Jobs That Are Relationship Deal-Breakers, According To Redditors

We all have that one deal-breaker in relationships that we just can't compromise on. Common red flags often include disrespectful treatment of restaurant staff, lack of honesty, or a history of infidelity.

Yet, for some, the deal-breaker goes beyond personality or behavior. It is about what the person does for a living.

There are certain jobs that can be an immediate turn-off for people seeking a serious relationship. Apparently, the job you do tells a lot about you.

But it also affects your life and the life of a potential partner. So, some people take everything into account about you and your everyday routine before even considering you as dating material.

Recently, a Redditor posed an intriguing question, "Which jobs are an instant deal-breaker for you in a committed relationship?" The responses were quite revealing.

People opened their souls and shared which professions make them feel insecure for some reason. Each of these jobs brought its own unique problems, from lifestyle challenges to perceived personality traits.

Take a scroll through these answers and see if your profession made the cut.

Influencer

"If your full-time gig is selling detox teas and promoting pyramid schemes, I’m out.

Bonus red flag if "hustle culture" is your religion."

Reddit

"Anyone who peddles MLM products and services. It totally wrecked my marriage. My ex appears to be happily remarried to someone who was in his downline."

Reddit

Exploring Job-Related Deal-Breakers

Career choices can significantly impact interpersonal relationships, often leading to friction or compatibility issues. Research in social psychology indicates that individuals often look for partners who share similar values and lifestyles, which can include work-related aspects.

For instance, long hours, high stress, or travel requirements can detract from emotional availability, leading to dissatisfaction in relationships.

Firefighters

"As a retired firefighter/paramedic, I'd say firefighters. It seems like lots of women in their 20's think dating/marrying a firefighter is like some kind of fantasy dream.

The truth is we work 24 hour shifts and a large part of the time on our days off all we do is sleep. The schedule and the amount of calls just beat your body to hell.

So many folks go into the fire service looking like a Greek god or goddess, but ten, twenty years later they're just broken and beat up with chronic knee pain and back pain and hearing loss. This is all aside from the serious trauma they deal with which so much of the time we can't even talk about because few people want to hear it.

Lots of jobs take a physical toll, lots of jobs take a mental toll, but very few jobs take the physical AND mental toll that being a first responder does."

Reddit

Cops

Reddit

Understanding Relationship Deal-Breakers

In the realm of relationships, certain factors can act as significant deal-breakers, often reflecting deeper psychological issues or unmet needs. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, explains that many deal-breakers are rooted in our fundamental needs for security, compatibility, and shared values. For instance, career choices that demand excessive time away from the partner can trigger feelings of neglect and insecurity.

Understanding these underlying motivations can help individuals navigate their feelings towards their partner’s career choices and whether they align with their relationship goals.

"Clown, I don't need the competition."

Reddit

Military service members

Reddit

Furthermore, studies show that job satisfaction is closely linked to personal happiness, which can spill over into partnerships. When an individual feels unfulfilled in their career, they may bring that discontent home, leading to increased tension and conflicts.

Recognizing the interplay between work and personal life is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

Stand up comedians

"Weird work hours and locations. Whole months away for fringe festivals.

Casual alcohol, d**g use, infidelity. Worst of all: Anthing that happens in your relationship will be made public if they think they can make it funny/interesting."

Reddit

Farmer

"Volatile income due to many external factors you can’t control, high rates of depression/suicide and all the ugliness that comes from mental health challenges, inability to get away, and just an overall doom and gloom mindset.

It may feel idyllic at first or the rare year things go well, but overall it’s just one crisis after another. I say that as a former farmer."

Reddit

Research indicates that differing values and priorities can lead to relationship dissatisfaction. According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a renowned relationship therapist, "When partners have conflicting work demands and values, it can create significant tension and misunderstandings." Couples whose lifestyles and values align tend to report higher levels of satisfaction, as noted by Solomon. When one partner's job involves long hours or ethical dilemmas that clash with the other's values, it can exacerbate these issues. Couples are encouraged to have open discussions about their values and work-related stressors, ensuring both partners feel heard and understood.

Chef

"I have nothing against chefs. But, a lot of people think that dating a chef means he will cook for you all the time, you kinda romanticize his job - but it's actually the opposite.

Cooking is work, and we don't like to bring work home with us. His hours are s**t.

Weekends, holidays, nights. You want to all have Thanksgiving as a family?

That might not be the case if you're in a serious relationship/marriage with a chef. Also, artists.

I say this as someone who paints (I don't like to say I'm an "artist") so I might be a major hypocrite here. But there is something about the art world that draws some of the most self-centered people on earth."

Reddit

Entrepeneur

Reddit

The Impact of Work-Life Balance

Maintaining a work-life balance is crucial for relationship health. Research from the American Psychological Association emphasizes that employees who manage their time effectively between work and personal life report higher relationship satisfaction.

