Roommate Conflict: Did I Overstep by Hiring a Cat Behaviorist?

AITA for hiring a cat behaviorist without consulting my roommate? Conflicting views arise over addressing Whiskers' disruptive behavior - what's your take?

Davy

Published in Interesting
2025-08-20 07:03

Roommate Conflict: Did I Overstep by Hiring a Cat Behaviorist?

Are you ever justified in taking matters into your own hands when it comes to shared living spaces and pets? Picture this: you and your roommate are navigating the challenges of cohabitation when suddenly, your roommate's cat starts causing disruptions.

Excessive meowing at night and furniture scratching become the new norm, affecting both your sleep and the apartment's condition. You try suggesting solutions, but your roommate dismisses them.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

Frustrated and sleep-deprived, you make a bold move - hiring a cat behaviorist without consulting your roommate. In this Reddit thread, a 29-year-old woman grapples with the aftermath of her decision.

Was she in the wrong for taking action to address the cat's behavior, or did she overstep boundaries by not involving her roommate in the process? The ensuing discussion in the comments section sheds light on the different perspectives and moral dilemmas at play.

Opinions vary from labeling her as the antagonist (YTA) for disregarding her roommate's authority over the pet to sharing the blame (ESH) for lacking proper communication. Some Redditors sympathize with her actions (NTA), emphasizing the shared responsibility of maintaining a harmonious living environment.

The debate rages on, highlighting the delicate balance between autonomy and consideration in shared living spaces.

Original Post

So I'm (29F) living with my roommate (27F) in a cozy apartment. We both work full-time jobs and enjoy a peaceful living environment.

Recently, my roommate's cat, Whiskers, has been displaying concerning behavior like excessive meowing at night and scratching furniture. It started to affect both of our sleep and the condition of our furniture.

I tried discussing possible solutions with my roommate, like buying new scratching posts or adjusting Whiskers' diet, but she brushed off my suggestions as unnecessary. After a particularly rough night of being woken up by Whiskers, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

Without consulting my roommate, I reached out to a professional cat behaviorist to come to assess Whiskers' behavior. The behaviorist recommended some changes to Whiskers' routine and environment to address the issues.

When my roommate found out, she was furious. She accused me of overstepping boundaries and disrespecting her authority over Whiskers.

She argued that I should have discussed it with her first and that it's her cat, not mine. She even mentioned that she was planning to take Whiskers to the vet for a check-up and behavior consultation on her own.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

I genuinely believed I was helping improve our living situation by addressing Whiskers' behavior, but now I'm not sure. So AITA?