Man Refuses To Give Back Gift His Ex Gave Him Several Years Ago, Terms It Tacky And Strange Request

A 28-year-old man is getting roasted online after refusing to hand back a handmade machete his ex bought for him in Thailand years ago. And no, it wasn’t some sentimental love letter on a shelf, it was a weapon-shaped souvenir she apparently now wants back.

The whole thing gets messy fast: his ex went to Thailand, came home with the machete, and gave it to him like it was no big deal. Years later, she decides the gift needs to be returned, but instead of contacting him directly, she sends a third party. When OP calls the request tacky and strange, she flips the script and acts like he’s the AH for even questioning it.

Now OP is stuck wondering if he’s being petty, or if she’s just trying to erase the past with a weird pickup request.

The story's title

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OP's ex went to Thailand and got him a handmade machete as a gift

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The dynamics of possession in relationships reveal much about individual attachment styles.

She acted like the OP was an AH for insinuating that the request was tacky and strange

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Below are some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through

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OP says friends mostly sided with him, but a few think he’s being petty about a non-sentimental machete that he just wants to keep out of his space.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

Friends' opinions are primarily NTA, but there are some outliers who think I'm being petty about it since the machete isn't overly sentimental or important to me.

The OP's not obligated to give the gift back

Reddit/ThunderingSloth

It's strange that she's sending a third party

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That’s when the “friend” connection comes into play, and OP suspects his ex used a third party because he’s blocked everywhere else and she knew the request sounded embarrassing.

This situation highlights how personal values around gifts can lead to misunderstandings. When these beliefs clash, they can create conflict, as seen in the current situation.

That “don’t make it weird” pressure feels similar to the $5000 loan repayment debate with a friend.

Posting a petty picture

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I don't keep junk around

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The OP left this somewhere in the comments

Based on the conversation, it seemed to me that my ex had enlisted this "friend" to reach out to me, likely because she has me blocked on everything she could use to contact me and/or she realizes it's a bizarre and embarrassing thing to request and decided to push that embarrassment onto someone else.

The OP shouldn't waste his time

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She needs to reach out directly

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Meanwhile, commenters point out he’s not obligated to return anything, especially since he claims he doesn’t keep junk around, so the machete is basically just clutter to him.

The situation surrounding the refusal to return a gift from an ex highlights the complex emotions tied to gift-giving and receiving. The article illustrates that when someone requests the return of a gift, it can evoke feelings of rejection and insecurity, particularly when the gift symbolizes a past relationship. This emotional weight often leads to defensive stances, as seen in the man's strong response to what he deemed a tacky request. The act of asking for a gift back can feel like a rejection of not just the item but also the relationship itself, intensifying the conflict and complicating the dynamics between the individuals involved.

That is a weird request

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Even the arguments about who’s right or wrong about gifts turn into a bigger fight about rejection, because asking for the machete back can feel like she’s trying to reclaim more than a souvenir.

Conflicts surrounding gifts often expose deeper issues tied to attachment and ownership. In the case of the man who refuses to return a gift from his ex, his decision may indicate unresolved emotional ties or an unwillingness to sever connections from the past. Gifts can serve as symbols of emotional bonds, and when disputes arise, they often reflect underlying feelings that have not been addressed. The request to return the gift, deemed tacky and strange by the recipient, suggests a lack of mutual understanding and respect for personal boundaries, which can complicate the dynamics between former partners. Navigating these emotional landscapes requires a delicate balance of expressing feelings while respecting the memories attached to such gifts.

The OP is guessing that neither his ex nor her friend has his phone number, and he's quite pleased about that. This means that they had to resort to the next form of contact they could think of, which was to find him on Facebook and message him.

The OP also thought it was really strange to use Facebook Messenger to reach out. Redditors made their verdict, and the OP was declared not the AH.

To navigate these feelings, it's important to approach the situation with empathy.

Building Healthy Boundaries

Establishing healthy boundaries around possessions and gifts is crucial for maintaining relational harmony. Creating a shared understanding of what gifts symbolize can help partners navigate these emotional complexities.

Ultimately, fostering an environment of open communication and mutual respect around gifts and possessions can strengthen relational bonds.

He turned down a “return the Thailand machete” scavenger hunt, and now he’s wondering if the real tacky part is the way she went about it.

WIBTA for pressing my friend to repay money, even if it risks tension? Read the case about the friend who owes them money.