Roommate Refuses to Use Soap After Bathroom Trips: AITA for Asking?

A 28-year-old woman refused to use soap after bathroom trips, and it turned a shared living situation into a daily gross-out battle. The OP noticed it fast, not because they were trying to police anyone, but because they kept seeing the same pattern after her bowel movements.

They do not share bathrooms, but they do share the stuff that actually gets touched all day, door handles, light switches, and other high-contact surfaces. After OP asked her to use soap, she agreed she doesn’t, then kept touching shared surfaces and sometimes even OP’s belongings.

To make it worse, OP has OCD, so the discomfort is constant, and the roommate’s “cooperative” behavior still leaves OP disinfecting and changing bedsheets like it’s a repeat performance.

Original Post

I share a room with a roommate. We don’t share a bathroom, but we do share things like door handles, light switches, and other commonly touched surfaces.

I noticed that after using the toilet for a bowel movement, she washes her hands with only water and doesn’t use soap. I later asked her that too and she agreed she doesn't !!!

After that, she touches shared surfaces and sometimes my belongings. Because we live in the same space and touch the same things, I asked her if she could please use soap after using the toilet.

I also have OCD which leads to increased discomfort even though I know it might be disgusting for everyone equally. Edit : She didn't even have a hand wash so I gave her my new hand wash (she will pay for it ) and yeah as of now, i am just gonna change my bedsheet and disinfect the switches ughh And yes, I am reminding her everytime and she looks cooperative to me but I am gonna shift my bed away bcs I can't!!!!!!!

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This allergy vs sentiment standoff is similar to the partner refusing to get rid of a fur couch despite intense allergies.

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OP finally confronts her about washing with only water, and she basically shrugs and admits she won’t use soap.

After OP realizes she doesn’t even have hand wash, they hand over their own new bottle, with the roommate set to pay them back.

Even with reminders and “cooperative” vibes, OP still ends up disinfecting switches and swapping out bedsheets because the contamination feels unavoidable.

The roommate keeps touching the same shared surfaces, so OP starts planning to shift their bed away because they cannot take it anymore.

We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

OP’s roommate isn’t just refusing soap, she’s turning every shared surface into a problem.

Want more roommate fallout, see how someone secretly rehomed a neglected cat without telling her.