Jobs That Are Relationship Deal-Breakers, According To Redditors

A 28-year-old woman refused to play nice when she realized her boyfriend’s “career” was basically a sales pitch with a side of guilt. On Reddit, she wasn’t talking about a normal job deal-breaker like hours or commute time, she was talking about the kind of work that drags your whole relationship into the spotlight, then asks you to clap for it.

The thread gets messy fast. People start chiming in about influencer life, detox teas, and MLMs, and how the “hustle culture” vibe can poison everything at home. Then it shifts to the more physical, more intense jobs, like firefighters working 24-hour shifts and cops dealing with calls and schedules that leave almost nothing for real life. Even when everyone means well, the day-to-day reality can feel like a slow breakup.

Here’s the full story.

Influencer

"If your full-time gig is selling detox teas and promoting pyramid schemes, I’m out.

Bonus red flag if "hustle culture" is your religion."

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"Anyone who peddles MLM products and services. It totally wrecked my marriage. My ex appears to be happily remarried to someone who was in his downline."

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Exploring Job-Related Deal-Breakers

Career choices can significantly impact interpersonal relationships, often leading to friction or compatibility issues. Research in social psychology indicates that individuals often look for partners who share similar values and lifestyles, which can include work-related aspects.

For instance, long hours, high stress, or travel requirements can detract from emotional availability, leading to dissatisfaction in relationships.

Firefighters

"As a retired firefighter/paramedic, I'd say firefighters. It seems like lots of women in their 20's think dating/marrying a firefighter is like some kind of fantasy dream.

The truth is we work 24 hour shifts and a large part of the time on our days off all we do is sleep. The schedule and the amount of calls just beat your body to hell.

So many folks go into the fire service looking like a Greek god or goddess, but ten, twenty years later they're just broken and beat up with chronic knee pain and back pain and hearing loss. This is all aside from the serious trauma they deal with which so much of the time we can't even talk about because few people want to hear it.

Lots of jobs take a physical toll, lots of jobs take a mental toll, but very few jobs take the physical AND mental toll that being a first responder does."

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Cops

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In the realm of relationships, certain factors can act as significant deal-breakers, often reflecting deeper psychological issues or unmet needs. For instance, career choices that demand excessive time away from the partner can trigger feelings of neglect and insecurity.

Understanding these underlying motivations can help individuals navigate their feelings towards their partner’s career choices and whether they align with their relationship goals.

"Clown, I don't need the competition."

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Military service members

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Furthermore, studies show that job satisfaction is closely linked to personal happiness, which can spill over into partnerships.

Stand up comedians

"Weird work hours and locations. Whole months away for fringe festivals.

Casual alcohol, d**g use, infidelity. Worst of all: Anthing that happens in your relationship will be made public if they think they can make it funny/interesting."

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Farmer

"Volatile income due to many external factors you can’t control, high rates of depression/suicide and all the ugliness that comes from mental health challenges, inability to get away, and just an overall doom and gloom mindset.

It may feel idyllic at first or the rare year things go well, but overall it’s just one crisis after another. I say that as a former farmer."

Reddit

When the discussion starts with detox teas and “hustle culture” being treated like a religion, you can almost hear the relationship alarms going off.</p>

Research indicates that differing values and priorities can lead to relationship dissatisfaction.

Chef

"I have nothing against chefs. But, a lot of people think that dating a chef means he will cook for you all the time, you kinda romanticize his job - but it's actually the opposite.

Cooking is work, and we don't like to bring work home with us. His hours are s**t.

Weekends, holidays, nights. You want to all have Thanksgiving as a family?

That might not be the case if you're in a serious relationship/marriage with a chef. Also, artists.

I say this as someone who paints (I don't like to say I'm an "artist") so I might be a major hypocrite here. But there is something about the art world that draws some of the most self-centered people on earth."

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Entrepeneur

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Maintaining a work-life balance is crucial for relationship health.

Bartending

"Bartending. You miss all events because you're working nights, other events, or at the event

Edit: ps I'm a bartender, this is what my most recent ex and I said as she also used to be industry."

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Truck drivers

"For me truck drivers. My dad is one and I see how my mom hates missing him.

She loves him loving his job, but hates not seeing him…."

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Occupational stress can have profound effects on personal relationships.

"The amount of cheating in the flight and cabin crew world is wild."

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"Any job with big hours or that's dangerous. I had a workaholic parent and I promised myself I'll never have a workaholic as a partner."

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Another factor to consider is how job stress can affect emotional availability.

"I had a friend who worked at a funeral home for 10 years. He always said he would have better luck if he told women that he had been in prison for 10 years."

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"I wouldn’t date anyone in the sex industry."

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That’s when the firefighter story hits, with the retired firefighter explaining how 24-hour shifts and sleep-only days off wreck bodies and plans alike.</p>

It's important to recognize that the impact of a partner's job goes beyond financial implications.

Any job?

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"Attorney. Dated one for 6 years. The constant competition killed it for me."

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Shared Values and Career Goals

Shared career aspirations and values can enhance compatibility in relationships.

Engaging in open conversations about career ambitions can help partners understand each other's motivations and reduce resentment over time commitments.

Family gathering chaos, like when someone declined their sister’s last-minute engagement announcement.

Brokers

"Brokers— any kind of broker. Real estate, insurance, investment.

They’re always networking. Their goals are all sales oriented.

And the number of people in these fields who then devolve into treating their personal relationships as transactional is too damn high."

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A seafarer

"Based on experience cause I'm currently a seafarer. Long contracts and lack of reliable cell services can be a burden.

Aside from those there is also the stigma if you date a seafarer chances are they are getting laid every time we arrive at ports. Like wtf, its not that there are lines of women waiting for us outside the port area.