Implementing boundaries, such as designated family time or work-free weekends, can help couples reconnect and strengthen their bond.

Bartending

"Bartending. You miss all events because you're working nights, other events, or at the event

Edit: ps I'm a bartender, this is what my most recent ex and I said as she also used to be industry."

Reddit

Truck drivers

"For me truck drivers. My dad is one and I see how my mom hates missing him.

She loves him loving his job, but hates not seeing him…."

Reddit

The Role of Stress in Relationships

Occupational stress can have profound effects on personal relationships. According to research from the American Psychological Association, chronic work-related stress can lead to irritability, resentment, and withdrawal from partners. When one partner is frequently overwhelmed by their job, they may unintentionally project that stress onto their relationship, creating a cycle of conflict.

To combat this, couples should establish boundaries between work and home life, such as designated 'no work' times where they can focus solely on their relationship.

"The amount of cheating in the flight and cabin crew world is wild."

Reddit

"Any job with big hours or that's dangerous. I had a workaholic parent and I promised myself I'll never have a workaholic as a partner."

Reddit

Another factor to consider is how job stress can affect emotional availability. Studies indicate that individuals in high-stress jobs may struggle with emotional regulation, which can lead to withdrawal or irritability in relationships.

Couples can mitigate this by developing stress-reducing techniques together, such as mindfulness or outdoor activities, which foster connection despite external pressures.

"I had a friend who worked at a funeral home for 10 years. He always said he would have better luck if he told women that he had been in prison for 10 years."

Reddit

"I wouldn’t date anyone in the sex industry."

Reddit

It's important to recognize that the impact of a partner's job goes beyond financial implications. The emotional toll of occupations that involve high levels of risk or moral ambiguity can lead to emotional unavailability or avoidance behaviors, which are detrimental to relationship health. Research indicates that partners in high-stress jobs are often less emotionally responsive, leading to feelings of loneliness in their significant others.

Encouraging partners to communicate their feelings about work-related stress can help mitigate these effects and foster a deeper emotional connection.

Any job?

Reddit

"Attorney. Dated one for 6 years. The constant competition killed it for me."

Reddit

Shared Values and Career Goals

Shared career aspirations and values can enhance compatibility in relationships. According to research in developmental psychology, partners who discuss and align their professional goals often experience greater relational harmony.

Engaging in open conversations about career ambitions can help partners understand each other's motivations and reduce resentment over time commitments.

Brokers

"Brokers— any kind of broker. Real estate, insurance, investment.

They’re always networking. Their goals are all sales oriented.

And the number of people in these fields who then devolve into treating their personal relationships as transactional is too damn high."

Reddit

A seafarer

"Based on experience cause I'm currently a seafarer. Long contracts and lack of reliable cell services can be a burden.

Aside from those there is also the stigma if you date a seafarer chances are they are getting laid every time we arrive at ports. Like wtf, its not that there are lines of women waiting for us outside the port area.

Most of my time is spent looking at the sea and finding a reliable and stable cell service."

Reddit

Identifying Personal Deal-Breakers

Individuals must take the time to reflect on their own deal-breakers, which often stem from personal values and past experiences. Psychological studies suggest that understanding one's non-negotiables is crucial for relationship success. For instance, if a person has previously experienced infidelity, they may have a low tolerance for dishonesty, making that a significant deal-breaker.

Self-reflection exercises, like journaling about past relationship experiences, can help individuals clarify their boundaries and deal-breakers, leading to healthier relationship choices.

"Friend of mine dated a chef, she now advises anyone who will listen to never date one. She says you never seen them."

Reddit

A male teacher

"Hey baby, how’d you like to date a male teacher? I have to work evenings and weekends to keep up with an unreasonable workload.

I’m cranky because I deal with social issues and don’t get mental health support to process witnessed or second-hand trauma. There’s a pretty good statistical chance I won’t break six figures until I’m in my late 50s or early 60s, my pay doesn’t match inflation, and there’s a social perception that I’m in teaching cause I’m a pervert.

Baby? Where are you going?

Stop running girl, I help build up my community! Why you throwing Starbucks gift cards at me!?”

Yeah, there’s a reason I’ve only dated fellow educators."

Reddit

Moreover, job security can be a significant concern for many couples. Research shows that financial stress can exacerbate relationship tension, often leading to arguments about spending and future planning.

Establishing a joint budget or financial goals can promote teamwork and reduce anxiety surrounding finances.

"When I grew up, the local fish mongers assistant just could not get a date. My sisters joked that he was the last man on earth to date as no matter how he washed, the fish smell lingered."

Reddit

"Surgeons, I listen to them complain about their wives and kids during surgery."

Reddit

Communication is key when discussing deal-breakers in relationships. According to research from Stanford University, partners who engage in transparent conversations about their expectations and boundaries are more likely to create a supportive environment. It’s essential for both partners to express their needs and fears without judgment, fostering a safe space for both to share their thoughts.

