Black Woman Finally Calls Her Mother-In-Law Racist After Years Of Microaggressions
She introduces her to people as her "black daughter-in-law"
A 32-year-old black woman has been married for six years to her white husband. Her husband's mom, Lisa, has been making sly comments about the original poster (OP) for years.
For example, she once said OP's hair is "nappy" and advised OP to have it straightened; a piece of advice she did not appreciate and immediately shut down. She also made a comment about an Asian cashier's eyes and justified it with, "How can I be racist when my daughter-in-law is black?"
When OP was pregnant with their daughter, Lisa said she wished her granddaughter would have her son's blue eyes. When OP's daughter was born with brown eyes, Lisa didn't bother hiding her disappointment.
Next, when OP's son was born with hazel eyes and tight curls, Lisa also had something to say about that. She said, "You can't have the best of everything," implying that OP's daughter is blessed to have light skin and looser curls while her son is lucky to have "pretty eyes."
OP told her husband about all of his mother's little comments, but he brushed it off and excused her as a "product of her time." OP thought nothing more of it until their recent six-year wedding anniversary.
They held a party and, of course, invited Lisa, who asked if she could also invite some of her friends. OP readily agreed to Lisa's request because she didn't want her to feel out of place at a party with younger people.
When Lisa's friends showed up, she introduced OP as her "black daughter-in-law"
This immediately made OP feel uncomfortable. She pulled Lisa aside and told her that she did not want to be addressed as such.
Lisa shrugged off OP's request and even said, "You're my daughter-in-law, and you're black. You people are so sensitive." All of OP's pent-up anger came spilling out.
OP said she can't remember everything she told her mother-in-law, but she does remember calling her a racist b*tch. Lisa walked away from OP, went to the kitchen, and started to cry.
She got everyone's attention, and they all went to see what the commotion was about. She told everyone that OP is an evil woman who was trying to ruin her relationship with her son and her grandchildren.
She also included how OP called her a racist b*tch. Everyone at the party felt sorry for Lisa; they became hostile towards OP and told her she went too far.
After the party, OP and her husband had a fight about Lisa. He told his wife she should apologize to his mother, and when she said she would never do that unless Lisa apologized first, he got even angrier and went to stay at his mother's house.
Sad-Investigator-218
OP's original Reddit post can be read below:
Sad-Investigator-218
"How can I be racist?" Just like this, lady.
Sad-Investigator-218
"Pretty" eyes
Sad-Investigator-218
Sad-Investigator-218
She started to cry, of course.
Sad-Investigator-218
Too far? Really?
Sad-Investigator-218
OP did nothing wrong and shouldn't apologize. However, her husband should apologize to her.
TheDuchess5939
By going to his mother's house, he is very blatantly siding with her and her racist behavior.
pprkkh0107
If you see no problem with racists, that must mean you are racist as well.
viccihernandez
A person commented that OP's husband is not really racist; he is simply unaware.
WebbityWebbs
Other Reddit users shut that down quickly.
Dexterdacerealkilla
Just because you're not actively participating in the racism while it happens around you, by not calling it out, you are enabling it.
AnnaBanana1129
Justifying racism is racist.
Planet_Ziltoidia
This is not far from reality.
selfobcesspool
He's been married to OP for six years; they have mixed-race children, and somehow he's okay with excusing racism.
EmotionalApartment6
Oh yeah, a product of her time is a bullcrap excuse. She's 56, not born in 1780.
Petit_Corbeau
Even if she were 96, racism is still wrong.
TheShallowState
The husband is complicit in his mother's racism; he is not innocent.
Boobles008
OP should definitely do this. I mean, it's just a fact.
NotThisAgain21, TexasKatt33
People of color have been fighting for equality for a long time, and this is not a novel idea to Lisa.
ArcanTemival
ArcanTemival
It truly is a lazy excuse.
OvaltineDeathFantasy
Being around her and people like her cannot be healthy for OP's children.
LoganRRollins
Has she always been like this?
betsycrocker
She was nice to OP because they didn't live close enough, and she's not just racist; she's also a misogynist.
Sad-Investigator-218
"If you have one Nazi and five others at the table, you have six Nazis."
TimelordATX
Of course, she's going to downplay this and call OP an "angry black woman."
Sad-Investigator-218
OP should stop being a part of this awful family, to be honest.
Geekfreak2000
Time to make the husband choose and go make a response post on Facebook, OP.
Amanda071320
Is it even a family gathering if there's no drama in the middle of it? This party, however, has an extra helping of racism nobody asked for.
OP should start taking a long, hard look at her life and the people she and her kids are surrounded by. It can't be easy being married to someone who can't even call out racist attacks against you and your own children.
