Roommates Boyfriend Taking Over Apartment: AITA for Refusing Full Rent?

Jess’s boyfriend, Alex, didn’t just show up for a couple nights, he slowly turned OP’s apartment into his second home. And OP is not being subtle about the fact that he’s there almost every day, eating their food, using their utilities, and taking up space like he pays rent.

Here’s the twist that makes this messy: their lease says only the listed tenants can live there. So Alex being around all the time is not just “relationship stuff,” it’s a direct rule break. Jess says Alex “fell on tough times,” but months later, he’s still not contributing, and he’s even started using OP’s personal belongings without asking.

Now OP is refusing to pay the full rent unless something changes, and Jess is calling her heartless.

Original Post

I (27F) have been living with my roommate, Jess (29F), for over a year now. We split the rent and bills evenly, and things have been going well until recently.

Jess started dating someone new, and slowly, her boyfriend, Alex, practically moved into our apartment. At first, it was just a few nights a week, but now he's here almost every day, using our utilities, eating our food, and taking up space.

For background, our lease strictly states that only the tenants listed are allowed to live in the apartment. So, having Alex here all the time is breaking that rule.

It's not like he pays any rent or contributes to the bills, so I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I brought this up with Jess, explaining that Alex needs to either start paying his share or limit his time here.

Jess got defensive, saying that Alex had fallen on tough times and needed a place to stay.

However, it's been months, and there's no end in sight. To make matters worse, Alex has even started using my personal belongings without asking, which crosses a line for me.

I told Jess that I'm not comfortable with the situation and that I won't pay the full rent this month unless something changes. She's furious with me, accusing me of being heartless and unsupportive.

But I feel like I'm being taken advantage of in my own home. So AITA?

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This also echoes the AITA where someone confronted their roommate over months of unpaid rent.

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At first it was just Alex hanging around a few nights a week, but OP noticed the pattern when he kept showing up “almost every day” and nobody mentioned bills.</p>

The lease rule is the real problem here, because Jess is basically letting Alex live there while OP is the one stuck watching utilities and groceries disappear.</p>

It escalated fast when Alex started using OP’s personal belongings, and that’s when OP said she would not pay full rent unless the situation changed.</p>

Jess flipped out over OP’s refusal, even though Alex has been freeloading for months and neither of them has set an actual limit.</p>

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

OP might be the “heartless” one in Jess’s eyes, but nobody wants to subsidize a boyfriend’s takeover.

Before you decide what Jess owes, read how a luxury-spending roommate tried to shift rent costs.