Redditor Asks If She's an A**hole for Moving Out Because She's Sick of Dealing with Roommate's Mental Health Issues
"You can lead a horse to water..."
Mental illness is nearly inescapable these days, and chances are, at some stage in your life, you will either have some sort of mental condition or know someone who does. For Reddit user u/sunshine061213, that person is her roommate, "Sarah."
The Redditor recently shared her story in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit. She explained that she and Sarah moved in together about two years ago.
They were high school friends, and the OP's parents didn't require them to pay rent to live in their vacation home. However, the first six months were quite rocky because Sarah's mental health wasn't good.
The OP says they barely spoke to each other, and the only time Sarah was bearable to be around was when she smoked weed. The Redditor did all of the housework and usually had to prepare or order food for Sarah as well.
It was a tough time for the OP, but Sarah doesn't seem to acknowledge that. The Redditor was feeling burnt out, but then Sarah started seeing a psychiatrist and got a new girlfriend.
Sarah's medication was working, and she had the emotional support she needed. Things were great for a while, and the OP was getting along with Sarah like they used to.
The OP even made plans to return to school, intending to do so while she and Sarah lived together. But then everything changed for the worse when Sarah decided to stop taking her medication.
She became depressed and stopped seeing any of her friends. Sarah stopped doing her share of the chores again and began snapping at the OP about everything.
The Redditor was only supposed to be with her parents for a week, but she decided to stay for six. Now, the OP is afraid of what might happen when she tells Sarah she's planning on moving out permanently.
The OP has offered to help Sarah by getting her therapy, but she's not interested. Now the Redditor is wondering if she's the a**hole here.
The Redditor asked if she's an a**hole for kicking her roommate out after she stopped taking her meds.
Reddit/sunshine061213She explained that she and Sarah moved in together about two years ago.

Coping with a Roommate's Mental Health Challenges
Living with a roommate who struggles with mental health issues can be taxing on one's emotional well-being. Research by Dr. Marsha Linehan indicates that individuals in close proximity to those with emotional dysregulation often experience heightened stress and anxiety.
Understanding these dynamics is crucial for establishing healthy boundaries and protecting one's mental health.
They were high school friends, and the OP's parents didn't make them pay rent to live in their vacation home.
But the first six months were pretty rocky because Sarah's mental health wasn't good.
Behavioral psychologists emphasize the importance of self-care when navigating such challenges. Engaging in activities that promote emotional well-being can help individuals maintain balance while supporting their roommate.
Studies show that individuals who prioritize self-care report higher levels of life satisfaction and lower rates of burnout.
The OP says they barely spoke to each other, and the only time Sarah was bearable to be around was when she smoked weed.
The Redditor did all of the housework and usually had to prepare or order food for Sarah as well.
Setting Boundaries with Roommates
Establishing boundaries is essential when living with a roommate facing mental health issues. Research indicates that clear communication about personal needs and limits can foster a more supportive living environment.
Using 'I' statements can help convey feelings without assigning blame, facilitating more constructive conversations.
It was a tough time for the OP, but Sarah doesn't seem to acknowledge that.
The Redditor was feeling burnt out, but then Sarah started seeing a psychiatrist and got a new girlfriend.
From a psychological standpoint, it’s important to recognize that feeling overwhelmed in such situations is normal. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) suggests that reframing negative thoughts about the roommate's behavior can help individuals manage their emotional responses more effectively.
By focusing on their own needs and well-being, individuals can cultivate a healthier living dynamic.
Sarah's meds were working, and she had the emotional support she needed.
Things were great for a while, and the OP was getting along with Sarah like they used to.
Seeking Support for Roommate Challenges
Engaging in therapy or support groups can provide valuable tools for individuals navigating complex roommate dynamics. Research suggests that sharing experiences with others can foster a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation.
Therapy can also offer strategies for managing stress and improving communication with the roommate.
The OP even made plans to return to school, and she planned on doing so while she and Sarah lived together.
But then everything changed for the worse when Sarah decided to stop taking her meds.
It’s also crucial to recognize that while supporting a roommate is important, one's own mental health should not be compromised. Establishing personal boundaries can help prevent resentment and promote a healthier living environment.
Studies show that individuals who engage in boundary-setting report greater satisfaction in their living situations.
She became depressed, and she stopped seeing any of her friends.
Sarah stopped doing her share of the chores again, and she was snapping at the OP about everything.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP is being the a**hole here for not wanting to deal with Sarah's mental health issues anymore?
We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.
The Redditor was only supposed to be with her parents for a week, but she decided to stay for six.
Now the OP is afraid of what might happen when she tells Sarah she's planning on moving out permanently.
The OP has offered to help Sarah by getting her therapy, but she's not interested.
Now the Redditor is wondering if she's the a**hole here.
Here's how people reacted.
Reddit/NemoNowan
"You can lead a horse to water..."
Reddit/IAndaraB
NTA.
Reddit/Individual_Metal_983
"It's not your responsibility."
Reddit/Independent-Wheel354
"What's wrong with you?"
Reddit/DomesticMongol
Psychological Analysis
This situation illustrates the emotional toll that living with a roommate facing mental health challenges can take. From a psychological perspective, it’s essential for individuals to prioritize their own well-being while navigating these complex dynamics.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Navigating the complexities of living with a roommate who struggles with mental health challenges requires self-awareness, communication, and boundary-setting. Research consistently supports that prioritizing self-care and establishing clear boundaries can enhance emotional well-being and foster more positive living dynamics.
By focusing on these elements, individuals can create healthier environments while supporting their roommates effectively.