Couples might benefit from scheduling regular check-ins to discuss their feelings about their relationship dynamics, ensuring that both partners feel valued and respected.

"People in the army…."

Reddit

"Judging from what I see with celebrities, definitely being an actor/actress."

Reddit

The Role of Communication in Addressing Concerns

Effective communication is key when navigating the challenges posed by job-related deal-breakers. Couples should feel empowered to express their concerns and needs without fear of judgment.

Utilizing tools like structured dialogues or regular check-ins can help partners maintain clarity and understanding, which can prevent misunderstandings related to work obligations.

"Only Fans."

Reddit

"Probably any that involve risking your life and not being home for long periods."

Reddit

Navigating Career Changes

Career changes can often bring stress and uncertainty that impact relationships. The transition can generate feelings of insecurity and instability, especially if one partner's new job requires more time away from home or leads to changes in financial dynamics. Research suggests that couples who navigate these transitions together, with open communication and mutual support, tend to emerge stronger.

Creating a shared vision of how to manage career changes can help couples align their goals and maintain their emotional connection during times of uncertainty.

"Investment bankers. Arrogant and always working. 2 of them told me their sex drive is dead."

Reddit

Personal trainers

"As a personal trainer; Personal Trainers.

You're not horny, you're just exercising. Leave your PT alone.

They're completely different outside the gym, and often are very boring people."

Reddit

Lastly, recognizing the potential for personal growth through career changes can be beneficial. Research in vocational psychology suggests that individuals who support each other's career transitions often strengthen their relationship bonds.

Encouraging each other to pursue educational opportunities or new job prospects can lead to both personal fulfillment and relational satisfaction.

"Anything that requires spending a long time apart."

"I wouldn’t date a Pilot, flight attendant, military etc. These are also the people who are notorious for cheating on their spouses.

EDIT: Also MINERS, the next town over is a mining town with a population of 23,000 and they were so horny that the men would pool their money together and fly out prostitutes from the nearest city and use the women for a long weekend and then fly them back. I forgot how gross miners can be.

So glad I moved away from that place. That town was truly the a*****e of Australia.

Just a dirty town that made you feel like you were in the gutter. It had that underlying feeling that there was something sinister below the surface. Pls don’t ask me what town, I don’t want anyone finding out my location.

EDIT 2: There was also a FaceBook page called the “*** Mines Cheaters” which caused chaos, broke relationships, tore families apart and ruined the lives of the kids of those families. It got shut down but a lot of men and women were outed as cheaters on that page. It was a clusterfuck."

Reddit

Police

Reddit

Ultimately, relationship deal-breakers are subjective and can vary widely from person to person. Understanding one's own values and boundaries while being open to discussing them with a partner is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. Couples are encouraged to approach these conversations with empathy, recognizing that each person's experience and feelings are valid.

By fostering an open dialogue about expectations and career choices, partners can work together to find solutions that honor both individuals' needs.

"Pilots and Flight Attendants. Irregular hours and long periods away from home can make maintaining a stable relationship challenging."

Reddit

"My friend once dated an “ethical hacker”. He was so “ethical” that he also checked all her messages for her so she didn’t have to do it!"

Reddit

This Reddit discussion was truly revealing. Is your job on the list?

If it is, do you agree with these POVs, or do you see things differently? Anyway, these deal-breaker jobs tell us more about what we value most in relationships.

So, if you suspect your job is affecting your dating life, maybe it's time to consider changing it.

"‘Entrepreneur’ with 8 side-hustles"

Reddit

Military, police, firemen

Reddit

Cargo ship or such

Reddit

Film and tv worker

Reddit

Engineers?

Reddit

Nurses

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Working opposite schedules

Reddit

Psychological Analysis

From a psychological standpoint, recognizing and addressing deal-breakers is vital for relationship health. Individuals often carry emotional baggage from past experiences that can influence their current relationships. Open communication about these deal-breakers can foster understanding and prevent misunderstandings, leading to a more harmonious partnership.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating deal-breakers requires a blend of self-awareness and open communication. Research indicates that couples who actively engage in discussions about their values and expectations are more likely to maintain a healthy relationship over time. By understanding the psychological factors at play, partners can work together to address potential issues before they become significant obstacles.

Psychological Analysis

This article highlights the critical intersection of career choices and relationship dynamics. Understanding how work-related stress and demands can impact emotional availability is key to fostering healthier partnerships. By addressing these issues together, couples can navigate potential deal-breakers more effectively.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating relationship deal-breakers related to careers requires open communication, shared values, and a commitment to work-life balance. Understanding each other's professional demands can foster empathy and connection.

Ultimately, couples who actively engage in discussions about their careers can create a supportive environment that enhances both personal and relational growth.