Man Urges Wife To Quit Smoking, Citing Original Agreement Made At Start Of Their Relationship, Now She Smokes Around Their Child

We're back with another infamous AITA thread post from Reddit, where we'll be looking into a post that someone submitted to get unbiased advice from the internet. This thread is very popular, and people love to share their own ideas and perspectives in the comments, which makes things that much more interesting.

With that being said, we're looking into a post today that was submitted by a man who wants to know if he is in the wrong for trying to get his wife to stop smoking. He says that it was something she discussed a long time ago, but she hasn't made any effort to stop, and he wants to talk to her about it.

He explains in detail his issues with this and that he's spoken to her about it before, but there's been no change, and now there's a baby involved. He's looking for advice, and people in the comments were ready to provide it to him.

If you're interested in looking at the full situation and seeing the actual original post itself, then stay tuned. We're going to dive in and give you the full original post plus all of the best comments that were left on it as well, so get ready.

OP gave us lots of backstory on the situation and on what was going on with her smoking and his thoughts on the whole thing.

u/Strange_Basket1109

He then goes into detail about how now it's especially bothering him because they have a child together and she's smoking around their child.

u/Strange_Basket1109

So many people were focused on how much she smokes a day because it's definitely excessive, and we can't imagine smoking that much while being around a baby as well.

BoyoDee

Navigating Relationship Agreements

Agreements made at the beginning of a relationship often serve as foundational elements for trust and mutual respect. Research shows that when partners establish clear expectations around behaviors like smoking, it can prevent misunderstandings and foster accountability. According to Dr. John Gottman’s relationship research, maintaining agreed-upon boundaries enhances relationship satisfaction and reduces conflict.

In this case, the original agreement about smoking is not just a personal health concern but a critical relational boundary.

Well, I mean this person is absolutely right; that's that. But also, if it's becoming a dealbreaker, then that's that.

Purple-Try8602

It's insane how much she's smoking if it's really that much a day because we can't imagine what that is like for all of them living with her.

HereFishyFishy4444

This is true as well because there's no way, but maybe he needs to take a different approach when talking to her about it and make it more of a necessity for both of them.

nycgarbagewhore

Additionally, individuals may feel a sense of betrayal when agreements are not honored, which can lead to resentment. Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher and author, states, "When trust is broken, it creates a rift that can be difficult to mend, often resulting in emotional distance and dissatisfaction in relationships." Her insights can be found on her professional website, terriorbuch.com, where she discusses the impact of trust on relationship dynamics.

One hard thing that a lot of people have learned is that you can't stop someone else from smoking, and you can't make them quit; that's their call.

Possible_Living

It could be something to do with postpartum if she didn't smoke as much before the baby, but either way, that's a lot, and it definitely is something that needs to be cut down on.

JessWillMakeIt2Day

Quitting something like smoking is a big deal, and it requires support from everyone in that person's life, so his support of her is important.

Shryxer

Fostering Healthy Communication About Agreements

To address these concerns, couples can engage in open dialogues about their feelings regarding the original agreements. Experts recommend using 'I' statements to express feelings without attributing blame, fostering a more constructive conversation. Research indicates that couples who communicate openly about their needs and expectations are more likely to maintain healthy dynamics.

This would be a good compromise; maybe if they can't work together for her to stop completely, he should consider this.

annamariapix

This situation is definitely a little all over the place, but setting boundaries and coming to a compromise is essential for both of them. It's definitely something that needs to be discussed between the two of them so they can come to an agreement.

Furthermore, setting regular check-ins can help partners reassess and discuss their agreements over time. This proactive approach allows for adjustments based on changing circumstances, helping to reinforce commitment and understanding within the relationship.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the importance of honoring agreements within relationships. It’s crucial for both partners to communicate openly about their feelings and expectations to maintain a healthy and trusting dynamic.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, navigating agreements in relationships requires open communication and mutual respect. By discussing feelings around established boundaries, couples can foster a deeper understanding and commitment to one another. Research consistently supports the idea that healthy communication practices enhance relationship satisfaction and emotional intimacy.