When Daycare Keeps Contacting the Mother Even Though She Insists Her Husband Is the Primary Caretaker, Twitter Users Vent About Gender Inequality
"I was a single father with sole custody. They would continually insist on calling her mother first, even though the mother would tell them I am the main contact."
There are existing, albeit sometimes unfair, standards that apply when you have a child. These standards often assume that mothers are always the primary caregivers in every situation.
As fortunate as children with caring mothers may be, they aren’t the primary caretakers every single time. Sometimes, it’s the fathers who navigate the everyday lives of their children.
This doesn’t imply that mothers are ignorant or reckless; it simply means that there might be an existing agreement between the two parents about what compromise works best when raising a child. Designating the father as the primary caregiver because the mother has a busy career is no different than if the roles were reversed.
Some people can’t see past this. They insist that mothers should handle any decisions related to their children and refuse to trust anyone else.
This not only endangers the child in an emergency if those individuals can reach the mother, who is swamped with work, but it also undermines the hard work fathers do to care for their children. It’s a troubling case of inequality that Dr. Raina Brands highlighted on Twitter as she shared her own experience with it.
The story began when the daycare where her son attends called her every time they had an emergency or questions, even though she instructed them to direct their calls to her partner.
RainaBrandsShe emphasized that they tried to contact him, but it fell on deaf ears, and they called her again.
RainaBrandsDr. Brands recounted that her husband handled all the step-by-step processes of getting their son into the daycare, but they couldn’t accept that he was the primary caregiver.
RainaBrands
It was a case of gender inequality and, apparently, more common than we think, as many people commented on similar experiences.
RainaBrands
They began with suggestions on how Dr. Brands could handle the situation if it persisted.
mswen07
Change the records, and maybe they wouldn’t dismiss it when her husband answers.
HCIBSW
If politeness over the phone still wouldn’t stop their insistence…
mdanceur
then showing up in person and taking matters into your own hands might do the trick.
mdanceur
Someone familiar with the subject offered her two cents and wished people good luck.
cooper_338
If you think keeping records straight and following simple instructions from parents is hard, it’s not. Take it from someone who knows how daycare works.
LizRummel
Scaring them like this seemed to work for this user who experienced something similar a few times.
No1CDAtty
It might even be the caller who is insistent on never contacting the dad; it could be something like this.
LorraineMccfly
Gender inequality remains prevalent even in this modern era, and many people suffer from it.
djhilton7
It is disrespectful when both parents are trying to care for their children in the best way possible.
logical_one57
It shouldn’t be surprising or looked down upon.
ocultado
The stubbornness defeats the purpose of wanting to assist with childcare.
DebraJ43
Threatening her? That must be against the rules for false allegations.
francesthoughts
This was easily avoidable, but many people believe they are above the decisions parents make and overrule them.
francesthoughts
And yet, mothers would bend over backward and still consider that normal or expected of them.
Fulcrum_Ashla
Took them long enough.
runningdoc7
It doesn’t even matter if they see them available; they don’t want to 'disturb' them.
DeniseDT
It shouldn't have to be said twice.
BurgartBioethix
It's not like the dad can't relay the information himself to her if he chooses to.
AhnaleeB
The keyword 'expected' is already bad enough, but to be denied because you don't meet that expectation is something else.
CJCHooper
It's as if they wouldn't listen even if you showed them all of the paperwork.
ChrisFromJerse1
He is more than capable of taking that call and knowing about his child.
alexjhrtmn
It's not just you; unfortunately, it's a lot of people.
docbayliss1
If they're so hesitant to refer to just one parent, the least they could do is email both of them.
LisaKBarth
This may seem like it gives the mother control over decisions, but it limits their ability to be career-driven or pursue related interests.
FionaSoper
Would nothing work if there's no p*nis? This is ridiculous.
kelseycombe
She could give them a rundown of everything they discussed, and they still wouldn't hear her.
AshleighPat
If they can't handle your choices, then they don't deserve to manage something as significant as your finances.
nilikm
It doesn't make sense, and it's a wonder if it's actually in their fine print that no one knows about.
JoelSmith272
An iconic comeback from a legendary person.
yurotrash
Because apparently only men can sign.
edge_of_the_map
Why assume when you can simply ask?
tina_bil8
He lost more than his commission; he lost his temper too.
jawillia11
Parents take their time to decide what would be best for their children in the long run. This means determining how they will split the workload and care for them daily.
This post began with parents' experiences of gender inequality and continued to highlight gender inequality in general. There are many ways this could be addressed, and hopefully, it starts by reducing stereotypical assumptions.
Have you experienced similar situations? You can share your stories with us.
