Senior Colleague Breaks Down In Tears After Termed Problematic For Being Against Ethnic Food
"I do understand some people are sensitive or allergic to aromas"
A 28-year-old woman’s day started with a gut punch, her dog had just passed away, and she was already fragile. Then a senior colleague dropped an “ethnic food is smelly” comment, like it was casual workplace banter instead of a direct hit at OP’s identity.
What makes this messy is that it was not a one-off. OP says the same colleague had previously dismissed her grief, telling her to “get over” her dog, and the office ran on the idea that they’re “a huge family,” so nobody wanted to rock the boat. Add in the lack of HR at a small company, and the whole thing turns into a slow-motion conflict where one comment sparks full-on tears.
Here’s the full story of how a lunchroom insult spiraled into a workplace blowup.
The OP writes
Reddit/HibiscusandRoseOP's dog just passed away and she made a remark
Reddit/HibiscusandRoseThe unfolding situation with the senior colleague's emotional breakdown underscores a critical need for cultural sensitivity in the workplace. The article illustrates how a dismissal of ethnic foods—a vital expression of identity—can lead to profound misunderstandings. The incident serves as a poignant reminder that neglecting to appreciate diverse culinary traditions can create rifts among colleagues.
This moment highlights the urgency of cultivating an inclusive environment where all cultural backgrounds are respected and celebrated, especially when food is such a powerful medium for sharing and understanding different values and experiences.
What bothered the OP is that she was talking about how "ethnic food is smelly"
Reddit/HibiscusandRose
And the comments roll in...
Reddit/HibiscusandRose
That “ethnic food is smelly” remark lands right after OP mentions her dog just died, and the timing makes it feel personal, not playful.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:
Sorry, how do I do this? I feel like I have outlined why I am conflicted here. I told her that what she said was offensive after she remarked that my "ethnic food was smelly," and she burst into tears. I also provided background on why I feel I am sensitive to her.
Talking to HR
Reddit/HibiscusandRose
The OP works in a toxic environment
Reddit/HibiscusandRose
When OP told her the comment was offensive, the senior colleague burst into tears, flipping the moment into a blame game instead of an apology.
When individuals feel their cultural preferences are dismissed, it can lead to feelings of alienation and frustration.
You don't say inappropriate things to people
Reddit/HibiscusandRose
And the comments continue...
Reddit/HibiscusandRose
Things get worse fast because OP says there’s no HR to handle it, and the office keeps brushing off incidents with the “we are a huge family” excuse.
The OP leaves more details in the comments section
We are a small company, so no HR (unfortunately...), and I have attempted various times to address incidents, including her telling me to get over my dog who crossed the Rainbow Bridge recently, but they believe in the whole "we are a huge family" and turn a blind eye.It is one of the biggest reasons why I want to leave. However, I have been documenting what she's doing and have considered posting on Glassdoor and similar sites.
Going to HR
Reddit/HibiscusandRose
The company is small
Reddit/HibiscusandRose
By the time OP is documenting everything and considering posting on Glassdoor, the workplace “family” vibe starts to look like a cover for repeated disrespect.</p>
Promoting Open Dialogue About Cultural Differences
Encouraging open discussions about cultural preferences can enhance understanding within teams.
Such initiatives can foster empathy and build stronger relationships among colleagues.
She's being racist
Reddit/HibiscusandRose
The recent incident where a senior colleague broke down in tears after being labeled problematic for opposing ethnic food underscores the complexities of workplace dynamics influenced by cultural factors. This situation illustrates how essential it is to acknowledge and respect different cultural backgrounds within professional settings.
The reluctance to embrace ethnic food can serve as a metaphor for broader cultural misunderstandings that can hinder collaboration. By recognizing the significance of food as a cultural bridge, organizations can better navigate these dynamics and promote an atmosphere of inclusion.
Encouraging employees to engage with diverse culinary traditions not only fosters understanding but also enhances overall workplace morale and productivity. Ultimately, creating an inclusive environment is crucial for both the well-being of employees and the success of the organization.
OP says that she is one of the few people of color working there. Things have gotten worse since this woman and the OP started working more closely.
Apparently, this senior colleague has made numerous comments to the OP, some of which have been microaggressive. Redditors understood what the OP was going through, and she was declared not the AH.
Creating safe spaces for employees to express their cultural needs can also promote inclusivity.
Regular feedback sessions can provide opportunities for team members to voice their concerns and preferences.
The family dinner never ends, it just turns into OP deciding she has to leave.
For more workplace betrayal, see what happened when a coworker took credit for my project idea.
