.I have to delete this account now, cause I don't want him to find it and get angrier. But I thank you all for your advice and compassion, and rest assured an email's going out to my mom now, followed by a call whenever she gets off work. Thank you so much!

Child psychologist Dr. Laura Berman emphasizes the importance of self-expression in adolescent development. She suggests that allowing teens to showcase their interests, like posters, can significantly boost their self-esteem and sense of identity.

Dr. Berman notes that suppression of personal interests can lead to feelings of resentment and inadequacy, which may exacerbate familial tensions. Encouraging open discussions about boundaries can help both parties understand each other's perspectives better.

Creating a safe space for expressing oneself can prevent emotional distress and promote healthier family dynamics.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

Reddit u/deleted

"You should have a problem with that."

Reddit u/gedvondur

Cultural Sensitivity

According to Dr. Eli Finkel, a relationship researcher, navigating family dynamics can often require cultural sensitivity. He points out that individuals may have different views on what constitutes a 'trigger' based on their experiences.

In this situation, having an honest dialogue about the significance of the posters to the teen could lead to more empathetic understanding from the stepmother. Dr. Finkel advocates for creating a family agreement that respects everyone’s boundaries while allowing personal expression.

This approach can create a more inclusive environment where all voices are heard.

"Your room, your choice of decorations."

Reddit u/RollingKatamari

"If it's such a 'trigger,' he can live with his father."

Reddit u/TireBiter89

"I'm worried for your safety."

Reddit u/RadioSupply

Family therapist Dr. Dan Siegel warns that enforcing rigid boundaries can lead to emotional shutdowns in adolescents. He suggests that families should engage in collaborative problem-solving to address concerns without stifling individual expression.

Open communication, where both the teen and stepmother articulate their feelings, can foster mutual respect and understanding. Dr. Siegel believes that using 'I' statements, such as 'I feel uncomfortable when...' can help mitigate conflicts.

This method encourages empathy and reduces defensiveness, paving the way for healthier relationships.

"Take every precaution with this guy."

Reddit u/Sorry-Sand-4869

NTA.

Reddit u/ComfortableZebra2412

"Your dad and Suzie are wrong."

Reddit u/devlin94

Navigating Triggers

Dr. Jennifer Caudle, a family physician, emphasizes the importance of recognizing triggers in a recovery context. She explains that understanding one's triggers is crucial for emotional health, especially for individuals recovering from difficult experiences.

In this case, the stepbrother's recovery journey should be respected, but not at the expense of the teen's personal expression. Dr. Caudle suggests family therapy as a constructive way for all parties to express their needs and establish a balanced living environment.

This approach can facilitate healing and improve family dynamics.

"Call your mother!"

Reddit u/TreeCityKitty

"Make sure your social media is locked down tight."

Reddit u/crumpet_22

"Don't take them down."

Reddit u/could-you-maybe-not

A relationship expert noted that clear boundaries help in defining acceptable behaviors while still allowing for personal expression. It's crucial for families to set these boundaries collaboratively. This approach promotes understanding and avoids potential conflict.

Practicing active listening during discussions can help family members feel valued and respected. Workshops on communication skills could also be beneficial, offering strategies for peaceful conflict resolution and understanding different perspectives, potentially leading to a healthier family environment.

"You have way bigger issues than posters."

Reddit u/cassowary32

"Is he sleeping in your room?"

Reddit u/greenbean5050

"Suzy needs firm boundaries."

Reddit u/deleted

Empowering Adolescents

Child development expert Dr. Tina Payne Bryson argues that empowering adolescents to express themselves can foster resilience. She highlights the significance of emotional intelligence in navigating challenging family dynamics.

Dr. Bryson suggests that parents should encourage their children to articulate their feelings and thoughts about their interests. This can create a stronger bond among family members, ultimately fostering a nurturing home environment. By validating the teen's feelings, parents can help them learn to manage their emotions better.

Such skills are invaluable as they transition into adulthood.

"Your safety has to come first."

Reddit u/WanderingAI08

When compassion turns into compromise, it’s easy to lose sight of your own boundaries. This teen learned that standing up for yourself — even when it’s messy — can be the bravest thing of all.

Expert Opinion

This situation highlights how our environments and relationships can put pressure on us to conform, often at the expense of our own identity. The teen's struggle reflects a common psychological conflict between empathy for others and the need to assert personal boundaries, which is crucial for healthy self-esteem. When people feel compelled to sacrifice their happiness for someone else's comfort, it can lead to resentment and a loss of self, underscoring the importance of open communication and mutual respect in family dynamics.

In conclusion, navigating family dynamics, especially in blended families, requires open communication and mutual respect. Experts highlight that fostering a supportive environment where all members can express themselves is crucial for emotional health.

By addressing concerns collaboratively, families can create a balanced space that respects individual identities while accommodating recovery journeys. This approach not only nurtures relationships but also builds resilience in adolescents, equipping them with essential life skills for the future.