Most of my time is spent looking at the sea and finding a reliable and stable cell service."

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Identifying Personal Deal-Breakers

Individuals must take the time to reflect on their own deal-breakers, which often stem from personal values and past experiences. Psychological studies suggest that understanding one's non-negotiables is crucial for relationship success. For instance, if a person has previously experienced infidelity, they may have a low tolerance for dishonesty, making that a significant deal-breaker.

Self-reflection exercises, like journaling about past relationship experiences, can help individuals clarify their boundaries and deal-breakers, leading to healthier relationship choices.

"Friend of mine dated a chef, she now advises anyone who will listen to never date one. She says you never seen them."

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A male teacher

"Hey baby, how’d you like to date a male teacher? I have to work evenings and weekends to keep up with an unreasonable workload.

I’m cranky because I deal with social issues and don’t get mental health support to process witnessed or second-hand trauma. There’s a pretty good statistical chance I won’t break six figures until I’m in my late 50s or early 60s, my pay doesn’t match inflation, and there’s a social perception that I’m in teaching cause I’m a pervert.

Baby? Where are you going?

Stop running girl, I help build up my community! Why you throwing Starbucks gift cards at me!?”

Yeah, there’s a reason I’ve only dated fellow educators."

Reddit

Moreover, job security can be a significant concern for many couples.

"When I grew up, the local fish mongers assistant just could not get a date. My sisters joked that he was the last man on earth to date as no matter how he washed, the fish smell lingered."

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"Surgeons, I listen to them complain about their wives and kids during surgery."

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Right after that, the thread circles back to the influencer and MLM red flags, where someone’s ex ended up happily remarried to a person in the downline.</p>

Communication is key when discussing deal-breakers in relationships.

"People in the army…."

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"Judging from what I see with celebrities, definitely being an actor/actress."

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Effective communication is key when navigating the challenges posed by job-related deal-breakers. Couples should feel empowered to express their concerns and needs without fear of judgment.

Utilizing tools like structured dialogues or regular check-ins can help partners maintain clarity and understanding, which can prevent misunderstandings related to work obligations.

"Only Fans."

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"Probably any that involve risking your life and not being home for long periods."

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Career changes can often bring stress and uncertainty that impact relationships.

"Investment bankers. Arrogant and always working. 2 of them told me their sex drive is dead."

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Personal trainers

"As a personal trainer; Personal Trainers.

You're not horny, you're just exercising. Leave your PT alone.

They're completely different outside the gym, and often are very boring people."

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Lastly, recognizing the potential for personal growth through career changes can be beneficial. Research in vocational psychology suggests that individuals who support each other's career transitions often strengthen their relationship bonds.

Encouraging each other to pursue educational opportunities or new job prospects can lead to both personal fulfillment and relational satisfaction.

"Anything that requires spending a long time apart."

"I wouldn’t date a Pilot, flight attendant, military etc. These are also the people who are notorious for cheating on their spouses.

EDIT: Also MINERS, the next town over is a mining town with a population of 23,000 and they were so horny that the men would pool their money together and fly out prostitutes from the nearest city and use the women for a long weekend and then fly them back. I forgot how gross miners can be.

So glad I moved away from that place. That town was truly the a*****e of Australia.

Just a dirty town that made you feel like you were in the gutter. It had that underlying feeling that there was something sinister below the surface. Pls don’t ask me what town, I don’t want anyone finding out my location.

EDIT 2: There was also a FaceBook page called the “*** Mines Cheaters” which caused chaos, broke relationships, tore families apart and ruined the lives of the kids of those families. It got shut down but a lot of men and women were outed as cheaters on that page. It was a clusterfuck."

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Police

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And then the cops segment lands, pointing out how constant time away and the pressure of the job can make a partner feel neglected and insecure.</p>

Ultimately, relationship deal-breakers are subjective and can vary widely from person to person.

"Pilots and Flight Attendants. Irregular hours and long periods away from home can make maintaining a stable relationship challenging."

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"My friend once dated an “ethical hacker”. He was so “ethical” that he also checked all her messages for her so she didn’t have to do it!"

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This Reddit discussion was truly revealing. Is your job on the list?

If it is, do you agree with these POVs, or do you see things differently? Anyway, these deal-breaker jobs tell us more about what we value most in relationships.

So, if you suspect your job is affecting your dating life, maybe it's time to consider changing it.

"‘Entrepreneur’ with 8 side-hustles"

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Military, police, firemen

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Cargo ship or such

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Film and tv worker

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Engineers?

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Nurses

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Working opposite schedules

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The article highlights how certain professions, such as those involving dishonesty or lack of compassion, can be red flags for many individuals. Engaging in discussions about one’s values and expectations, especially regarding career-related deal-breakers, can foster healthier relationships. By recognizing the psychological implications of these choices, partners can preemptively address potential conflicts, ensuring that their differing views on work do not evolve into insurmountable barriers.

As the article reveals, the intersection of career choices and relationship dynamics can often unveil deeper issues than mere personality traits. The discussion around certain jobs being viewed as deal-breakers highlights the need for open communication and a mutual understanding of each other's professional lives. This is not just about personal preferences but speaks to the larger themes of shared values and the importance of work-life balance in modern relationships.

When partners are willing to discuss their career-related concerns, they not only pave the way for greater empathy but also strengthen their bond. By fostering an environment where both personal aspirations and relational commitments are respected, couples can navigate the complexities of their professional worlds together, thus enhancing their overall connection and growth.

Nobody wants to feel like their relationship is on shift too.

Want another relationship strain? See what happened when a friend expected you to foot an expensive dinner bill. Friend Expects Me to Foot Bill for Expensive Dinner - AITA?