Pregnant Woman Horrified When Coworker She Meets For The First Time Shares Her Traumatic Birth Story In Detail And Offers To Be Her Birthing Coach

An expecting mom received unsolicited pregnancy advice from a coworker she met for the first time, which made her uncomfortable. The 32-year-old OP is a first-time mom.

OP is just about ready for her maternity leave. She reported to work to tie up loose ends and to properly hand over her projects to her colleagues.

OP works remotely most of the time. She met some of the newer employees online, but this was her first time meeting most of them in person.

She was visibly pregnant, and her maternity leave was not a secret, so most of her coworkers asked her about her experience. OP happily answered their questions about preparing for the baby.

Most of her interactions with the new employees were pleasant, save for one standout. Susan has been at the company for less than a month.

They interacted over Teams previously, but OP's visit was their first proper introduction. Susan asked a lot of questions about OP's pregnancy.

She shared her own birthing story in graphic detail. OP found Susan's oversharing a bit odd and tried to steer the conversation in another direction.

That was when Susan said she was speaking to OP as a friend, not a colleague. She asked OP to call her if she noticed anything odd about her pregnancy.

She even offered to coach OP as she prepared for birth. They are engineers by trade—Susan had no medical training, so OP was more than a little freaked out.

OP said she appreciated the thought but reassured Susan that she and her baby had all the support they needed.

u/Unhappy-Mamma

Susan replied that it was sometimes easier to talk to another person with a similar experience. She repeated that OP could call her even in the middle of the night when she didn't want to disturb her husband.

u/Unhappy-Mamma

OP told Susan that this wasn't an appropriate workplace discussion. She asked her to keep their interactions work-related moving forward.

u/Unhappy-Mamma

Understanding Emotional Boundaries

The act of sharing traumatic birth experiences with a colleague reflects a lack of awareness about emotional boundaries. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes that "when individuals share their personal traumas, they may believe they are being supportive, but this can often lead to discomfort for the listener." Research in psychology indicates that such boundary violations can create significant emotional distress for the recipient, particularly when the topic is sensitive and personal. As noted by Dr. Durvasula on her website, "understanding and respecting personal boundaries is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships." More insights on this topic can be found at Dr. Ramani's website.

Susan was upset. She avoided OP and took longer to respond to her emails.

u/Unhappy-Mamma

OP told her mom about the odd interaction. Her mom said OP was too harsh with Susan.

u/Unhappy-Mamma

She thought Susan was trying to make friends at work, and it was possible that talking about her pregnancy was her way of bonding.

u/Unhappy-Mamma

Moreover, the lack of medical training in this situation raises ethical concerns about the appropriateness of offering to be a birthing coach. This highlights the broader issue of how personal experiences can sometimes lead individuals to overstep professional boundaries, creating potential harm. Research indicates that unqualified advice in sensitive areas can lead to increased anxiety rather than relief for those seeking support.

It's essential for individuals to recognize their limitations and the impact of their words on others, especially in emotionally charged situations.

OP reacted appropriately to an inappropriate interaction that made her uncomfortable. She was direct and assertive but not rude.

knightrees02, Unhappy-Mamma

It seems Susan is carrying trauma from her own birth experience and tried to reassure OP in a roundabout way that she has support if she needed it.

Careful-Corgi

It accomplished the opposite. It freaked OP out instead.

0biterdicta

Establishing Healthy Communication Practices

To navigate such interactions, experts recommend establishing clear communication boundaries. It's crucial for individuals to articulate their comfort levels and preferences openly. For instance, expressing, 'I appreciate your willingness to share, but I would prefer to keep our discussions focused on work-related topics,' can help maintain professionalism while respecting personal boundaries. Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, a happiness researcher, states, "Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining emotional well-being and fostering healthy relationships." His insights can be found on his professional website at talbenshahar.com. Research from Dr. Robert Cialdini, an influence researcher, emphasizes that effective communication is key to fostering a respectful workplace environment, which can prevent misunderstandings and promote emotional safety; more about his work is available at influenceatwork.com.

It's sad what Susan went through, but unloading it to a pregnant person you just met is a terrible idea.

TishMiAmor

OP's mom is right; it was Susan's way of bonding with OP. It was still wrong.

YumeNaraSamete

She probably thought OP would be at ease with her since she shared something so personal. It's why she's avoiding OP.

BassKeepsPumpin

Additionally, training on emotional intelligence in the workplace can help employees recognize and respect boundaries more effectively. Studies show that organizations that prioritize emotional intelligence training experience improved employee interactions and a decrease in conflict. By fostering a culture of empathy and respect, workplaces can create a safer environment for all employees.

Ultimately, establishing clear boundaries and promoting emotional awareness can lead to healthier interactions and improved overall well-being.

If Susan doesn't stop, OP can loop their boss in about what happened.

Mermaidtoo

Susan may have had good intentions, but she really should have listened when OP asked her to stop.

dmllbit

OP didn't share any more updates about Susan. She posted a month ago, so we can only assume that she had already given birth.

Hopefully, without Susan in the delivery room. OP did the right thing by establishing a boundary with Susan; tolerating it would have only resulted in more uncomfortable conversations.

Psychological Analysis

This scenario highlights a common issue where emotional boundaries are not respected, leading to potential discomfort for the recipient. It's vital for individuals to recognize the importance of emotional intelligence in workplace interactions. Establishing clear communication and respecting personal experiences can enhance relationships and create a more supportive work environment.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, respecting emotional boundaries is crucial for maintaining professionalism and psychological safety in the workplace. By fostering open communication and prioritizing emotional intelligence, organizations can minimize discomfort and promote a respectful work culture.

Ultimately, understanding the impact of our words and actions on others is essential for creating a supportive environment.