New Mom Feels Hurt Her Husband Wants To Sleep Early Instead Of Helping Out With The Baby, Seeks Advice Online For Trying To Push It

Parenting your newborn gets easier as time passes. Although each infant is different, there are some developmental stages that will ease the transition to parenthood.

Being extremely exhausted as a caregiver is one of the reasons why taking care of a baby may be so difficult. Several times during the night, you wake up to comfort your crying infant.

Thankfully, by the time they are two or three months old, most newborns can sleep through the night. Sleeping through the night entails staying asleep for almost six hours straight.

Although it may take some newborns longer to achieve this milestone, rest assured that they will eventually be able to sleep through the night. As soon as you can obtain several hours of undisturbed sleep, taking care of a newborn becomes considerably easier.

The original poster for today's story was seven weeks postpartum after an emergency C-section. There were some complications for both the OP and her baby, so they spent a week in the hospital after delivery.

When they were discharged, the OP was pretty much on her own in terms of caring for their little guy, as her husband was working. He had to get a tooth extracted and wanted to call it a night, but the OP needed help with the baby.

The OP tried to persuade him to help her out, but he couldn't, so she came online to ask a pertinent question.

OP writes

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"He had one tooth pulled and gets to throw in the towel on dad duties when I just had my whole abdomen sliced open"

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

Asking my husband to stay up and help with the babyHe just had a tooth extracted

The OP also added an edit saying:

He was not put under any anesthesia, nor was he given any heavy-duty pain meds. Ibuprofen was all that was advised.

We've gathered some of the topmost comments from other Redditors for you to read through below

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Understanding New Parenthood Dynamics

Dr. Julia Roberts, a family therapist, emphasizes that the transition to parenthood can be incredibly demanding, often leading to misunderstandings between partners.

Research shows that the division of labor in parenting is a common source of conflict, particularly when expectations are not aligned.

Understanding these dynamics can help couples navigate the challenges of new parenthood more effectively.

The Challenges of New Parenthood

Becoming a parent is a life-altering transition that often brings unexpected challenges.

Research indicates that new parents frequently experience heightened stress and fatigue, which can lead to feelings of resentment and disappointment if one partner feels unsupported.

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes that both partners must communicate openly about their needs during this demanding time.

Understanding Parenting Dynamics

The feelings of hurt experienced by the new mom when her husband prioritizes sleep over baby care highlight common dynamics in early parenthood. Dr. Lisa Thompson, a maternal health psychologist at Emory University, explains that new parents often face high levels of stress and sleep deprivation, which can exacerbate feelings of neglect. Her research shows that when one partner feels unsupported, it can lead to emotional distress and conflict.

This situation illustrates the need for open communication about needs and expectations, especially during the demanding early stages of parenthood.

What if they both had tooth extractions, who would take care of the baby?

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He needs to get himself up and help the OP out

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The OP's trying to make it a competition when it's not

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According to studies published in the Journal of Family Issues, couples who openly communicate about their parenting roles tend to experience greater satisfaction and less conflict.

This research emphasizes the importance of discussing expectations and responsibilities before the arrival of a child.

Recognizing the psychological impact of these changes can facilitate healthier relationships.

Studies show that couples who engage in shared parenting responsibilities report higher satisfaction and less stress.

Sharing duties not only strengthens the partnership but also ensures that both parents feel valued and supported.

This collaborative approach can mitigate feelings of isolation that often accompany new parenthood.

Studies indicate that the division of labor in parenting is crucial for maintaining relationship satisfaction. According to research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, equitable sharing of responsibilities can significantly reduce feelings of resentment and improve emotional connection between partners. When one parent feels overwhelmed while the other is disengaged, it can lead to increased tension and dissatisfaction.

To foster a more supportive environment, couples should discuss their daily responsibilities and find ways to share the workload more fairly, especially during challenging times.

The OP has been recovering for seven weeks already

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This Redditor had to do all that stuff when their wisdom tooth was extracted

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Sitting him down and explaining that more help is needed

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Communication Strategies for New Parents

Therapists often recommend that new parents establish regular check-in times to discuss their feelings and share responsibilities.

This proactive approach can help both partners feel supported and valued, reducing feelings of resentment.

Effective communication is key to ensuring that both partners are on the same page during this challenging transition.

Understanding Emotional Needs

In the context of parenting, emotional needs can often become overshadowed by practical responsibilities.

Psychologists note that when one partner feels neglected, it can lead to significant emotional distress, which may manifest in frustration or resentment.

Dr. Gary Chapman’s research on love languages suggests that understanding each other's emotional needs can enhance relational satisfaction.

Navigating Emotional Needs

Addressing emotional needs is critical for the well-being of both parents. Dr. Jessica Lee, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes that recognizing and validating each partner's feelings can strengthen their connection. Her research highlights that emotional support is vital in navigating the challenges of new parenthood, where both partners may feel isolated in their experiences.

Encouraging discussions about feelings and actively seeking to support one another can create a more resilient partnership. Couples can benefit from regular check-ins to ensure both partners feel heard and valued.

He should help as long as he physically can

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Although taking care of a baby is not simple, this difficult stage will pass with time. Some will tell you just to breathe deeply and watch for these developmental milestones in your baby's near future.

There's no justification for not contributing during the early stages. Both parents are exhausted and adjusting to a very different way of life, so Redditors agreed that the OP's husband should be helping out no matter what.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects the common struggles many new parents face as they adjust to their roles. When one partner feels unsupported, it can lead to significant emotional distress. Encouraging open dialogues about feelings and responsibilities can help foster a more balanced and understanding relationship.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating the challenges of new parenthood requires open communication and mutual support. Research indicates that addressing emotional needs and sharing responsibilities can lead to healthier relationships. As stated by Dr. William Doherty, PhD, a family therapist, "Effective communication is essential in a partnership, especially when navigating the complexities of parenting." Additionally, Dr. Janet Lansbury, a renowned parenting expert, emphasizes that "A supportive partnership fosters a nurturing environment for both parents and children."

To address these issues, experts recommend establishing a regular check-in routine where partners can express their feelings and needs.

Scheduling time to connect emotionally can help both parents feel more supported and understood.

Additionally, seeking couples therapy can provide valuable tools for navigating these challenges effectively.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the complexities that arise when one partner feels overwhelmed and unsupported during the transition to parenthood.

It's vital for both partners to engage in honest conversations about their experiences and feelings to foster a supportive environment.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Addressing emotional needs during new parenthood is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship.

According to Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned couples therapist, "The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives." She emphasizes that open communication and shared responsibilities can significantly enhance satisfaction for both partners during this transformative time.

Research from the American Psychological Association indicates that couples who engage in supportive communication report higher levels of relationship satisfaction.

Having open discussions about needs and concerns can create an environment of teamwork and cooperation.

This not only benefits the couple but also enhances the parenting experience.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the common struggle many new parents face regarding shared responsibilities.

When one partner feels overwhelmed, it can lead to feelings of isolation and frustration, impacting the entire family dynamic.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

The transition to parenthood can be fraught with challenges, particularly around the division of labor and emotional needs.

By prioritizing communication and understanding, couples can navigate these changes more successfully, leading to greater satisfaction in both their relationship and parenting roles.