Roommate Backed Out of Apartment Search Agreement - WIBTA for Excluding Them?

A 28-year-old woman thought she and her roommate, Alex (30NB), were moving in sync, until the apartment viewings suddenly vanished. They had already talked through a budget, location, and must-have amenities, and OP even planned around Alex splitting the costs.

Then the day came to schedule tours, and Alex backed out, citing a sudden financial change. OP didn’t just get delayed, they got left behind, so they kept searching solo, found a place that matched everything, and signed a lease without consulting Alex. Now Alex is mad, calling OP impatient and selfish, and they want to join the next round of searches like nothing happened.

Here’s the messy part, OP wants to know if excluding Alex from future apartment plans makes them the villain.

Original Post

So I'm (28F), currently sharing an apartment with my roommate, Alex (30NB), for the past year. We had discussed our desire to move to a new place together when our lease expires.

We even agreed on a budget, location, and must-have amenities. We both started looking for potential places online and compiling a list of options to visit.

However, when it came time to schedule viewings, Alex suddenly backed out. For background, Alex mentioned a sudden change in financial situation, but I couldn't help feeling they just lost interest in our plans.

This left me high and dry, as I had counted on them to split costs and make the move less stressful. I went ahead and visited a few places alone, found one that fits all our criteria, and signed a lease without consulting Alex.

When I broke the news, Alex was upset, claiming I should've waited for their situation to improve. They accused me of being impatient and selfish.

Now they're asking to come with me to see the new place, but I feel like they abandoned our agreement. So, WIBTA for excluding Alex from future apartment searches after they backed out of our agreed plans?

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This also echoes the roommate who broke the rent-split promise, then asked for help moving in.

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Alex backed out right when viewings were supposed to start, and OP felt the rug get pulled out from under their whole move timeline.

OP still toured places alone, found the perfect match, and signed the lease without waiting for Alex’s finances to magically line up.

When OP told Alex, Alex flipped it into a “you should’ve waited” argument, even though they were the ones who stopped showing up to the plan.

Now Alex wants in again for the next apartment search, but OP is wondering if that’s just reopening the same abandoned agreement.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

If Alex wants to shop like a roommate, they should’ve acted like one when the tours were on the calendar.

Blindsided by family housing decisions too, check out the AITA about a family renting out a room without consulting you.