Soon-To-Be-Dad Accuses His Wife Who Is 7 Months Pregnant Of "Milking" Her Pregnancy To Get Out Of Chores

There are many ways a significant other can support their pregnant partner. However, one thing a significant other should never do is dismiss the difficult and physically demanding aspects of growing a person inside their body.

OP is currently seven months pregnant. The soon-to-be mom shared how challenging her pregnancy has been so far.

She has been experiencing numerous medical issues, and the chronic pain is not making anything easier. Her dear, loving husband finds it annoying when OP brings up her pregnancy aches and pains.

OP stated that she doesn't constantly complain about it, but the issues have significantly slowed her down, which her husband believes she is using as an excuse to avoid "doing things." He again demonstrated his lack of support when OP woke up one day with terrible back pain.

The seven-month-pregnant woman expressed her discomfort, and naturally, her husband snapped at her for it. He told her she was acting like a spoiled princess and should start acting like a mother.

OP had enough and told him he can't dictate how she feels or how she reacts because he has no idea what she's going through. He argued that she can't say that because they are experiencing this together and he "put the baby in her."

OP conceded and said that while that is technically true, he is not the one doing all the work, so he has it easy. Her husband looked at her, seemingly shocked, and said:

"Ah-Ha how typical! Trying to use the 'I'm-the-mom-card' against me already? How much 'leverage' are you planning to get with that?"

OP was hurt by what he said because he made her feel like she was "milking" her pregnancy, and an argument ensued. Her dear husband left home and dodged OP's phone calls all day.

That night, he was acting distant toward OP and ignored any attempts at conversation. He claimed OP was out of line for telling him he had it easy because it discredits his efforts and sacrifices.

LillianGordon335

OP disagrees because her husband's sole focus is providing financially. Is she an a**hole for telling him he had it easy? Read the full post below:

LillianGordon335 LillianGordon335

Understanding Emotional Regulation

The situation described showcases a significant lack of emotional regulation from the soon-to-be dad, which can often stem from feelings of inadequacy when faced with a partner's struggles. According to Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher on marital stability, emotional regulation is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships during stressful times. When one partner feels overwhelmed, the other’s response can either alleviate or exacerbate the situation.

This dynamic is particularly evident during pregnancy, a time that can heighten anxiety and stress for both parents. If one partner perceives the other's needs as excessive or manipulative, it may reveal their own insecurities about their role in the upcoming parenting journey.

LillianGordon335 LillianGordon335

They are not even on the same realm; it's a ridiculous and rude comparison

Heraonolympia123

Many individuals struggle with perceiving their partner's needs as legitimate, especially during high-stress situations. According to Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned couples therapist, "In moments of stress, we often project our fears onto our partners, leading to misunderstandings and conflict." This phenomenon can result in misinterpretations of emotional expressions, as highlighted by Dr. John Gottman, who notes, "When under pressure, partners may accuse each other of manipulation, such as 'milking' a situation for personal gain." Understanding these dynamics can help partners cultivate empathy and patience, which are essential during the challenges of pregnancy.

He thinks you're hamming it up, OP

LillianGordon335

He probably thinks OP is not being pregnant correctly and he could do a much better job

PhantomNiffler

Imagine being pregnant and having a partner who is more concerned about his comfort instead of supporting you

bookynerdworm

The Role of Social Support

Social support plays a pivotal role in the well-being of pregnant individuals. Research from the University of Michigan suggests that perceived social support can mitigate stress and improve health outcomes for both the mother and child during pregnancy. When the partner feels supported, they are more likely to experience a positive pregnancy journey.

This indicates that the soon-to-be dad should focus on building a supportive environment rather than dismissing his partner's needs. Active listening, validation of feelings, and sharing responsibilities can enhance their relationship and provide the emotional support necessary during this transitional phase.

Someone said it was awful of OP to diminish his efforts as a breadwinner

Grand_Courage_8682

OP is about to give birth, and she is still doing all of the housework. OP is right to say he "just provides"

LillianGordon335

Quickly, dear husband, how do you improve OP's life?

letstrythisagain30

Behavioral psychology provides insight into how expectations can shape interactions between partners. The concept of 'cognitive dissonance' posits that when our beliefs about a situation clash with our behaviors, it can lead to discomfort that prompts us to rationalize our actions. In this case, the soon-to-be dad may feel overwhelmed by the impending changes, leading him to dismiss his partner's struggles instead of addressing his own fears.

Recognizing these patterns can be a first step toward healthier communication. Couples are encouraged to engage in open discussions about their feelings and fears, which can foster mutual understanding and emotional intimacy.

OP's baby will have better manners than their dad

kittydeathdrop

Oh god, this explains so much

LillianGordon335

Will he yell fake news if OP serves him divorce papers?

GazelleFearless5381

Addressing Miscommunication

Miscommunication can significantly impact relationships during pregnancy. A clinical psychologist notes that during periods of stress, individuals often resort to defensive communication styles, which can escalate conflicts rather than resolve them. The 'Four Horsemen' identified by Dr. John Gottman—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—can emerge in such situations and should be actively avoided.

