Refusing to Ride in Strangers Car at Work: AITA or Just Being Cautious?

A 19-year-old intern refused to ride in a coworker’s van at work, and somehow that turned into a whole drama scene. It wasn’t some random Uber situation, it was inside a “store” area of her job, where she’s basically doing shelf and basket prep for the kitchen. Still, the moment a man she didn’t know showed up and a coworker told her to get in, she froze up and said no.

Here’s where it gets messy: VV tells her to go help bring wheel baskets to a guy’s van, then she checks with CC, who says yes, she should ride along. When she asks if she can refuse because she doesn’t feel comfortable in a stranger’s car, CC shrugs and says nobody will force her. Then VV calls her back later, gets annoyed, calls her dramatic, and leaves with the man anyway.

Now OP’s stuck wondering if she’s being “stubborn,” or if she was the only one acting like her safety mattered.

Original Post

So I (19F) have been taking a summer job as an Intern. *(My very first job)* For the month *(can't tell the work place due to contra policy but just get it's a sort of restoration stuff)*.

And Today I got into an argument with a coworker. Because I refused to get in someone van I didn't knew.

**In short** I work what is called the "store", it's a sort of wearhouse inside my job building, where we storage all the food for the kitchen. And my job is basicly to put things in basket's for the following day's and tidy the shelves.

As I was tidying something on a shelf, when I heard "yeah (my name) will go with you." I turned around to see my coworker *(Let's call him VV)* speaking with another man, He called me over and I help them bring some wheel basket's to charge in the guy van. Then I left to ask another coworker, *(let's call her CC)*, and asked her if I was supposed to go with the man in his car and she answers yes.

I ask if I can refuse, because I don't feel comfortable going in a sranger car despite him being known by my coworker's. She said "he's not bad but if you don't want, we won't force you." I was like ok.

So I went back to my bread shelf and later VV who has been talking to the man. Calls me telling me to go with the guy.

I says No. he answer "what you mean No ?", and responded that I didn't felt comfortable getting in a stranger van, even if it's to deliver the basket somewhere around the facility.

I don't know that guy. VV called me dramatic and with CC help he left me alone and went with the man.

Calling me stuborn before leaving. I told my parent's and family about it, they are all on my side, telling me I've explained myself and it wasn't by lazyness but by uncomfort.

And that my "store" job wasn't to go around in a car to deliver stuff. We're not even sure I was even allowed to get in a car in the first place or allowed to leave the store during work hour's.

+ The Coworker, isn't my boss. I told my boss why I didn't left and she told me, they wouldn't put me with someone they wouldn't trust but If I didn't felt comfortable, well it's fine.

I done the job they gave me anyway. I just hope I don't get in trouble for that.

What do you think ? am I the AITA ?

Edit: I am french, i excuse my bad grammar 😅 I just wrote in english because there's more people who can interact than french ones. And my grammar in french sucks as well anyway.

It's no surprise that the Reddit user felt pressured in their situation.

Comment from u/silfy_star

Comment from u/MisterHotrod

While OP is just tidying shelves in the “store,” VV is already talking her into getting into a van with a man she doesn’t know.

However, it's also important to consider the psychology behind their discomfort.

Comment from u/SamSpayedPI

Comment from u/CheeseMakingMom

The uncertainty about whether the task was part of their duties could have compounded the Reddit user's discomfort significantly. Ambiguity can lead to increased anxiety and hesitation in individuals. When people are unclear about their responsibilities, it can create a cognitive dissonance that stresses their ability to assert themselves confidently in the workplace.

This internal conflict often results in second-guessing and self-doubt, which can hinder productivity and overall job satisfaction. In this case, the user’s hesitation can be seen as a protective mechanism, highlighting the critical role that clarity in job roles and expectations plays in mitigating anxiety.

Comment from u/Kind_Mushroom4189

Comment from u/zealot_ratio

After CC tells her she can refuse, VV flips the script and calls her back like her “no” is a personal attack.

It's noteworthy that the Reddit user stood their ground despite potential social backlash.

Similar to the daughter snapping at her mom during the birthday weekend, “my house, my rules” sparks conflict.

Comment from u/jdimpson

Comment from u/Tough-Combination-37

The Power of Peer Influence

The coworker's disagreement could have further fueled the intern's discomfort, creating a challenging environment for personal growth.

Comment from u/Eldhannas

Comment from u/Nearby_Gain4634

OP’s explanation is simple, stranger car, no comfort, but VV and CC treat it like she’s being difficult for no reason.

From a psychological perspective, the Reddit user's response to this situation is quite normal and understandable.

Comment from u/First-Stress-9893

Comment from u/Remarkable-Ad3665

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

Comment from u/UnhappyCryptographer

Comment from u/k23_k23

Comment from u/CoCoaStitchesArt

Comment from u/LavenderKitty1

Comment from u/HobbyPanda_FT6

With OP’s parents backing her up and her boss hearing the story, the real question becomes whether she actually crossed any work rules at all.

In conclusion, the Reddit user's decision to decline getting into the stranger's car, despite the pressure from a coworker, is backed by several psychological principles. These include conformity and peer influence, the 'stranger danger' concept, risk aversion under uncertainty, and assertiveness tied to self-efficacy. Their response showcases the intricate interplay of social, cognitive, and developmental factors that shape our decisions in complex situations (Spear and Kulhavy, 1981;