To combat this, couples should practice 'active listening,' where one partner reflects back what they heard before responding. This technique can prevent misunderstandings and help both partners feel validated in their experiences.

Bet he brags about his "swimmers" to his buddies

xxfallenangelxrd

The math ain't mathing

LAM_humor1156

There is literally no way for you to be going through exactly what your pregnant wife is going through

codeverity

Understanding the physical toll of pregnancy is crucial for both partners. Research indicates that pregnancy can lead to substantial physical and emotional changes, including chronic pain and mood disturbances (as outlined by the National Institutes of Health). The pregnant partner's experience may be exacerbated by societal expectations that downplay these challenges, leading to feelings of isolation or frustration.

Recognizing the legitimacy of these experiences can foster compassion and support within the relationship. Open dialogues about physical limitations and emotional needs are essential for navigating this journey together.

See? If you exchange roles, then pregnancy is not so easy, is it?

Inconceivable44

Is the watermelon ready to come out, honey?

dead4seven

He doesn't believe in therapy, so it's difficult to see where their marriage is going from here

unjessicabiel_evable

Navigating Gender Roles

The dynamics of traditional gender roles can complicate the emotional landscape during pregnancy. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that men often feel pressured to embody the 'strong, stoic' archetype, which can lead to emotional suppression. This can make it difficult for them to empathize or respond appropriately to their partner's needs.

Encouraging a more flexible understanding of masculinity that allows for emotional expression can be beneficial. Engaging with support groups or counseling can help partners redefine their roles as they prepare for parenthood, fostering a more balanced partnership.

If you can't be supportive, don't risk getting anyone pregnant

DrWhoop87

He should be waiting on OP hand and foot

g3nab33

He will be more useful this way according to ancient teachings

deakers

To promote a healthier relationship during pregnancy, it's vital for couples to engage in shared responsibilities. Research shows that equitable division of labor can enhance relationship satisfaction and reduce stress levels for both partners (according to studies from UC Berkeley). When partners actively work together to manage chores and responsibilities, it can alleviate feelings of resentment and foster a sense of teamwork.

Practically, they might consider creating a chore chart or discussing expectations openly, ensuring both partners feel heard and valued.

Rent one of those machines, OP, and see how much he complains!

NiteGrimwood

There is no doubt that he will be like this once the baby is out

sueelleker, All_the_Bees

Perfect analogy!

Skips-mamma-llama

The Importance of Validation

Validation is a powerful tool in any relationship, especially during challenging times. According to Dr. Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability, the act of validating another person's feelings can significantly improve emotional connections. For the soon-to-be dad, acknowledging his partner's struggles rather than dismissing them can help bridge emotional gaps and foster intimacy.

Practicing validation involves not only acknowledging the feelings expressed but also expressing understanding and support, which can be transformative in the relationship.

Pay attention to the red flags, OP

MT_061619

A lot of women first experience abuse when they are pregnant. The numbers are horrifying.

MT_061619

We don't want this marriage to end this way

FerretAcrobatic4379

Ultimately, the journey into parenthood is one of the most significant transitions a couple can make. Research from the University of Pennsylvania highlights that couples who actively engage in relationship education programs often report improved relationship satisfaction and lower levels of conflict during the transition to parenthood. These programs can help couples learn effective communication and conflict resolution skills that are essential when navigating the complexities of pregnancy.

Seeking such resources could be a valuable step for the couple in question, providing them with skills that not only benefit their current situation but also their long-term relationship.

OP did absolutely nothing wrong when she complained about her pregnancy aches. Literally growing a human inside you is nothing short of amazing and absolutely taxing for a person.

A woman who is seven months pregnant has no business doing chores all over the house and stressing about whether her pregnancy is inconvenient for her husband, who willingly got her pregnant. For OP's sake, as well as her child's, that husband better gain a new perspective on this because he is about to become an awful dad and ex-husband.

Psychological Analysis

The behavior of the soon-to-be dad reflects a common struggle with emotional regulation, especially when faced with the stress of impending parenthood. His dismissive comments about his wife's experience may stem from insecurity and a misunderstanding of the physical and emotional toll pregnancy takes on her. This highlights the importance of empathy and open communication; both partners need to feel heard and supported during such a significant transition.

Analysis generated by AI

Healing Approaches & Techniques

In summary, navigating the emotional and physical challenges of pregnancy requires empathy, communication, and a commitment to partnership. Research shows that when couples actively engage in supportive behaviors and foster open dialogues, they can enhance their relationship satisfaction and better manage the stresses of impending parenthood. As highlighted by Dr. Gottman and other relationship experts, the key lies in recognizing each partner's needs and working collaboratively to address them.

With the right support, understanding, and shared responsibilities, couples can transform this challenging time into an opportunity for growth and deeper connection, setting a strong foundation for their family.